Is your willy bigger than my willy? Why do they poo in their beds? Why do you put the horse food in the bin? Do they like vegetarian sausages then if they don’t eat meat like me? Oh the joys of a three year old and the barrage of questions he threw our way…obviously the penis one was aimed at my other half and not me…hopefully!
The three year old in question was my other half’s nephew – we haven’t seen him in a while. Him and his parents were travelling back up North from a visit to the South coast and decided to visit us enroute. We arranged a little picnic, filled the paddling pool and warned the horses to be on their best behaviour.
I adore kids. I never used to though really – I have never had that burning desire to be a parent myself, although I would love to help kids in need…hence my aim of becoming a foster carer. There are so many kids in need of a secure and supportive environment, so I don’t feel the need to bring my own into the world when there are plenty out there to nurture already!
When I get asked all of these questions, it makes me chuckle. It also makes me question things…as if I have just taken stuff for granted and I wonder at what point you just become so used to things being as they are that you stop questioning them. So I spent most of my afternoon answering questions – horses don’t wear pants because we can’t find nappies big enough…but carriage driving horses can have slings behind them which catch the poo! My other half wasn’t quite sure how to answer the willy question, but said that as he was taller, it was likely that he had the bigger willy…not one to dispute this, I kept quiet! Explaining that the horses poo in their beds as the doors are closed at night didn’t go down very well, and I now have concerns that he may try behaving like a horse this evening! The horses food goes in the bin because of the rats…why do the rats like the horses food? That was another question to deal with! And the vegetarian sausage one was rather inspired I thought…as I had spent all afternoon describing how the horses were like his stegosaur who was a herbivore. As his Dad is a vegetarian he is well versed in the joys of veggie foods and thinks that the horses might like the veggie sausages after all!
I think it was Albert Einstein that said, “The most important thing is to not stop questioning.” Kids ask endless questions and I love it, I really do. It makes my mind work and trying to see life through their eyes is ace! Having a questioning mind is something that I am trying to redevelop – challenging the status quo. We often have our creativity and genius moments stamped out of us by people who tell us that our ideas are ‘stupid’ or that they ‘will never work’. There is a little quote by an inventor and incredibly creative guy – Buckminster Fuller – which describes this process…“All children are born geniuses; 9,999 out of every 10,000 are swiftly, inadvertently degeniusised by grownups.” And it’s true! How many of you have had your ideas crushed…even as adults in the workplace? I will save the workplace stuff for another blog post though – all about motivation!
Eventually, the questions stop – we become less interested in things that aren’t within our little cocoon of life…we don’t care for much else other than the day to day routine. We are told to focus, to concentrate, to get on with the task at hand…so we stop focusing on things that make us lose that focus! We got told to stop asking questions, or worse still, we were told that our questions are stupid…and as we are taught that stupid is not a good thing, we stop asking as we don’t want the risk of being embarrassed in front of others. This means that we stop taking risks full stop – what if we lose, or mess up…that’s embarrassing surely? As for being honest…hmmm…I remember being asked by an old boss if I liked working for her or not, and when I said that it was ‘challenging’ she nearly hit the roof…and ‘challenging’ was the highly moderated version of the truth! I then went on to witness people asking colleagues what they thought was wrong with the company…only to be met by a wall of silence. You just simply don’t answer those questions, do you? Who wants to face sniggers from fellow colleagues, or who wants to be fast-tracked towards their P45?
Time plays a role here too. We have such busy lives that stopping to question things just doesn’t come into it…we operate on autopilot most of the time. I remember driving home from work on quite a few occasions and wondering how the hell I got there! We are so rushed, and have so much to fit in each day – we have a war between efficiency and effectiveness.
How do you expect to get better if you don’t ask questions though? There are many more ways than just the one to get a job done…another approach…another explanation. Don’t just accept that it is what it is at times. If I had just shrugged my shoulders last year and accepted what I was being told, without questioning and seeking alternatives, I would be on the operating table next month with a mechanic ‘fixing’ my eating issues. Although we all know that what he would be doing for me personally is the equivalent of kicking a tyre…or a ‘cut and shut’ job!
Think about it in business terms for a second. Most small organisations experience rapid growth. The culture within such companies mean that people feel free to suggest things…they aren’t weighed down with that, ‘that isn’t the way we do things here’, mentality. Smaller companies seem to encourage the extreme, or the risk-taking at times. I am not suggesting that risk-taking is a good thing all of the time…but being brave and trying to make some changes, by asking yourself why you do the things you do all of the time, can be a good thing. I don’t like the word ‘empowering’ for some reason, but it is quite empowering!
Some of my lightbulb moments relating to weight loss have come when talking to my niece. She will ask me how I got so fat, what did I eat, why did I do it, was it hard being fat when I was little…the list is endless! She also pointed out that I waddled like a penguin and told me that I looked like I ‘had a baby in there’…from the mouths of babes! Seriously though, spending time with the innocence of youth is great. Seeing the world from their perspective and answering those seemingly simple questions really helped me to focus on the basics. Why was I looking for a ‘magic’ cure when the answer was so straightforward…I just needed to ask the right questions.
Possibly telling you to go and find a kid to talk to you might land both you and I in hot water! But spend time with your children, or your nieces and nephews, or friends children…take a fresh look at all of those things you take for granted. Ask them questions and let them question you…use your perspective to help them and visa versa. If this isn’t possible, then get together with your most trusted friend and have a deep and meaningful chat with them – about your beliefs…or the vast subject of the meaning of life. My other half and I have some incredibly weird and wonderful conversations – strange even…the last one being about what if life really is like the ‘Matrix’…and what if we are all being watched like they are in ‘Person of Interest’! These conversations can help to widen your viewpoint, and work well if a group of you get together – a group with different cultural backgrounds. Be warned though; the answers often leave you with more questions…and so the cycle repeats!
My recent foray into the world of philosophy helped me too. I am still on a big learning curve with it all, but am enjoying asking questions that I never thought about. It does drive me a little mad at times though, I must admit, as I like quick answers so that I can take action! But encourage yourself, and those around you, to ask questions. Even if you disagree with people it can be fun thrashing it out…agreeing to disagree is something that I know I need to work on!
Remember the truth and honesty part though. If you ask a question, be prepared for the answer. Ask for the whole truth and deal with it when you get it; and when you are asked a question do the same – tactfully in some instances! Don’t hold back, share – it can be quite cathartic! Don’t discourage curiosity, or creativity (but not lies!), or questioning…let yourself return to your childhood ways – open, honest and questioning. You might be surprised what happens!
Right then – the usuals…
Today was another early morning with more exercise, project work, more exercise…lots of sweat and a bit of moaning! I didn’t want to get going this morning, but had to and so gave myself a kick up the bum. Other than the family time, during which this happened…
…my beloved lost his birthday cake thanks to his nephew dropping it on the floor, it was a fairly quiet and sedate day. We got out of the heat as quickly as we could to be honest! Tonight will be nice and relaxing hopefully…if my new next-door-but-one neighbours do something about their dog, who seems to bark at fresh air and likes to be let out at midnight and again at 5am!
Breakfast: Banana and two Alpen light bars (1 x HEB).
Today’s food has been lovely – especially dinner! Brekkie was the norm, and lunch was leftover pasta from last night with a nice bean salad from Asda…which is syn free without the dressing. Dinner was a pack of Uncle Bens mushroom rice (2 syns) with added onion, green beans, mushrooms and spinach, with my LowLow stirred through…and beetroot salad, which I wasn’t sure would work together, but actually tasted lovely. The risotto was the loveliest dinner I have had in a while and I will definitely be making it again!
Exercise: 4 x 15 minute treadmill sessions and 1 x 15 minute BodyPump / Swiss Ball session.
Another day of reminding myself that sweat is just fat crying! This heat is great for the soul and vitamin D levels but bloody hell, it isn’t half making life difficult. I just feel as if everything is slower and so much more of an effort…it is worth it though.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx