Gosh – I am so stuffed! We had a wonderful BBQ this afternoon but I feel really bloated, despite not going as overboard as I used to. It was a lovely afternoon. My friend came, my Mum was there, my Dad and his partner, my sister and her hubby and the kids…complete with their water pistols!
In fact, I haven’t yet dried out…I think that because I was one of the only ones who laughed when I got soaked, I became a friendly target! We began blowing the paddling pool up just after they arrived, only to find it had a hole, so we had to go and get a new one or else we would have had toddler tantrums. Once the new pool was up and full, it kept them entertained all afternoon.
Pony rides were also included, although my brave nephew decided that he didn’t want to ride after all despite his promises – he has good self-preservation and is naturally cautious around the horses. My niece rode up to the field on our Shetland, for the first time without being held on…she couldn’t have been more excited!
As ever with BBQs, there was far too much food and we came home with chicken and steak and salad and rolls…BBQ food for the next few days then. It was all Slimming World friendly, and delicious, but with all of that food on display I find myself eating more than I would…it’s ‘all you can eat buffet syndrome’! I wondered if I was the only one who does this, but I already know that a lot of people overeat at them…when else would you really have steak, chicken, sausage, burger, rice, salad and potatoes in one meal? Never really – unless you are a greedy git!
I read an article the other day that made me chuckle. It was written by Ami Angelowicz & Winona Dimeo-Edigerall about BBQ blunders, and vowing not to commit them…some of them are quite funny and reminiscent of my BBQs, so I thought I would share them with you…
1. Run screaming away from wasps. It’s hard to believe the old “they’re more afraid of you then you are of them” adage, but it’s probably true. Time to stop let the thought of getting stung turn you into a shrieking freak. This is a favourite pastime of my other half…I have spent many a meal in a pub garden eating alone, whilst he runs around waving his arms about like a man possessed! Luckily today we only had flies to contend with…and my horse who kept putting his head on my shoulder…trying to convince me to give him the radish from the salad!
2. Drink too much beer in the sun and pass out. You must wait until the ride home to pass out. You must not do it in the middle of a game of Cranium. I don’t think I have ever committed this BBQ crime…although I do remember getting very tipsy on rum and coke whilst on a monster truck tour in the Caribbean…the combo of sun and drink put me off for life!
3. Hide inside/stay in the pool the whole time because you don’t like the way you look in your bathing suit. Maybe this was acceptable behavior when you were 13 and still going through puberty, but at this point it’s just narcissism. Nobody gives a crap what you look like in a bikini anymore. This is true…nobody really does care…doesn’t make it any easier though!
4. Eat the entire bowl of guacamole so you don’t have room for the pork roast. Appetisers are deadly when you’re waiting for the meat to smoke. Pace yourself. Hmmm…I am getting better at this one. I managed to put my bits on the plate and wait for the chicken to cook without picking. I can’t polish my BBQ halo just yet as I ate far too much.
5. Stay parked on a lounge chair and only talk to your friends. Mingle, people. Most of the people at my BBQs are family and friends and we all mingle anyway…plus, sunbathing is an important job…do what makes you happy I say!
6. Make out with that guy whose name you forgot. Good on you for mingling, but make sure you remember his name if you’re going to hump him behind the grill. Wowzers – what type of BBQs do Ami and Winona attend…the only thing you find behind our ‘grill’ is a stray sausage…and not a trouser sausage!
7. Sit on the sidelines while everyone else is playing dodgeball. Your head may have been a ball magnet in high school, but it’s time to move on. Shut up and play. Dodgeball…at a BBQ…surely the health and safety police would have something to say about that?! Our BBQs are just sedate sitting in deck chair kind of affairs…maybe that is the problem…I need dodgeball to work off a few burgers?!
8. Eat SO MUCH meat that you start getting meat sweats. We don’t know if this is a real thing or something that just happens to us when we eat too much meat in the sun. Now this is one that I can testify too…meat sweats…but also meat farts. Too much info, I know, but tonight is going to be smelly in the WLB house!
9. Dance so hard that you pull two tendons in your foot. Krumping may seem like the best idea at the time, but if you’ve been boozing, best be careful. Dancing?! What kind of crazy BBQs do they have in America…the only activity at ours is the rush to see who gets to take the leftovers home…and this is one activity that I could win Gold in.
10. Wear a shit ton of makeup. You always seem to forget that within a few hours your face will be running down your neck. Nah – makeup at BBQs and makeup at the gym just seem like an incredibly pointless exercise to me.
11. Forget to shake the mustard before you use it. The weird, yellow ooze is enough to put you off hot dogs forever. Or forgetting to screw the top on the ketchup and then shaking vigorously…epic fail!
12. Try to be pretty/attractive while eating ribs. Fuck that shit, you’ve just gotta dive in there and tear those things up. Too true…just get stuck in – ribs are a thing of the past for me now though
13. Leave your drink on a table filled with other red solo cups that look exactly like yours. Despite what you may tell yourself at the moment, you’re not going to remember which drink is yours. #theplacewheredrinksgotodie. Nothing else to add really…
14. Drink warm soda when all the ice in the cooler melts. That’s a life ruiner right there. It goes straight up your nose.
15. Wait for second batch of burgers. You know full well that the BBQ master is going to get too drunk to ever cook them and you will be left starving.
16. Jump in the inflatable kiddie pool for laughs. It won’t be so funny when you bruise your hip on a sprinkler system. Although I was in the paddling pool today and it was great fun…so go and enjoy!
There we have it then – BBQ life according to Ami and Winona…
Other than the above BBQ antics, today has been very quiet. I spent time prepping for the event, eating at the event, and clearing up after the event! This evening is going to be nice and quiet I think…I am in a food stupor – it doesn’t feel good, but I have no guilt as I know it won’t set me off on a binge.
Breakfast: Apple, banana and an orange.
Exercise: 2 x 15 minute treadmill sessions.
I decided to switch my non-rest rest day to today instead of tomorrow due to the BBQ. The heat was awful this morning though…it is so much harder to get going when it is hot.
I hope that you have a wonderful week ahead…
Weight Loss Bitch xxx