Goodness me…the UK thinks that it has a problem with teenage hoodies and gangs…what about grouchy barsteward old men with a bad attitude?!
Some of you may have heard of the tale of ‘Blackberry Man’…who keeps creeping into my garden and onto my land to pinch my blackberries. For those that haven’t, that’s pretty much what he does! A good few weeks ago, I mentioned to my other half that I was going to harvest the blackberries – they are fresh and lovely and superfree…and cost a bloody fortune to buy at the supermarket. However, just a few short minutes after I made this comment, there was a knock at the door which my other half answered. I could hear snippets of the conversation and didn’t like what I heard!
My usually wonderful other half had told this chap, who had asked if he could pick the blackberries, to “help yourself mate”. Needless to say, there was a bit of a discussion…enough of a discussion so that it remained in my other half’s mind, so much so that the next time this chap knocked on the door asking the same question, he was told that I wanted the blackberries and that it wasn’t okay for him to come onto my property to pick them.
I did feel a bit guilty, and explained to my other half that there was a happy medium – this chap could pick them all and let me have half, or he could pick half and leave the rest for me. So bear in mind that I do feel guilt and am not that selfish really!
However, the cheeky bugger keeps sneaking into the garden! Well, he isn’t so much sneaking, as trampling all over the fecking thing in broad daylight. I let it go on the first few occasions, laughing at how funny it was that he had asked, been told no, but did it anyway – why fecking ask?!
Today, I noticed that he was back and I sat there giggling again. I had already picked a decent bowl this morning and there were only the ones amongst piles of thorns, or the scabby ones that looked like they had fox and dog wee on them. I watched him – secretly through my blinds (who said neighbourhood watch was dead?!) – for about ten minutes before he disappeared. I had a little laughing rant with my other half, who also agrees that this chap is a cheeky bugger, and got on with my work – an assignment about food combining if you’re interested in what I was up to!
He only then bloody came back again! So I watched him a little longer, and again had an amusing ranty exchange with my other half. Neither of us particularly wanted to go out there and make him feel bad by catching him red-handed, but neither of us really appreciate this guy being in our garden…we are private souls when we are home and like our sanctuary. The old bugger kept picking, and as he was doing this he was trampling over the bushes and generally being a nuisance…plus he was looking through the blinds at the same time…nosey git! I left him to it though…live and let live as I always say.
Until he came back again that was – complete with gardening gloves, a big bucket and secateurs! By this point in time I was speechless…I sat watching him hack away at the bushes in our garden! I couldn’t let this go, so told my other half that I was going outside to tell the chap that I had sprayed weed killer on the bushes, so to be careful…I couldn’t think of anything less confrontational to say really! My other half went and hid upstairs for some reason – I think that he could see my eyes flashing – but all I wanted was for this guy to bugger off away from my house.
So I calmly opened the front door and said, “Excuse me, be careful with those as I sprayed the bushes with weed killer.” Wrongly assuming that he would apologies for trespassing and leave it be…thankful that I had warned him so that he didn’t poison himself. How silly could I be? He decided to get all caveman and kind of swept his arms out in one of those movements that people do when they are shouting things like, “Come on then!”, and said, “When? When did you spray them?”. I was quite taken aback by his aggressive reaction, which immediately made me see red!
“This morning”, I said. “Well what did you do that for?”, he shouted. “Because it is my garden, my land, and I don’t want it covered in thorns”, was my response. He then proceeded to argue that the driveway at the side of my house was public right of way…fair point…but it is on my deeds as my land, I just have to allow access – which is a bit fecking difficult if it is overgrown with brambles…as I pointed out. He wasn’t listening to reason, and by this point in time there were a few twitching curtains and a couple of onlookers.
He then accused me of being selfish! “Selfish in exactly what way, Sir?!” I said – well I kind of screamed at this point. I cannot tell you how angry I was – over fecking blackberries of all things!
He was so aggressive – I couldn’t believe it. If I had been told that, I would be grateful to the person for letting me know…and I would also be a tad embarrassed that despite being asked not to, I was trespassing and removing property off someone else’s land – a tad extreme…blackberries are probably the property of nature…but try walking into Asda, sticking some in a bucket and walking off without paying…I think they would be as pissed off as I was!
Seriously, I was more angry about the exchange than the blackberries. If I knew a blackberry farmer, I would get them to dump a tonne of the fecking things on his lawn! After arguing over my deeds and land entitlement, he finally decided to call it a day, walking away angrily muttering obscenities along the way. I was not much better and shouted, “Eat the fecking blackberries…I hope they give you the shites!”…never a good look…where is that composure and control I aim for?!
It was quite amusing really. All I wanted was peace and quiet without people trampling in my garden…and all I got was an argument with a dude with attitude. I have stewed about it all afternoon, so I am afraid that I had to share it with you…I need to get it out there.
Considering that I shied away from people for a long time – hiding in my house, fearing what people would say about me – I have certainly given the neighbours some gossip fodder! I am fed up of people, or my thoughts about what they might say or do, affecting my life – and this includes people who pick my fecking blackberries! So I am on a mission to say what I think and do what I need to do regardless of my fears.
Right then, the usuals…
Other than the blackberry antics, it has been sedate-ish today! I am really struggling to sleep – I can’t get comfortable, I can’t settle…then when the alarm goes off, I want to sleep but can’t…so I suppose maybe lack of sleep could have contributed to my blackberry blues! I have managed to complete another assignment, go and pick up my meds, see the horse, head to Aldi and Asda, and then babysit all afternoon…which I am still doing as I type – I have just checked on them and they are sleeping like little angels!
Breakfast: 0% Total Greek yogurt with blackberries, blueberries, banana and fig.
Another bloody tasty food day! Brekkie was inspired by the figs I tried at the Pavelka Day – Aldi have them on offer on the Super 6 this week…very nice! So I bought some of the 0% Greek yogurt, sliced a banana, used some non-dog wee blackberries, some blueberries and a quartered fig…it was delicious. Lunch was my epic burgers – a stack of salad, gherkins, cheese and burgers all wrapped up in a bun of loveliness! Dinner was a veggie pie – ratatouille and mixed beans with spinach, topped with roasted and then mashed sweet potato and normal potato, served with carrots and broccoli. My snacks were needed whilst babysitting…energy levels are quickly consumed by children!
Exercise: Not much has been exercised other than my mouth today really!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx