For the first time in 37 weeks I had a gain on the scales! A little gain of 1.5lbs…but a gain is a gain!
I think that the most frustrating thing is the fact that I really wanted to get my 15.5st award in time for meeting Jessie Pavelka…but I will just have to get that next week before he comes to my second event!
If I could pinpoint why I had put the weight on, then I wouldn’t give it a second thought. And let me state that I am not too concerned…I am not in danger of going off the rails and binging for Britain, nor did I head to McDonalds after weigh in to drown my sorrows in saturated fat! Nor do I have any plans to change anything at all this coming week…I know that I stick to the plan, I eat substantial meals, I eat my superfree, I very rarely go over my syns and am varying them, I drink at least 2 litres of water each day and only water most of the time…I know the plan inside out and I am honest enough to hold my hands up if I have ballsed up! If next week on the scales isn’t kinder, then I will have a closer look at things but, for now, it is just business as usual as far as I am concerned. 
Don’t get me wrong though, I did sit and try and pinpoint what it might have been. Was it the exercise I did? Well, I only did three hours of walking really and, although it tired me out, I doubt that it would have been shocking enough to my body to warrant an exercise related gain. Was it the little tub of ice-cream I had? Well, that was 14 syns and I hadn’t eaten syns that day…so it shouldn’t have been. Was it the raisins I ate which pushed my blood sugar levels up a little? Again, well within my syns…so not likely. Did I drink enough water? At least 2 litres each day! Had I been for a big poo…lovely…but yes! 
Had I been for a wee…yes, twice this morning!
The only thing that I can think of is that I have been travelling around in the car for the past two days and it has been a bit cramped…so my circulation might not have been great and I might have retained water. But that is the only sliver of a reason and it contains too many ‘mights’ for my liking…it isn’t enough of a reason for me to worry about, and certainly isn’t something that I can rectify. I don’t need to draw a line in the sand, or to start tomorrow afresh…as nothing has really gone wrong.
I always knew that trying to lose 32st+ was going to be a challenge. Especially choosing the ‘never going to be achieveable for someone of your size’ option (according to my hospital consultants!) – they would prefer me popping pills or having my stomach and intestines cut and shut…something that I refuse to do. My dietician warned me that this would be a tough road to head down. She told me that I would hit plateaus on a regular basis and that my body would need to replenish the muscle and bone density that it loses – that we all lose – when we are losing weight. So maybe this is one of those weeks…who knows? My body is a weird (very weird) and wonderful thing and I just need to let it do it’s thing whilst I do mine…which is to carry on as normal and follow a healthy eating plan that I know works and that I believe in!
At the end of the day, I have still lost 15st 3lbs…which is fantastic and not something that I really believed I could do this time last year. And I was also Slimmer of the Month too…despite the gain, so I must be doing something right?!
Group today was entertaining as usual…and Pizza Lady was up to her tricks again. This time, she was shocked by the number of syns in gravy…despite my consultant regularly taking about sauces and condiments and the hidden syns in them. She also told me that I should have eaten the Bakewell Tart that I drooled over yesterday…but got a bit of a reprimand from the consultant! Obviously, that isn’t a helpful comment and nor does it help people to feel that their decision to forgo the foods that aren’t helpful to weightloss is the right one…especially when they have had a gain. She was only joking, but sometimes she just doesn’t engage her brain before opening her mouth…
Which is what happened when my consultant admitted to being accosted whilst leafleting by a current member of hers. She walked off down the street to the sound of her member saying that the current consultant is no good and had only started a few months ago – joking, and referring to my consultant…Pizza Lady said, “Really, which consultant? She is no good and already giving up but only started in April?!”…despite my consultant keeping us updated on the progress of her new group. I would love to see inside the mind of Pizza Lady! We are all very patient with her and supportive, but I do wonder what she hears in group that we don’t hear…or rather what we hear that she clearly doesn’t!
A chap in group, who comes to ours on one shift and then other groups, wondered why apple pie was so high in syns when it was just apples. I hope that he was kidding, but I have a feeling that he wasn’t…he was sat next to Pizza Lady and I am truly concerned about the process of osmosis…I won’t be sitting next to either of them in case their way of thinking seeps into my brain!
One of my favourite ladies in group called me over at the end. She had bought me a top in that she was given as a present but had never worn – it was a lovely pink top…I was quite touched! We had been taking a few weeks ago about the fact that I wasn’t really sure what size I was anymore. I was wearing a size 8XL t-shirt on my first night in group…but that now looks like a tent. Yet the other 8XL tops I wear fit. I also wore a size 36 top from Simply Be the other day. So she offered to bring in one of hers for me to try…yet bought me this new one to have. She is such a lovely lady – full of soul and character! I am going to have a think about what I can do as a ‘thank you’.
I stayed behind to talk to a lovely lady who I saw crying in group whilst she was talking to my consultant. She is really nice, usually comes to the earlier group, but had been in our group a few times. She has various medical problems and other life worries at the moment and feels that her eating is spiralling out of control. Like me, she hid away for so many years and feels that she is moving back towards that again. We had a chat – I gave her a big hug which made her cry again…oops – and I said that although it probably wasn’t what she wanted to hear, the only thing that she could control at the moment was her eating…the other stuff is beyond her control. We talked for a while and I told her that if she wanted to chat then she could always call me…I hate to see people so upset, especially when I have been in that position so many times and can empathise. I really hope that she has a good week and I would genuinely swap any loss coming my way with her next week so that she could get back on track. Yet we all know that, despite the support, we have to do this ourselves!
So that was my day really. Other than a trip to the horses, the shops, and a quick ‘hello’ to the kids, I have been a bit too relaxed really! Tonight will see more Jack Bauer action I think…and then not a lot of action from me, but hopefully lots of sleep!
Breakfast: Banana.
Lunch: Two Quorn chicken and herb salad batches (2 x HEB).
Dinner: Quorn roast dinner (2 x HEA and 4 syns).
Snacks: French Fries (24 syns).
My food today was good! The usual banana before weigh in – maybe that big boy was the culprit?! Followed by some lovely batches with the Quorn chicken style slices and a herb salad…I love the herb salad – so tasty! Dinner was a lovely roast with Quorn fillets, broccoli and cauliflower cheese which was just made with a tub of LowLow (2 x HEB or 12 syns) poured over it. I then used some of the runner beans that I was given in group today with some carrots, potatoes and roasted red onion…you can’t beat a good roast dinner.
Exercise: None…apart from blackberry picking and I doubt that this counts as I will eat the fruits of my labour!
Thank you for reading…and I hope that the diet fairies are good to you this week!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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