Literally tripping over it…my three year old nephew saw me this morning getting into my car to head to the hospital. “Why you trip over?”, he said in garbled toddler-speak…
…to which I replied, “I haven’t tripped over sweetpea, and I don’t plan on tripping either.” There is something reminiscent of the famous last words there and I should never have uttered them. My stupid Crocs – yes, fashion police…stone me now! – got kind of stuck on the floor of the hospital and my momentum carried me almost onto the lap of a man who was there with back pains. 24st 9lbs of WLB landing on you is not going to improve those back issues…thank goodness I managed to right myself…so the only injury was to my embarrassed pride…and probably to his now soiled underpants!
Once that bit of drama had been dealt with, I then faced the next bit. The time had to come to face the dietitian and once and for all to remove myself from the weight loss surgery list. I have spoken before about how being on the waiting list could be perceived by my mind as a ‘wolf at the door’…something spurring me on, a fear of surgery – or my own personal version of giving in. I have always told myself that I got myself into this mess, and therefore I wanted to be the one to get myself out of it.
So today was a big deal.
You also have to factor in the reason I was placed under the care of the weight loss surgery team – the fact that I couldn’t get an appointment with a psychologist unless I was referred to this particular group of professionals. I have been seeing various members of the said team for over six years now. It took four and half years before I got my first appointment with the psychologist – during which time I gained over 10st…but that’s another story. As is the fact that I searched desperately for one privately but could find nobody with the expertise in this field.
In an ideal world I would lose this weight without surgery, yet still have the support of the dietitian and the head man…and it seems that I now reside in my ideal world…finally!
Our conversation was great. She was professionally and personally interested in hearing how I had made these lifestyle changes. We talked about food, and my exercise, and how really that was never the issue – I always knew what I should be doing – but for some reason I was choosing not to do it. I couldn’t really pinpoint the change or the catalyst for the change – other than reaching rock bottom with no alternative than to take positive action…or die.
We discussed my exercise levels – which she thinks is absolutely fine. We discussed Pilates – which she now does instead of her military fit workouts! We discussed my food choices and our diets are now very similar – which could definitely not have been said about my love of junk food, as this lady is much more of a ‘clean’ eater. We even discussed some of the TV shows about food and our bodies that we had watched. She is a delight and I think she’s ace!
It was then time to try the body composition analysis machine…which didn’t seem to be passing my results through to the computer properly. I could see a few changes based on the numbers, but it is a a complex bit of kit which gives a tiny screen with about six readings, versus a computer screen with so many numbers and percentages. So I quickly hopped on the less complex machine which has given me a little printout – here it is……now, the numbers are still pretty shocking. But if I just remind you that when I started Slimming World my BMI was 95.1 and I was 276kgs, I am definitely making progress. I am going to keep hold of this slip and see if I can get back on that machine each time I see her again.
There was a moment of concern and panic when I felt my body preparing to faint. I am a strange beast and always get good warning – it’s almost as if I can feel the blood draining from my head downwards, my body goes cold and I start to sweat…and my head almost buzzes if that makes sense? So these symptoms began to occur and I said that I needed to sit down. The dietitian grabbed one of the diabetic nurses who took my blood sugar levels and got me some water…and a biscuit – bloody biscuit. I haven’t eaten a biscuit in such a long time – I would say at least eighteen months – but I was under strict instructions to eat. So I left two in the packet and just had the one solitary digestive biscuit…which I need to syn!
Once we had sorted me out and finished chatting I said, “Right then, how can you help me if I don’t have surgery?” To which she said, “I can still see you. You don’t have to have the surgery but the option is there if you need it, I can see you every three months.” I left with a smile on my face and a spring in my step…the spring was partly to ensure that my Crocs didn’t get stuck on the floor again, as I doubt that my body would have relieved me of embarrassment a second time in a day.
Although, I then crossed the road to pay for my parking and stepped on a manhole cover…which sunk down a couple of inches. Now any physicists amongst you will now that if you push down on something hard enough, pressure releases elsewhere – don’t quote me on that though…I only got a B in physics! That pressure in this instance was in the form of rainwater, which shot all over me. I was drenched head to foot in muddy gritty water and had to slosh my way to the car! I guess karma catches up with you eventually – I was saved a fall in front of a crowd only to be drenched with water witnessed by a few!
It was then time for group, which I always look forward to. This week the effort in vs weight loss result equation was far more satisfying, with a 3lbs loss. This takes my total loss to 18st 10.5lbs, leaving me 13st 9lbs left to lose…if my maths is correct…why can’t there just be 10lbs to a stone – it would be so much easier to calculate and count backwards!
I was thrilled to see an old member back who has been out of action after a knee operation. She managed to come back after four months away with a 0.5lbs loss – which is marvellous…and it was fabulous to have her back in group again. Pizza Lady was quiet today…no corkers to share. The lady I chatted to about Slimming World had a great second week…4lbs off in her first week and 5.5lbs off in her second week…she is thrilled to have found real food instead of the sugary Slim Fast rubbish.
My poor Mum is struggling a bit. She now comes to my group but is living amongst boxes and awaiting a moving date, and has a new mother and baby foster placement…with a newborn baby in her room at night – so she is getting no sleep and not focussing on her health at the moment. I am hoping that she realises how important she is to us all and starts to treat herself properly – with three good meals a day and healthy snacks. Okay Mum – the lecture is over now!
The rest of the day has been fairly sedate. I had a ‘moment’ earlier…I panicked over not going to my thirty minute aquafit class today. Given that I nearly fainted, I thought it might be nice to have a rest day as I doubt the poor teenage lifeguard would relish the thought of saving me from drowning. However I do not want to slip into the habit of skipping workouts and so got a bit touchy about it. I was firmly kicked – as requested – by my lovely Facebook crew and so decided that PJs and a bit of a break was deserved.
I didn’t, as mooted, head to bed for a brief duvet interlude…I prepared my food for university tomorrow and chopped veggies for tonight’s curry instead…which was fairly relaxing, but not quite as good as duvet time!
Here’s todays food…
Snack forced on me to stop me from eating: 1 small digestive biscuit! No picture as I was told to eat it to get myself sorted after my near faint!
Breakfast: Bananas.Lunch: Burgers (2 x HEA, 2 x HEB and 2 syns).
Dinner: Roast potatoes with bean and veggies curry.
Snacks: Crisps (30 syns).
My picture uploading is playing up again today – argh – I need some proper help with this blogging stuff I think! I do have the food pictures and so I will post them as soon as I can. Anyway, my food today has been lovely – a Green day. The unexpected biscuit threw a spanner in the works…but I was told that I needed it…I needed a biscuit! Lunch was my lovely Asda meatfree burgers with gherkins, cheese and tomatoes. Dinner was lush – a veggie curry with onion, mushrooms, tomatoes, peppers, courgette, spinach, madras powder, garlic and chilli – with roast potatoes. And my snacks took me over my syn limit…even my extra syn limit…but I rarely use extras during the week, so I will give myself a break!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx