Today has been wonderful…I have done absolutely nothing!
Every now and again I will ask my Mum to be on horse duty for the day, so that my other half and I can have a day of nothingness. Today was one of those days, and we had planned it earlier in the week…and were looking forward to it.
Last night was a late one – we didn’t make it to bed until the early hours – so it will come as no surprise to hear that we got up later than usual…a whole 4.5 hours later than usual! My other half couldn’t believe it when I woke him up and told him it was midday. I had been awake for a few hours, but just lay there thinking and planning.
My thinking and planning sometimes gets me in a pickle. I am having one of those moments in my life when I am not sure what the best course of action to take is. It all relates to my job – or current lack of – and what I should do with my life really…profound stuff for a lazy day I thought!
I have spoken before about how my career gave me a sense of identity – it gave me direction, it gave me a decent income, but it also gave me lots of stress and pressure that, quite frankly, I don’t want and didn’t cope well with. Although I like pressure, I had no idea how to deal with it other than to turn to food. The result was a 43st+ body and a mind that needed reorganising and sorting out.
Now that my head is doing okay, and that I am down to 26st+, I am starting to wonder what the world has in store for me. I know that I would like to help people who have been in my position – and given my work background, and the coaching stuff I am doing at the moment, I will be in a good position to do this from an ‘educational’ perspective. Given my struggles and life experience, I will be in a bloody excellent position to do this!
This kind of work though doesn’t bring with it a great deal of security. I remember going through major work issues and being so bloody scared to do anything about it for fear of losing my job and not being able to pay for my mortgage. I feared that I would lose almost everything – material possessions aside – I didn’t want to lose my horses, or my self-worth…which is what I thought work gave me at that time.
Fast forward a couple of years and we have coped okay with a £45k drop in wages. It makes me think that ‘we’ – my other half and I – are stronger that we gave ourselves credit for. It also makes me incredibly grateful for the supportive family and friends that I have.
So I came to the conclusion – the same one I always reach during these periods of indecision – that I do want to help other people, regardless of the insecurity this might being. The reward of helping people to realise that they can achieve a healthy body and mind will far outweigh any days spent worrying about money!
When I say I did ‘nothing’ today, I guess I was underestimating the power of thought. Time spent on ‘me, or indeed on ‘you’, is time well spent. I reassured myself that the course of action I am taking is the right one. I gave myself some time to think. It’s not often that we get such time.
My next ‘me’ time is going to be spent looking at identifying some goals for the coming months. I am excited to do this. I think goals give great direction and focus. Mum might have to do horse duties for me on a monthly basis so I can get some more thinking time!
Other than my ponderings about the future, I managed to read a couple of magazines, a few chapters of a great book I am reading – which is ironically all about giving yourself time to think! – and just have some time with my other half and my dog being all cosy and warm…and no, I didn’t get out of my pyjamas all day – it was bliss!
A lovely food day. Just bananas for brekkie as I was up late and knew it wouldn’t be long before lunch! Lunch was my lovely sardine melts – a tin of sardines in tomato sauce mixed with chopped red onion. This was put on top of spinach which was on top of toasted wholemeal rolls. I then put some cherry tomatoes on top and melted my cheese over it. It really tastes lovely and is a budget method of getting an oily fish portion in! Dinner was also lovely – roasted butternut squash, with a roasted red onion, turkey steak, herb salad and stuffed mushrooms. I usually use the garlic and herb Philli but they only had the sweet chilli stuff at Asda…so it was this that I stuffed the mushrooms with. I synned my Philli as I had already used my HEAs. My evening snack was a gorgeous Nakd bar along with some pineapple fingers and yogurt…lush!
Exercise: Not a sausage.
Thank you for reading – I hope you have a wonderful week,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx