I have a dilemma…and it relates to hairiness!
Before you jump to conclusions about bristly bushes and beards – of which I have both – haha! – my dilemma is mainly concerning the horses. I will talk about my hairiness though…
The delights of PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) combined with the dark hair I have means that I have hair trauma on a regular basis. My Tweezerman tweezers – and the little mirror they make that lights up – are my best friend! I can regularly be found plucking my chin in the local Asda carpark…the light there is fabulous…goodbye 5 o’clock shadow…hello curious onlookers!
There are other downsides to PCOS – an increase in the likelihood of developing endometrial cancer (which I had), depression, non-alcoholic fatty liver disease…sounds charming, doesn’t it? Of all of these issues though, the one that causes the most problems and concerns for me is the hairiness. In the UK we are obsessed about being hair free and so it is a constant source of pressure.
But hey, I am hairy – deal with it! I am not quite at the ‘bearded lady in a circus’ stage but if I ever get to achieve my dream of living on the Shetland Isles, I might just let it all grow…it will keep me warm!
I have had many hairiness-related incidents. The most amusing was probably the beautician in the gym, who was cruising for business and staring intently at gym-goers as they entered reception. I clocked what she was up to, so stuck my head down, only to be greeted with the following, “You’ll be interested in hair removal treatments, won’t you madam?”. “Whatever gave you that idea?”, was my challenge to her…as I said, she was cruising for business, not cruising for a bruising, and so had the sense to look sheepish and keep schtum!
My other half calls me ‘Super Mario’ when I break out my hair removal cream for my upper lip – as it does resemble a rather cartoon like, well proportioned, moustache. It just makes me chuckle…we have no privacy in this house and we very quickly became accustomed to sharing delights such as this.
Probably the cringeworthy-ist (if that is even a word) moment was when I had my first boyfriend at the grand old age of 19! The PCOS, which was not diagnosed until a couple of years ago, very kindly treated me to a hairy stomach – of which I was embarrassed about. Irrespective of the fatness, it was the hairiness that I was most concerned about…after all, he could clearly see that I was fat – there was one moment when we were in bed together when he grabbed what he thought was a boob and said, “I love your boobs”…my response, “Well you need to grab the next bit up then!”…as he was clutching the fat roll under my boobs at the time!
Anyway, the embarrassing and cringeworthy hair story was that I decided to slather myself in Immac (now known as Veet!) to try and deal with this problem. I was living with my Dad at the time, in a two up two down terrace that had the bathroom downstairs. Immac-ing my bikini area and stomach was an issue…I kind of had to lie with a cushion under my bum and just squeeze the tube, spread it around, and hope for the best. As I lay there on my bed, spread eagle, covered in cream that smells a little eggy, with my pubic region stuck right in the air, I heard a noise downstairs. My fecking Dad and his girlfriend had only come home early and were shouting me to come and see what they had bought.
Shit!!!! Was the thought that ran through my mind. I quickly scraped as much of the cream off as I could, wiped the rest away with a sock that I found on the floor (it’s not only men that use socks for personal reasons!) and stuck some clothes on. This was not supposed to happen! They kept me talking for ages, so long in fact that my skin had an allergic reaction as I hadn’t washed the cream off properly, and I was patchier than a fecking patchwork quilt. Needless to say, I just let nature run its course now – and it isn’t really that hairy…I just wanted to impress this chap with my baby bum smoothness.
It turns out that he liked the hairier persuasion after all though…he came ‘out’ a few years ago and his boyfriend was of the very hirsute variety. Fecking typical!
Anyway, I have digressed in a rather embarrassing and ‘too much information’ manner…the horses were supposed to be the topic of conversation.
I have found a huge field for the horses to live in this winter. It means that I can give their current grazing a nice break and also means that they don’t have to be stabled at night. They much prefer to be outside, roaming and playing, but will come in happily when they are in a small, muddy field with not much to do – which has been the case for the past couple of winters.
The dilemma I have is regarding their rugs. My horses are not clipped, so all grow a thick winter coat that keeps them warm. Add to this the natural grease that they have in their coats, and they end up with a fairly waterproof and warm layer that nature gave them. However, there is quite a lot of pressure in the horsey world to pile rugs on them to keep them warm…and I usually cave in and do the same.
I hate sitting at home on a dark winters evening, with the rain pelting down, thinking of them out there getting all wet and cold whilst have my fluffy socks on, a hot chocolate in one hand and the TV remote in the other! But this is me anthropomorphising my bloody horses…they aren’t like us humans…and they don’t really need a rug…especially when they aren’t clipped – which is something that will happen eventually when they are in work.
So I am having an internal conversation that keeps going backwards and forwards in my mind – to rug, or not to rug?!
There are a few logistical issues with the rugs – such as they need to be reset and straightened each day, and you need to check underneath them to make sure that they aren’t rubbing or creating pressure points. Given that I am moving them into a huge field, I cannot guarantee that they will want to come and see me each day for this to happen! Although I am sure that they will…I just have visions of me traipsing around a huge field, which is on a mammoth hill, in the rain and mud, trying to catch a fecking horse that has a strap undone on its rug.
Plus, what about those beautiful winter mornings when it actually gets quite warm? What if they overheat? At least if they have no rugs on, they can move around to warm up.
I think I am convincing myself to leave them rugless. They are hardy native breeds – a Welsh Cob who was born on a mountain side in Wales, a Shetland who was born in Shetland…no, he wasn’t really, he was born in Northamptonshire somewhere…not exactly renowned for Shetland-like weather. Then I have my two big Spanish Normans who turn into wooly bears in winter…I often like to cuddle them to steal some of their body warmth when it’s really cold.
Thank you for reading my ramblings…writing it down has made it clear that I am going to attempt a rug-free winter and see how it goes. This winter is going to be a doddle – last year we had mucking out, feeding, haynets, field hay, water, rug changes…this year, we will just have a field check and water to sort, as they should have plenty of grass to see them through the winter. My other half is already jumping for joy, as he was my stable-hand last year!
Right then, the usuals…
Today has been good. I finally managed to finish my nutrition diploma and sent all of the material back to them…I have a few weeks to wait before I get a result apparently. I got a good night of sleep and so have been in quite a good mood! My morning went fairly quick and then I met up with my Mum and a friend for lunch…my friend is going to horse-sit whilst I am on holiday, which gives me peace of mind as she is great with horses and I know that they will be in safe hands. It was a long and leisurely lunch, so Mum and I quickly popped to see the horses afterwards and then my other half walked the dog to Asda and we met there for today’s supplies. After this, it was a quiet afternoon…with me looking forward to some Jack Bauer tonight!
Breakfast: Porridge with blueberries and banana (1 x HEB).
A good food day. Brekkie was lovely and filling, lunch was the best option on a Green day from the pub menu…although it did come with flipping coleslaw which I hadn’t thought of. I held the butter, so that was good, and just left the creamy stuff to one side of the plate. Dinner was good – I love cheesy onion mash! The veggies were just fry sprayed and put in the wok – courgette, pepper, mushroom and tomato.
Exercise: Nowt – I must get my exercise mojo back. I am awaiting dates for my fitness tests, so am looking forward to the peace of mind that they will hopefully give.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx