There’s something sad about a mother who is jealous of her own children. That’s not me. If my children succeed where I have failed, I celebrate.
The girls got better report cards than I did—Happy Mother Check Mark.
The girls made varsity sports and I didn’t—Happy Mother Check Mark.
The girls went to their Senior Prom and poor old me did not—Happy Mother Check Mark.
The girls can read maps, are techno whizzes, and know how to use eyeliner—Happy Mother Check Marks. I could go on and on. Check. Check. Check.
But the other day, I was looking at my daughter Kath’s complexion. She swears she is getting wrinkles around her eyes, but it would take a mega magnifying glass to find them. Her skin is beautiful. In fact, hers might be the skin older women praised me for forty years ago.
Bad Mother Alert! Jealousy reared its nasty head and flashed its green eyes. Jealousy tried to leap into her body and make that skin mine. But I stopped it in its slimy tracks. Motherly pride prevailed.
It’s my turn to do the admiring of young skin. This concept has taken a while to settle in, and I’ve had to squash my jealousy on a few more occasions. Now every time I see skin worth trading an entire fall wardrobe for, I give that young lady a Happy Mother Check Mark, no matter whose child she is. (And if I’m feeling extra motherly, I remind her how much younger I might look now if I had not let myself get suntans in my early years—It’s true; we used baby oil!) Aging with grace includes embracing and championing people in all stages of life, especially the young–beautiful skin and all.
The portrait is Kath and Laura’s grandma, my mom, Nancy Wenger Kiehne, as a student at Duke University in 1944. It was painted by one of her boyfriends. She had lots of them. Ah youth.
To read more of Barbara’s blogs visit http://friendfortheride.wordpress.com/
Barbara Younger
Barbara Younger blogs from her home in Hillsborough, North Carolina. Along with Friend for the Ride: Encouraging Words for the Menopause Roller Coaster (http://friendfortheride.com), she writes books for children and adults. She lives in an old house with her husband Cliff. and collections of everything from dolls to buttons to bookmarks. She's the mother of two grown daughters and the grandmother to one adorable baby boy!
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How true is this! And very amusing. Human nature is a funny thing Barbara and I defy any woman to argue she’s never felt this way over either her daughter or daughter’s friend!!
on October 10, 2011 at 3:05 pm AmandaThanks, Amanda! I bet you’re right.
on October 10, 2011 at 5:32 pm Barbara Younger