rich emollient used in the management of eczema, psoriasis and other dry skin conditions.


As I listened to Jessie Pavalka and Charlie Walduck chatting about health and fitness, the one comment that struck me was, ‘fall in love with the feeling, not the visual progress’…or something along those lines…I was so enraptured with Jessie and his wise words, and Charlie’s interviewing skills, that it took me a while to write it down!

Think about it for a second. ‘Fall in love with the feeling, not the visual progress’. A rather simple statement, yet so crucial to our success. I have spent so many moments being fed up over the numbers on the scales, or pinching a roll of fat and looking at myself with hatred. What exactly I expected to achieve when I was doing that, I have no idea…and I am glad that I have managed to sort my mind out – or am at least making progress anyway.

I have woken up feeling great and walked through the doors of my Slimming World feeling really excited. And then I have stepped on the scales and my heart has sunk and my mood has instantly changed. I get a kind of pout and a frown, and if I wasn’t so aware of being surrounded by people, I would probably stamp my feet too! Yet I have walked through the doors on a few occasions and not expected anything, and been pleasantly surprised…and have been on a high all day. It makes me wonder if the scales have some magic power! We feel good or bad dependant upon a number, regardless of our mood and feelings beforehand…crazy really.

The same issues arise when I catch sight of myself in the mirror. I might have been feeling fabulous beforehand, yet a glimpse can rip that feeling to shreds! What a way to live…how can I, and why do I, do this to myself? A number should not define me. Just because I weigh ‘x’ does not mean that I am ‘x’. I am far more than a number. The scales give me an indication of my relationship with gravity…nothing more, nothing less!

The scales don’t measure love, or strength, or intellect, or beauty, or kindness, or talent, or possibility, or zest for life…I could go on, but I think – or I hope – you get the point. Whilst I absolutely understand the reasons for maintaining a healthy weight, I think that it is really important to take notice of the journey. It is rare to drive hundreds of miles without stopping for a breather, and therefore I am going to apply the same method whilst trying to lose hundreds of pounds!

Taking time out to appreciate and recognise the ‘places of interest’ along the way is important. Those non-scale victories I talk about – fitting into a jacket I couldn’t wear, or buying some lace up shoes, being able to put socks on, or walk on the treadmill for thirty minutes. Yes, they are now achievable as a result of losing weight…but I can’t attribute a specific number to them. But I can tell you how bloody great they FEEL!

I can’t attribute a specific number to the giggles I had with my niece today, or the joy on my nephews face as he toddled up the street for a cuddle with me. Nor can I attribute a number to the wonderful little nuzzles my horse was giving me as I sat outside his stable feeding him radishes and kiwi fruit the other day. And the same goes for having my dog follow me to the bathroom as she can’t bear to be parted from us! All of these wonderful things are not attributed to weight.

This learned behaviour needs to be unlearned – and it isn’t that hard to change really! I sit in my car before weigh in now and think of the wonderful things I achieved that week. And once I step off the scales I run through that list in my head. I know this sounds rather simple, but I realised how powerful this method is when I was driving away from weigh-in this week with a smile on my face. That smile was there despite losing a lot less than I had imagined given the amount of effort I had put in to my exercise. And that smile was there despite me not hitting my ’29st something’ target in time for my birthday (which is on Sunday!).

You and I are worth so much more than that pesky number on the scales. You are a fabulous person (as am I!) with so much to offer. And regardless of that number you are marvellous just as you are.

Jessie and his wise words made me think about how I feel. Honestly, I feel bloody marvellous at the moment! You can listen to the interview here – it is well worth it as Jessie gave some excellent advice. For those of you who don’t know Jessie, he is a personal trainer (model, actor, presenter…all round good guy!) who specialises in working with people who have obesity issues. He presented ‘Obese: a year to save my life’ and is presenting ‘Fat: the fight of my life’ which is the follow up series that starts on Sky Living in July.

Right then, today’s usuals…

I woke up in a bit of pain with my back, but got on the treadmill and found it actually relieved my pain. I then worked on my other half’s project for three hours, worked out some more, and then headed out. My niece spotted us and jumped in the car with us to see the horses. She then had toilet issues in Dunelm Mill which saw a lady coming to the rescue by bringing loo roll to the disabled loo…as there was only one square of paper left! This toilet trip took over half an hour! We then went to a laptop shop and chose one I wanted, only to be left waiting for over half an hour whilst they tried to find the man with the keys to the storeroom. By this time, it was nearing 3pm and I had not had lunch and was getting ratty…so much so that we left without a laptop and I am therefore still without my 11″ as promised! I finished my workout once home, had lunch and then my Mum popped over and we caught up – she is a Big Brother freak and cannot wait for the new series tonight. I am going to try and avoid it, as I get far too involved! So this evening might hold a date with Martina Cole and ‘The Graft’.

Breakfast: Banana and two Alpen light bars (1 x HEB).

20130613-174020.jpgLunch: Leftover Mexican bean bake.

20130613-174117.jpgDinner: Sweet potato chips, Linda McCartney rosemary and red onion sausages, Cajun roasted veggies.

20130613-192330.jpgSnacks: Two packets Snack a Jacks (9 syns) and two cheese pizza toasties (2 x HEA, 1 x HEB and 6 syns).


20130613-201812.jpgMy food today was lovely. Lunch was immense! The leftover bean bake had developed in flavour and tasted gorgeous. As did dinner which was a really simple one…throwing some chopped sweet potato, red onion, courgette and pepper into the Actifry with some Cajun seasoning. I have missed my cheese toasties and so thought that I would have a couple tonight using my healthy extras and a few syns…with spinach, tomato purée, garlic and herbs…well worth it!

Exercise: 6 x 10 minute treadmill sessions and 15 minutes of BodyPump.
After yesterday’s 30 minute escapade on the treadmill, and a silly method of getting off my back from lifting weights, I had a really sore back last night…which is still sore now. Fortunately, the walking today actually helped to ease the pain and I substituted the weight technique which meant me lying down again, with another, so as not to cause any aches. The problem is that I have a huge bum, with a big bum ‘shelf’ at the back, so lying flat on my back on a hard surface means that my spine gets quite bent. This is what caused the niggle…or rather it was my stupid way of hauling myself upright yesterday that did it I think. So I will see how I go over the next few days; I think gentle exercise is the way to go, so I am keeping to my small but frequent sessions.

Thank you for reading!

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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