What a combination…when you giggle so hard that you fart! 
It’s been a tough week…a very tough week. I have been a bit hard on myself and getting a little fed up with the effort in vs weight off balance. Yet I know that life is good. If I look at what I can do now compared to my life of sitting on my chair and just existing, I absolutely cannot complain.
So I gave myself a mental kick up the arse and am getting my mojo firmly back in place. There is no alternative. I will not compromise and give in to quick fixes…my body would not thank me if I did that, and my mind certainly wouldn’t! I will absolutely not go back towards the life I had a year or two ago either. This is my way of life and if my body decides to lose weight a little slower than my self-imposed timescales, then so be it. Maybe it’s just getting revenge for the years of abuse I gave it?! 
In order to deal with my tough week I decided that it needed to be a feel-good weekend. It began with a lovely yet challenging pilates session, a visit to see the horses, and then an aquafit session. This was rather amusing…after last weeks aquafit class I had a message from a lovely lady which said, “I was in your aqua class.” She had been to one of the Slimming World talks I have done…but to be honest, there are so many faces there that it is hard to remember everyone, as much as I would really love to. I wish I had known she was there, as I would have said ‘hello’…I think she may have been there today as well, as I could see a couple of ladies looking over…and I would make a pretty good lip reader, as I could make out the words ‘weight loss bitch’. Please just come and say hello…don’t stay over the other side of the pool and talk about me as it makes me feel weird! Seriously, I love talking to people and don’t bite…just don’t get in the way of my leg kicks and spotty dog jumps!
I have made a nice dinner for the man himself and I…and we are going to watch a film later on…so it’s a quick post tonight.
To refer back to the fart and the giggling, I have to tell you how funny this mornings pilates session was. I adore it, and feel great afterwards…it kind of allows me to put my competitive self on the shelf for a while and just concentrate. You have to focus quite intently on the movements, so much so that you often forget that there is anyone else in the room.
Please don’t worry, it was not at this moment that I let rip!
First of all, Mr WLB made me giggle hysterically. As much as I adore him – and he knows this – he also knows how much his lack of co-ordination makes me laugh. He has given up aquafit now for fear of drowning himself. I am not sure how much longer I can continue dragging him to pilates either as he feels that he is the dunce of the group – his words, not mine. For example, you often have to work diagonal limbs – so left leg, right arm…right arm, left leg – he struggles with this a LOT.
I am used to these moments now and tend to just deal with it. He is bloody well out there doing stuff and for that I am immensely proud of him. Today however, he took it to a new level and pushed me to breaking point. We were lying on our stomachs and had to rest our forehead on the little foam blocks you use to keep your spine in alignment. I heard the instructor say, “Forehead”…and then she said it again, and again…and then she approached Mr WLB, at which point I looked at him and saw that he was resting his chin on it.
Well, I couldn’t contain myself…I just got the giggles. I managed not to make a sound, but my posture was buggered for a while and I kept shaking uncontrollably with silent giggles.
From this position we then moved into a kneeling stretch, at which point my giggle had created an air pocket under my lovely saggy stomach – yes, this is a peril of being a very fat WLB – and it kind of made a farting noise…like one of those ones they never show on porn movies!
I then got the giggles again and just prayed that nobody thought it was a bottom burp. Then I kind of hoped that they had thought it was a bottom burp for fear of what other explanation they might have conjured up in their minds!
So that’s the giggling and farting out of the way. Apart from hysterical laughter when Mr WLB and I were talking at home about the fact that he feels like the class clown. He said, “My knees were down when when everyone else’s were up…I was still working on perfecting the previous movement!” The instructor had been to pay him another visit at that point – I think she might start changing us more for him!
Tomorrow is a nice restful day with an evening spent with a comedian…so that will hopefully put a smile on my face.
My uncertainty over my exercise has been sorted too. I had a quick catch up with JP and he has told me to trust my instincts and my ‘feel’…and not to go for any high impact or HIIT stuff, which I said in last nights blog post that I wasn’t doing despite people telling me to. So I am on the right track and not doing too much!
Oooh – before I go…my pilates instructor has agreed that we could do a Weight Loss Bitch pilates session. Just a one-off event for people to come and try pilates in a ‘safe’ environment before finding a local class to go to. It would be held on a weekday, probably around lunch so that we could grab some food afterwards. I asked if I could do something like this as I had loads of messages from people saying that they would love to try it, but were too nervous and unsure. So if you do fancy joining me for a pilates session and some lunch, then email me – weightlossb1tch81@yahoo.com – it will be based in the West Midlands.
Breakfast: Cherries, banana and 0% Total Greek yogurt.
Lunch: Sardine melt (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).
Dinner: Steak with imam bayildi and roasted veggies.
Snacks: Mini Green & Blacks bars (12 syns).
A lovely food day – an Original day today. Brekkie was fruit and yogurt. Lunch was my lovely sardine melts…I mashed sardines with chopped red onion, chopped red pepper, sliced cherry tomatoes, Worcester sauce, chilli flakes and black pepper…placed this on top of spinach and my toasted rolls, and topped with cheese. Dinner was lush, and I will post the recipe for the imam bayildi on the Facebook page tomorrow. Steak, with roasted butternut squash, onion, mushrooms and red peppers, with stuffed aubergines and a cucumber and mint Greek yogurt. And my TV snacks for the evening are the mini chocolate bars.
Exercise: 60 minutes pilates and 60 minutes aquafit.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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