Not much to report today. Day 2 was a bit of a disaster – the aftermath of drinking red wine the evening before has taken its toll. Well it was his birthday and we did have a lovely evening, but things are itchy today as a result. Yesterday was worse. A handover and headache – don’t feel sorry for me, it was all self inflicted. We were just about to leave the pub after a sensible amount of drink and lovely quiet night by the roaring wood burning stove and chatting to the locals when an old friend arrived… well you can’t just leave someone alone in a bar can you?
So we did the decent thing and joined Bruce for a drink, and another… it was a good night but too much wine not only gives me a hangover but seriously dehydrates my skin, making any itching ten times worse. My fault I know. One day I will be grown up enough to order a glass of water.
Yesterday I had lots of herbal tea, oat cakes, two huge mugs of coffee with lots of brown sugar (processed I know, I know) and lots of water and a horrible vitamin C fizzy drink. For lunch we had some fried bacon and egg (the bacon probably has some kind of preservative in it…). The plans all went wrong for the evening tea, the gluten free and dairy free fish fingers were just what I needed, with petit pois and sweet potato cakes I had made previously and frozen. Fish fingers, even gluten and dairy free ones are most definitely processed!
Am trying to get back on track today and sticking to the plan.
Porridge for breakfast with oat milk and a mug of redbush tea so going well so far today.
What I’m finding hardest is avoiding the stuff in the freezer and cupboards which are freefrom, but which I know make my skin itch. Even freefrom stuff with seemingly safe ingredient lists seem to now make me itch. I’m trying to pinpoint which nasty ingredient it is. We are not sure at all yet.
Why can’t I just not eat them? What on earth is wrong with me? I must be thick or something. If the temptation is there in the cupboard it is so much harder to avoid. Especially when I know it’s not going to give me any kind of dangerous allergic reaction or anaphylaxis – I know it’s just the intolerable itch, but the itch is awful. It drives me insane and I get hives, lumps and nodular prurigo. Infuriating.
I am considering throwing out some of the frozen cakes etc. which I know make me itchy but part of me can’t stand the waste. I bought a job lot of Fria gluten free food which is all really lovely but because they add back in the de glutenised wheat I think this is why I have a problem with it. But I don’t like to throw out good food… but if I eat it I will suffer, just to avoid waste? That’s crazy. Mr What Allergy has been helping to eat some of it, as it all does taste really good these days. If anyone can help me and take some frozen Fria chocolate muffins and cinammon buns off my hands you can have them. You would be doing me a huge favour.
But this morning as I ate my porridge, watching out of the corner of my eye the lovely thick slice of wheat toast, covered in butter and marmite the HE was eating, I was so insanely jealous. I could have eaten his arm off to get at that toast.
I need to get to a place where I am happy with this life. Happy to eat only healthy food. And not craving the food I cannot eat because these thoughts are not helpful.
I’m hoping it will get easier and that in time the jealousy will pass. That I will be content with a life avoiding alcohol and all processed foods. I will be healthier as a result and hopefully will get a good night’s sleep.
And so today, I am tired from the scratching and itching so am having a nice lazy, quiet day, reading, writing and building my love affair with good food. I can do this.
For lunch I have some left over chicken stir fry in the fridge which is just organic chicken with carrots, onions, cabbage, pepper etc.
For our evening meal I am making some home-
made humous to have with raw veg sticks and a couple of pieces fruit.
The most important thing I am doing is keeping a detailed food diary, to see, whether I can work out which foods are causing this amazing itch. It could be that egg for Saturday lunch was a bad idea but it tasted good, so good. I always cook my eggs through quite well, not runny. But if the egg intolerance is playing a part it could be that this might present an itchy problem. Or it could be that after a week of no processed food the itch begins to decrease. That is my hope.
And I think when the itch abates the whole process will be so much easier.
Wish me luck. Any tips on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. The next blog post will be some rules, to stick to, if you too want to go processed food free. I need to set the rules in writing because I’m finding this really hard without.