Where to start ….. I’ve always had issues with my weight. I vaguely remember as a little girl being denied some of the cakes and sweets others were having and I’m grateful to my mother for not allowing me to over-indulge like so many children do today.
I remember clearly being 16 a and a size 10. I have a photo of myself on my 16th birthday in a pair of yellow drain pipe trousers (I suppose we call them skinny fit today) and a black top. I do look very slim. I think I was very much like this until I went away to university at 18 and that’s when I really became aware that what I ate (and drank) affected my size. I remember graduating in 1986 wearing a very tight size 16 skirt. I have documentary evidence of the event and I do look ‘big’!
My weight continued to fluctuate up and down until I’d had my last child in 1999 and I knew I needed to do something about the fact I was a size 16 again, and around 2.5 stone overweight. But as many mothers with young children will appreciate, trying to find time for yourself with a growing family coupled with the fact my youngest, Alice, had severe atopic eczema which consumed me, was difficult. So I ate all the wrong things, drank copious amounts of wine to get me through, so not surprisingly I was overweight.
By 2003 I decided to take action. I joined one of the local slimming clubs and over a 10 month period lost 2 stone. I felt fantastic. I think the phrase that best summed up how I felt then is ‘nothing tastes as good as skinny feels’. For the first time since I was 16 I could go into a shop and buy pretty much whatever I liked as EVERYTHING fitted me. People who hadn’t seen me for a while noticed the transformation and the attention I got felt good.
I even lost a little more weight, started running and completed two half marathons.
I kept the weight off for about two years, but then gradually it started to creep back on. By now I’d met and married my second husband, was extremely happy and became complaisant …
So in 2011 I find myself close to the heaviest I’ve ever been and I feel uncomfortable, frumpy and miserable. I don’t want to go back to those slimming clubs as there’s nothing they can tell me I don’t already know. I know that if I eat less and exercise I will lose weight. I know what bad foods to substitute for good foods. And I know all about portion size. So what’s stopping me?
My head ….. Yes it is about what I eat and how much I exercise, but it’s also about what’s in my head! I need to take control of my head – I need to take control of me.
I’m off to meet a friend for coffee in about an hour – it’s one of those well known cafes that sell wonderful lattes. This will be my first test …. can I resist a vanilla latte that’s all warm and comforting? Yes I can. And I will. I am in control of me.
Over the next few weeks and months I will be using my blog, and hopefully feedback from you, to keep me on the straight and narrow. I want to lose 2.5 stone in total, but I know I have to be realistic and think of losing weight in smaller manageable chunks. My first goal is to lose one stone by Christmas. It’s only 10 weeks til Christmas, so that’s about 1.5 pounds each week …. I will keep you updated on my progress, the highs and the lows …. and how I am managing to stay in control of me!
Have a great weekend.