Goodness me – I am so bloody annoyed this evening it is crazy!

What I have been left pondering this evening is why the good people constantly get shat on…should I just start being a total bitch, or should I stick with my values and beliefs and remain a fairly decent person?

Of course, I wouldn’t compromise…but I can dream.

For those of you who saw my rant on Facebook earlier, this was in response to the chap who owns the land I am using to keep my horses on this winter. We have a small stable yard, but the grazing is poor and so, in addition to that, we are renting a field for five months. It’s a huge field and it’s great for the horses to live out…but this comes at a price, and this price is me biting my tongue and quite frankly, eating shit to keep the peace! ;-)

The chap who owns the land calls himself the ‘Custodian’…which should have given me an indication of the kind of guy he is. We knew he was a pain when we met him – or rather received his list of rules and regulations – but he then backed down over these when I challenged him, in order to get us there. It also saves us well over £1000 a month in hay and feed costs – as the grass is plenty to keep them happy and healthy – so in addition to them living out and loving it, they look great too.

The first issue was a series of emails about the padlock – I had left the numbers pointing left instead of right…and he likes to be able to see the numbers when he goes to the yard, despite me preferring to keep the numbers shielded and therefore more secure. This was followed up by emails about me using the ‘right’ sort of water buckets for his field…it’s not as if I haven’t grown up around horses or anything of course! ;-)

Then it was emails about not wanting hoof prints on the grass in the yard area…which we need to cross to get the horses out of the field – so of course they have just sat in the field all winter as we don’t want him giving us grief all of the time. Then it was an email about the ground getting churned by the water buckets – and honestly, there was so little churning that it almost looked like a bowling green! So he keeps moving the water buckets all over the 11 acre field – without letting me know – and I have to play hunt the troughs whilst carrying water to fill them up. Then the water in the storage unit ran out, and instead of offering to top it up from the farm he owns with all of those 4 x 4 little vehicles and water barrels…which he uses to fill the water supply when he keeps sheep in the field over the summer months…we have to now fill up containers at our old yard and drive it to the winter field, carry it across the first field by hand…as we can’t drive into the yard area as he won’t let us, even though his friends who visit park their cars in there, and finally find the water troughs before being able to top up!

Then it was electric fencing issues…despite the fact that he contractually agreed to put up and sort the fencing – we just have to energise it in two places (which meant me buying another new portable one at a significant cost!)…and now, today, the fencing is not working properly in two places apparently and he wants me to sort it – despite him having put it up inadequately…and has moved the water again and put in temporary fencing to keep the horses away from the churned gateway – which is not churned in the slightest and which I can walk through in trainers without any problems, rather than the usual wellies in most fields at this time of year. So not only has he moved the water again, and failed to fix his fencing, he has created another layer of fencing that puts the horses further away from our vehicle…in which we have to keep our horsey supplies as he won’t let us store anything there…so I have further to carry everything!

Oh, and the other day, the horses feet were trimmed and I was so worried about what he would say about the trimmings, that I picked them all up out of the field…even the tiny shavings you get, which took me absolutely ages…and he still commented about it. This is despite the fact that his partner owns a livery yard and they know the perils of land management and horses in the winter. How he had eight horses on the field last winter, I will never know…the fact that the owner of these horses is not there this winter should have given me a clue! :-)

He even watches us on CCTV when we are there!

Phew – and breathe – I am just at the end of my tether…and even considered loaning out the horses as I feel so inadequate at the moment.

I won’t let the bastard grind me down though. I just felt so angry and frustrated when I read his latest email. Do I take his crap for the sake of a couple more months and saving over £1000 each month…or do I cut my nose off to spite my face and move them back to our yard…which not only increases costs, but means that the horses need to come in at night and so greatly increases the workload in looking after them…and I think they are enjoying living out too! Plus, I don’t have a few grand sitting in my bank doing nothing to fill my barn with hay…and the last time I filled my barn with hay, some shitebag stole it!

Of course, I know that the answer is obvious, but it didn’t stop me composing a ‘dream’ email to send to him – be warned, do NOT read the next bit if you are of a sensitive disposition! In fact, if you are of a sensitive disposition, then you have probably already gone! ;-)

Oh, and he always starts his emails with the words ‘Due to’…so here goes…

‘Due to you being a total cunt, I have just unlocked the gate and welcomed in a team of dirt bike riders who are currently preparing a proper example of churned ground for you to look at via your CCTV camera.

On the subject of the CCTV camera, you can shove this up your arse, along with your poxy grazing…you Cunt of a Custodian!

As for the electric fencing…can I refer you to section 12, subsection 13.2, of your frankly rather lengthy contract for what is a simple five month winter field let…where you indicate that you are responsible for the electric fencing. Had you opened your fucking eyes when you were putting the fencing up, or even asked for some advice, then you would realise that your fence building methods are as shite as your interpersonal skills, if not worse – which is frankly quite hard to imagine. The fencing I put up earlier in the year has withstood severe gales despite being far more subject to the elements than the fencing you have erected. Remind me again, aren’t you a Master Builder…or is that a Masturbator?’

I did warn you! ;-)

Some people just bring out the absolute worst behaviour in me…behaviour that rarely even crosses my mind. Not wanting a medal or a violin accompaniment to my next statement or anything – but after spending the morning responding to emails from people asking for some help and advice around the ‘mind’ aspects of this weight loss malarkey, and then spending over two hours with the old lady down the road to keep her company, the last thing I wanted was a shitty email from a prick with an over-inflated ego which makes me feel like shite.

He has put me in a frame of mind that I do not like…I am having immense cravings for food – which is obviously just my desire to thrown a solid right hook his way manifesting itself in food emotions – and I am also questioning why I keep horses when I can’t bloody do anything with them…and my horses are my passion. So I am hoping that you can understand my frustrations and don’t just think that I am crazy!

And that’s it for tonight folks…I cannot think rationally this evening. I have not given in – and nor will I – to my food cravings…I might just get my boxing gloves and pads out and take out my frustrations that way. Other than the emails and messages to fellow ‘losers’, and my time with my old lady, I managed to fit in an aquafit session and a trip to the shops…and horses, bless them!

Breakfast: Banana porridge (5 syns).porridgetwoLunch: Tuna cottage cheese jacket potato.tunaDinner: Quorn meatballs, cheesy pasta and veggies (HEA).broccolitwoSnacks: Two mini Green & Blacks (7.5 syns) and a bowl of Covent Garden ‘skinny’ lentil soup (2 x HEB).snackstwoA bit of a ‘meh’ food day today. It’s been perfectly nice, but nothing has just quite hit the spot. Brekkie was my usual porridge sachet made with water and topped with bananas…and it does fill me up nicely for my workouts. Lunch was grabbed quickly before heading to the horses, and was plain tuna with cottage cheese and a jacket potato. My dinner was the broccoli and cheese Pasta’n’Sauce with cauliflower, broccoli and carrots, my HEA of cheese and the Quorn Swedish-style meatballs. I used my HEBs on a bowl of the new Covent Garden soup which I really like, and then had a bit of chocolate this evening. My mind is craving cheese and biscuits…so an early night is on the cards! ;-)

Exercise: 60 minutes of aquafit.

Thank you for reading…and my apologies for my demeanour this evening! :-)

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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