talkhealth Blog

Staying in bed probably would have been my best option today. For some reason I seem to have developed an ‘I hate the world’ mood overnight! Everything and everyone is irritating me today – I have no idea why I feel this way…actually, I think I might do…

My foot is sore. A little simple issue such as a sore foot has caused me to behave like a dick! I do have other issues – finances, career stuff etc – but the foot thing has knocked me a bit. When I get it into my head that I have to exercise on certain days, and achieve certain things, I feel as if I am failing myself and those around me if I don’t do it. I panic that I will slowly slip back into my old ways. Obviously, I need to give myself a slap – I have achieved so much and need to give myself a bit of a break…if I can start exercising again next week, I doubt that six days off will have made much of an impact physically. It is the mental aspect that gets to me.

I know that there are people who will think that I am just a moaning old mare…I am well aware that I am doing well, but we all get these days! As this blog was started to record the ups and downs…well, you can either stick with my moaning or come back tomorrow!

The feeling of being in control of my eating and my exercise is great. I do not advocate a ‘total control’ method as I think that this can cause problems too, but finally gaining a hold on my life – which felt as if it was slipping from my grip – feels good. So when I can’t achieve my plan of action it freaks me out a little. I get into that ‘sod it’ mentality – I want to hide, stay in bed, not eat properly…today has been mentally tough.

Every food advert has had me having conversations with myself! I have been trying to convince myself that I don’t want that new nacho burger from KFC, or an ice cream cone from Burger King, or the new Haagen Dazs chocolate melty stuff…I am going to start a campaign for the ability to select the advertising you get shown! No alcohol, ciggies, or junk food on my TV – it would make days like this a hell of a lot easier.

I have also been irritated with hearing about exercise achievements today. Twitter is great for motivation, but when you see people tweeting their run times, or how may reps they have done, on a day when you have done nothing…well, it makes you feel like a lazy cow!

As I am typing this, my favourite advert has just come on – the Southern Comfort one with the guy walking on the beach…quality…always makes me smile!

Anyway, I will cut my moaning short for the night. Except for one last mini rant about poor old Kate and Wills. I do like a bit of Royal Family news. I am not a proper fan, but neither am I a hater! However I was really peed off with the focus of OK Magazine on the baby weight loss. She has only just had her baby, and needs to spend time bonding…not fecking worrying about getting rid of something she should be proud of! That tummy helped nurture and protect her child…how dare people make her feel conscious about it. I never buy the magazine anyway, but if I did then I certainly wouldn’t be on this occasion! Plus, Kate had a fantastically athletic figure before her pregnancy, and is likely to get back in shape without any pressure from anyone else…but if she choses to keep her mum tum for a while, then she should be allowed to do so without it being highlighted! Argh – makes me mental this focus on looks…if her and her family are healthy and happy then this is all that matters.

Right then – today…

Well today has mostly been spent with me moaning…no great update. I did some project work this morning, headed to the horses, went to Asda and then came home and moaned. At one point, my other half said, “You’re quite an opinionated little soul, aren’t you?!”…which was his way of telling me to stop the moaning! He can be tactful at times…but it is rare. He has learnt that the direct approach is best with me. This evening I had a bit of an emergency mission related to family and the house clearance of my other half’s Nan…not long home and sitting down to dinner at 10.30pm, which is not great!

Breakfast: Two Alpen light bars (1 x HEB) and strawberries.

Lunch: Spanish omelette topped with cheese (2 x HEA).

Dinner: Quorn curry with veggie rice (7 syns).

Snacks: Pitta stuffed with mixed beans (1 x HEB and 4.5 syns).

Breakfast drama – no banana – so strawberries came to the rescue! Lunch was created to use up some leftover potato from last nights dinner – a Spanish omelette it was. Onion, yellow pepper, mushrooms, spinach and cherry tomatoes were fried off, eggs added and then when it was popped under the grill the cheese had to go on – an omelette without cheese seems pointless to me! My other half wanted to create a Chinese style curry, so I thought that the chip shop curry sauce might help. We had loads of veggies – mushrooms, onions, red and green pepper, spinach, tomatoes and peas, added some Quorn chicken style pieces and then cooked this before adding some sauce. The rice was a Batchelors veggie one and was lovely. My snack was a bit too healthy really – mixed beans stuffed into a wholemeal pitta…a far cry from the BigMac that I would have chosen last year! The mixed beans were from Asda – minty bean salad – and it is 4.5 syns a tub…I ate too many beans though…I think that I may be trumping all night. The moral of that story is that the beans serve way more than one greedy girl!

Exercise: None!

I am hoping that my enforced rest break will mean that I can be up and running again for Monday…yes, I could easily do weights sitting down, but my mojo has disappeared as I feel guilty over not being able to walk. Stupid logic really – as any movement is good movement! I told you that I wasn’t in a good place today.

Thank you for putting up with me…

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

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WeightLossBitch

On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!