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rich emollient used in the management of eczema, psoriasis and other dry skin conditions.

21Jun

…but tomorrow parts of the country are due to have half a months worth of rain in three hours – so the arrival of summer is a bit like a damp fecking firework on 5th November – disappointing! I won’t discuss the quirks of British summertime though…instead I will quietly remember Caribbean climes of holidays past!

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In the spirit of having a ‘Positive Mental Attitude’ – that thing I keep harping on about, I thought that it would be nice to look ahead to summer 2014. Whilst I don’t want to hibernate until then, I am not a lover of summer…it just doesn’t bode well for a fat girl like me! I hate the heat – as I get sweaty and irritable – and I hate the mozzie bites I get – I am sure the buggers could smell my diabetic-sweet blood! Unless I am somewhere lovely and warm, on a sun lounger and within rolling distance of the cooling sea, you can give me snow and autumnal weather any day.

Given that I am still very overweight, have an ‘English Rose’ complexion, and bingo-wings that should never be seen in a vest-top, it is rare to find me enjoying the sun. However, in July I am having a meeting of minds with two wonderful blogger pals and apparently a picnic on the beach is the order of day. I have decided that my summer hat and the factor 50 will be packed, along with the hummus that I have been requested to make…it is all a bit exciting!

Looking back at this time last year, I would never have been contemplating a beach picnic…a picnic, yes…but not one involving people who were outside of my close family unit. I hid myself away and didn’t feel deserving or worthy of happiness and fun. Embarrassment at my size, coupled with my mobility issues and the fear of being the butt of people’s jokes, meant that I avoided contact with even the closest of friends. What a difference a year makes hey?!

I think that 2013 is a bit of a transitional year for me. I have begun to get my mojo back and am starting to feel that I can take on the world. So whilst I won’t be prancing around Yamouth in a string bikini, I will be having fun…and hope that the theme of fun continues throughout the year. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel – even though it is a still a distant pin-prick of light! My confidence levels are rising and I am starting to feel worthy again. In fact, some guy in Asda car park was throwing looks at me earlier, and boy was I ready to take him on if he even dared comment! The ‘poor-me’ person would have just hung her head and not made eye contact, but I stared at him, with raised eyebrows and a withering look on my face, until he felt uncomfortable and looked away…I am not going to be messed with now. Poor guy; he was probably just eyeing up Freddie Freelander and had some paranoid fat-bird giving him evils – haha!

Twelve months seems like a long time, but it bloody flies by; summer 2014 will be here before we know it, and I want to be able to look back at this blog post and compare progress next year…so I am going to set out a little list of the goals I have in mind for the next twelve months and see how many I can tick off the list. Some of these are goals that I am really close to already…some are a bit of a stretch! As I am a fan of ticking things off lists, this might be a long one…

1. Lose 200lbs
2. Drive Freddie without the steering wheel touching my tummy
3. Be able to comfortably wear my seatbelt
4. Reach my halfway point – 227lbs lost – 16st 3lbs off
5. Be able to take my niece into school on my own and my nephew to nursery
6. Take my horse for a walk around the village, on foot
7. Walk the loop at Inchcree Falls near Onich, Scotland
8. Get under the 25st marker point…the lowest I can remember being in years…at least 8 years!
9. Get under the 20st marker point…a toughie…but that’s my aim for the next 12 months
10. Walk the Nevis woods trail
11. Be able to do a 30 minute BodyPump session standing up
12. Walk a mile unaided without stopping for a rest
13. Have a ride on my Mum’s mare
14. Brave a swimming pool – or more to the point, a swimsuit!
15. To be fit enough to join a gym
16. Be able to do the Christmas shopping in shops rather than online
17. To go into Asda on my own and do a big food shop
18. Go to the cinema
19. Take part in Race for Life
20. Have a weekend away…on a plane…scared of flying and not fitting into the seats, so this is a biggie!
21. Be able to buy clothes from Evans / Simply Be…’normal’ plus size places instead of men’s plus size places!

Well, what a list?! As I said, some are closer than others, some are designed to stretch my psychological comfort zones, and some are designed to stretch my fitness levels. I think I have enough to be working on for now.

I am excited but scared about what the future might hold. Will I like the skinnier me? What the hell will I look like – I haven’t been under 18st since I was fifteen years old, so have no idea! Will I go back to my old career, or try something new? What hairdo will I have? What clothes will I like…I have been so restricted in my choices for years! One thing I really hope is that I still enjoy horse riding…my other half will not be pleased if I don’t like after these past few years of rearing expensive lawnmowers! ;-) One thing that I know is that I will be healthier, and that I will have some many more options open to me than I did at 43st+…oooh, the excitement!

Right then, I had best move onto today’s usuals before I start making that goal list any longer…

Last night was really muggy and warm and so sleep eluded me for ages! I had the window open but as I live just off a dual-carriage way on the main route into the city, it gets noisy from 4.30am…so that’s what time I woke up. I tried to doze but wasn’t really successful, yet when the alarm went off at 7.30am I did not want to get up at all. I got a nudge, same as yesterday morning, so just got up and got ready to get on the treadmill. Poor treadmill, I was giving that evil looks too this morning! I then worked on the project for my other half for a few hours, finished my workout and then we went to see the horses. My Welsh lad was feeling in need of attention, and he also needed his flymask putting on as he was getting bothered by all sorts of flying things, so I did that in the field whilst he had a good scratch on me; we then had a cuddle and I left him looking a bit bored…he headed off to cause trouble and chase the others around! It was then off to Asda for today’s supplies and home, although I did pop in to see my sister and my Mum…my Mum’s car was outside her house when I got home, so I thought it would be nice to catch up. It has been a quiet afternoon and my Sky TV box is on the blink so we have no TV-related entertainment. I cut right back when I decided to crack this weight loss, as I knew I wouldn’t return to work for a while and needed to cut down on our monthly bills. So Sky TV went, but we paid to access certain channels through the Sky box…it seems my plan has failed and I might have to relent…I just begrudge paying to watch TV though really considering the amount advertisers spend…and that I only like old re-runs of NCIS! ;-) So a quiet night for me is on the horizon!

P.S. I also made a new YouTube video of me discussing my ‘under 30st’ milestone this afternoon – if you fancy a look then just click here!

Breakfast: Banana and two Alpen light bars (6 syns).

20130621-153149.jpgLunch: Uncle Bens golden veg rice (2.5 syns) and superfree leftover veggies.

20130621-153243.jpgDinner: Fakeaway kebabs (2 x HEB), chips, halloumi (2 x HEA) and salad.

20130621-195837.jpgSnacks: Packet of Snack a Jacks (4.5 syns).

20130621-185906.jpgBrekkie was the usual, but I synned the bars as I knew I was having kebabs and wanted two pittas for my dinner! Lunch was lovely – a combo of leftover veggies from the dinner last night – which had broccoli, onions, mushrooms, tomatoes, pepper, spinach, garlic, herbs and tomato purée in it – and rice. Dinner was a favourite of mine, my fakeaway kebabs! Quorn lamb strips fried off with onion, spinach and pepper, pittas, halloumi cheese, salad and syn free chips…there was a lot of it, most of which was salad and veggies, but I was a bit of a bloater and finished the lot! ;-)

Exercise: 4 x 15 minute treadmill sessions and 15 minutes of BodyPump.

It was another tick in the box for my exercise today. I managed to squeeze in a 15 minute session before I had to begin helping my other half with his project, and so decided to go for three more sessions of the same length. I love that I can now do this many…a few weeks ago, one was all I managed!

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful weekend,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

  

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