Back in late September, or early October it might have been, my consultant set a little challenge.
We had a card with a Christmas tree, on which there were 14 baubles, which we were to colour in each time we lost 1lb. Despite having a tough time at the moment, I ended up with these little rewards…
This time of year is hard for losers…so I have been told! For me, it’s business as usual – but I do understand…I was full of excuses. I even created an excuse for someone else today when talking with my other half. I explained that they were struggling at this time of year and had other ‘issues’ too…which reminded me of a little piece I wrote earlier in the year; and I thought that I would share it with you again…
It seems that there is always a reason not to crack on and get healthy. Something stops us from taking the plunge, and that same something then becomes our excuse for not doing well. So I thought I would give you a taste of ‘Weight Loss Bitch’ excuses – with a little poetic license – across the year, for not just getting stuck in and sticking with it…
Now this tends to be a rather good month – it’s a fresh new year and I’m full of motivation! But wait, what about all of that leftover Christmas food…I’m halfway through a giant box of Hotel Chocolat, I still have a tub of Haribo left, family bags of McCoys and Penn State pretzels…not to mention the cheese board. Cheese, cheese, wonderful cheese! I can’t possibly throw it out, so I’ll eat it all and then start my health kick. Weird logic though – I mean, my wheelie bin won’t get fat, but my arse will – and either way you look at it, the food has been wasted. It might be halfway through the month before I consider rejoining a Slimming World group or going to the gym…or even maybe just taking the dog for a walk.
Another good month – we’ve usually had a bit of snow, and I LOVE snow! It turns me into a child again and, as long as I know I can get back up again, you might find me making a snow angel on the floor somewhere. But the cold weather does make you crave comfort food – thick, rich, gravy laden stews, and don’t forget the soup complete with gorgeous stodgy dumplings! Damn! It’s Mums birthday this month, so that’s a nice meal out, plus a share of her chocolates too. And my brother in laws birthday – we usually have a huge takeaway feast…lovely, but I’m stuffed! It’s Shrove Tuesday…and we all know what that means. Stacks of pancakes with syrup, chocolate, nuts, sugar – cheese if you’re a savoury head – and both if you’re greedy. And then of course it’s that wonderful day of romance, which isn’t complete without a romantic – and calorific – candle lit meal, a box of luxury chocolates, and a cute bear; the bear is okay…I wouldn’t eat that unless I was in a real munchie mood. So that’s another two weigh ins ruined…I’m now back to my original starting weight and it’s nearly March
The weather is getting better and at the first hint of a sunny day, the BBQ comes out…along with the picnic blanket. But if I stick to a ‘red’ day, I can do a decent BBQ. I do struggle to resist sandwiches, scotch eggs and pork pies though, so the picnic is a bit difficult and I dread getting on the scales. And then it’s Mothers Day – which involves buying chocolates for Mum…and sharing them with her of course, as well as buying a box for me, just because! We won’t mention the huge meal we ate too…that Yorkshire pudding was the size of a barge but it went down quicker than a bobsleigh goes down an icy track! March isn’t a bad month though.
Easter! I love Easter…I remember my Dad hiding the eggs around the house for us to find and it brings back happy memories. And have you tried the Malteasers bunnies – they are delicious! Oh, and then there are Mini Eggs, Caramel Eggs, hot cross buns – with butter – and that hot cross bun marmalade custard bake that Dad makes…mmmm! Plus it’s time for the school holidays so that means more outings with the kids…meals out, picnics…tough times. Annoyed, as the weight I managed to lose last month has gone back on, so I’m still no lighter than I was when I started!
Now I can really get going – nothing is going to stop me! The weather is good, the horses are out 24/7 so that means no early morning mucking out sessions, and life is wonderful. So are the two bank holidays – I love these extra days spending time with the family. We might go to the park, grab an ice cream, take a picnic – loving the cheese sandwiches and the farm shop pork pie…it tastes delicious! But the two bank holidays came at a price…I ended up staying the same.
My birthday month – and my sisters too – so exciting! I know I’ll get spoiled…nice meal, chocolates…I usually treat myself to a birth-week…total enjoyment for a week. All my favourite treats (foodie heaven) and lots of them! The meal out for my sisters birthday was fabulous; we got a three course deal at the lovely country pub we use…their food is great, the portions are huge and their triple chocolate delight is lush! Needless to say, weigh ins this month weren’t going well…I even skipped a couple of sessions as I knew I hadn’t done well.
School holidays – all of the entertaining can be so draining…drives you to the biscuit tin and the post-child-bedtime wine bottle! Plus, I’m off on an all inclusive to the Caribbean and, having been there before, I am dreading the irresistible Danish breakfast pastries…I cannot resist them, or the full cooked breakfast! The Mexican food at the beach bar is delicious…cheese drenched enchiladas and chicken fajitas with fries and guacamole. Dinners are great there too…so many choices, I generally have a dollop of everything. I was planning on doing loads of swimming, but something brushed past my leg in the sea, so I decided just to sunbathe instead…the seatbelt on the plane home is tighter – and I am already using an extender!
Needless to say, the post-holiday weigh in results were not good – how the hell did I manage to put on a stone? I know shouldn’t have done it, but I ordered a Chinese as I was depressed, and then ate the leftovers for breakfast…which gave me a taste for ‘naughty’ food – so it was McDonalds for lunch and a pizza for dinner. I’ll never lose this weight. A big family BBQ has been arranged this weekend, and I’m feeling awful as I told everyone I was going to lose this weight once and for all…but I’m a couple of pounds heavier than when I started! I’m doing a lot of babysitting for my sister as well, and it’s stressing me out – and I find myself picking at the kids leftovers too now. I am really stressed about my friends wedding this weekend, as I’ve got nothing to wear – I just end up getting drunk, eating loads of buffet food, and grabbing a takeaway on the way home. I’ll cut right back on my syns all week to compensate, as there was also the hen night damage I did…no shiny stickers for me this month.
Wow…how quickly is this year going? The kids are back at school though, so I’ll finally get some ‘me’ time! But then the nights will start drawing in soon – so much for this prolonged summer they kept talking about. Thoughts about gorgeous roast dinners, soups and stews creep into my head – all accompanied by piles of crusty bread and lashings of butter! The kids have started stressing me out again…they’ve already ruined their school shoes, a pair of new trainers have been lost along with a mobile phone, and money is just so tight! Healthy food can be so expensive, so the junk starts to creep back in…and I start to run out of group after just weighing in.
Halloween and half-term…more of those bloody treat-sized chocolate bars lying around, as I always buy too many for the ‘trick or treat-ers’. The problem with the little bars is that I can fit a whole one in my mouth in one go! And, unfortunately, one is never enough. I’ve started to feel the cold too – and found a gorgeous hot chocolate drink made from fresh chocolate flakes…and can’t resist topping it with marshmallows. I can’t wait for half-term to finish…we’ve had sleepovers with pizza meal deals, and a huge Chinese – I feel so sluggish, and this colder weather isn’t helping.
I adore bonfire night and have always had a fascination with fireworks – I love them! So we arrange a huge party, complete with hotdogs, burgers, sticky toffee apples, toffee, and huge mugs of my luxury hot chocolate. I stick the leftovers in the fridge…I always make too much, but I’m sure it will all get eaten. These dark nights are really getting to me – I feel like eating comfort food…and can’t resist it! I try so hard, but I just can’t do it! And anyway, what’s the point – Christmas is coming up and I’ve got all of that stress to cope with…I may as well just forget the diet and start again next year. I’m over a stone heavier than I was in January though…so depressing…the only thing that will cheer me up is a family bag of McCoys and a packet of those new biscuits that fecking panda advertises on TV.
Well, it’s Christmas of course! We always go all out for Christmas. There is so much food, it looks like we could survive a war…tins of chocolates – and Haribo for the other half – crisps, mixed nuts, cheeses…so much of it all! And our Christmas tradition is a huge meal on Christmas Eve, croissants for breakfast, and a massive dinner, with a huge buffet for tea. We do this all again on Boxing Day too! The leftovers see us well into the new year. And that lovely dress I bought to slim down into for Christmas…it’s still hanging up in the wardrobe…and probably won’t be in fashion when I finally lose weight – or the moths will have eaten it! Oh well, I can start again in January.
So that’s it then folks – life can be a bugger…losing weight is hard, but being fat and unhealthy is harder! There is always an excuse for not losing weight – you hear them in group every week…I had a cold, the kids were off school, it was my birthday, my friends birthday, a hen night, a spa weekend, a nice mini break in a hotel…JUST STOP!…
…FIND A WAY – NOT AN EXCUSE!
No one ever said it was going to be easy, but it’s far easier to lose weight now and make a change to better your future, than to keep getting fatter and letting someone deal with planning your funeral.
There we go then…that was a nice reminder of a post I wrote back in February. Needless to say that these excuses did not find a way into my life in 2013. There will always be something that gets in the way – and some of the reasons can be valid. My argument now is that the majority of time the one and only thing that you do have control of is your food…so make the right choice! Talking about right choices, check out what I had for bloody breakfast…
Breakfast: Leftover Thai green curry (2 syns).
The day got better…breakfast, and my inspired choice of Thai green curry, was not a great start. It was Slimming World friendly, and tasted great…but as a pre-workout fuelling session, it was not the best of choices. I really didn’t fancy heading to the gym after that lot! Lunch was good – another one of those ‘stick it all on’ jacket potato moments. Dinner was lush and so good after my swim – Quorn sausages with toasted wholemeal rolls and cheese, with some fried veggies with Cajun seasoning. My snacks were eaten before my evening swim as it had been a while since lunch and I didn’t want to come out of the pool to the smell of the chip shop down the road and get tempted!
Exercise: 5 minutes on the treadmill, 75 minutes of weights, 10 minutes on the elliptical machine, and 60 minutes of swimming.
If you didn’t see my excited Facebook update…I very nearly overtook someone in the swimming pool! Yes – me…I walk faster than I swim…I am incredibly slow…I get lapped by the octogenarians! I wimped out of the overtake manoeuvre though and opted for treading water as I didn’t want to get pool rage. This is the car equivalent of trying to overtake a slow driver who then speeds up, so you pull in again and then they slow down!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx