There are two things that I am going to share with you today…one is a moral karma kind of thing, and the other is a what pisses me off kind of thing.
So first up is the very brief moral karma kind of thing. There I was sat in Freddie Freelander minding my own business. All of a sudden I spotted a man sauntering towards the van parked a few spaces up. He was happily eating a French stick. Not one with a filling, just a nice looking plain French stick. I say ‘eating’…he was devouring it. Half of the fecking thing had disappeared between Asda and his van…which is no mean feat considering the teeth ripping, jaw-ache induced agony he must have been experiencing!
I got jealous – very jealous. I wanted a bite of his baguette. I could have beaten him over the head with what was left. And that was when I happened to notice some of the contents of his carrier bag. Cadburys caramel giant buttons, McCoys crisps, and what looked like a bag of doughnuts. I got even more jealous! He also looked in good shape…which frankly made made things even worse.
That ‘why me’ moaning and whining voice started in my head. Why me? Why do I have to be fat? Why can’t I eat that food? Life’s not fecking fair!
It was at this exact moment in time that a bird evacuated it’s bowels right over my car. It splashed – yes, it was a splashy evacuation – all over the passenger side window and the sunroof…and even managed to white-wash my windscreen.
That right there is karma.
Stop wishing that you have something that someone else has…and fecking work for it!
Why me? How bloody stupid! I can’t eat this kind of food as I have had more than my fill of it. What that chap had in his hand and in that carrier bag would have been a mid-afternoon snack for me on an almost daily basis. This is ‘why me’ – this is why I can’t eat that food. Life is fair – I got what I deserved. I got incredibly fat because I ate food that made me incredibly fat. It’s quite simple really…you don’t get fat unless you are eating foods that make you fat! There are of course the exceptions to this rule…probably 0.00000000000001% of the population that has a rare medical condition. And don’t use the medication argument either…the medication doesn’t make you fat…the food you put in your mouth because the medication makes you crave it is what makes you fat!
So don’t think nasty thoughts…or else karma will literally shit on you!
This whining and moaning I was doing made me think about things that annoy me – other than my self-pitying inner voices.
From a Slimming World perspective, there are quite a few things that piss me off. I won’t broaden the remit tonight…I will stick with Slimming World ‘issues’ or else I will end up writing for days on end!
First of all, the thing that makes me so angry is when people say that you can eat as much as you want on Slimming World. It drives me fecking crazy. You absolutely cannot eat as much as you want. A trough of pasta is a no-no. Plates and plates of syn-free chips in an evening is unlikely to result in a weight loss. A whole chicken is just plain greedy (and I will admit that I have eaten a whole chicken on more than one occasion during previous Slimming World attempts!)
‘Eat to satisfy your appetite’ is what is written in the Slimming World book. Eat to satisfy your appetite – not your mind…not your emotions…not until you are ready to burst…not to have an eating competition with your Slimming World buddies.
I remember posting on Facebook about how I had eaten two plates of dinner one evening last year. It was quite greedy and I didn’t need it. I know that if I have a good breakfast, a good lunch, and a good dinner – and by ‘good’ I mean on-plan and a very decent-sized portion – that any additional hunger is in my mind. After writing about my two plates of dinner, I got lots of messages from people. The general theme was that it was absolutely fine as it was ‘free’ and ‘super free’ and therefore I could eat as much of it as I wanted.
Whilst I appreciate that Slimming World is not at all an eating plan that encourages deprivation and great restriction, two plates of dinner is a bit fecking greedy! I also appreciate that the plan aims to remove food guilt…and eating two plates of dinner once in a blue moon is nothing to get the guilts over. I just don’t think that this message of ‘unlimited’ or ‘eat as much as you want’ is helpful. I am so thankful that my amazing consultant doesn’t promote this message…I don’t think I could cope if she did!
Whether you like it or not, calories are important. Too many of them and you won’t shift your weight. Slimming World very cleverly help manage calorie intake through the structure of the plan. But when people misinterpret the ‘eat to satisfy your hunger’ this is where it goes wrong.
So this pisses me off – you simply cannot eat as much as you want. You have to eat as much as your body needs in order to fuel itself sufficiently…but not to the point of over-fuelling…or else you will continue to get fat!
The next area is a contentious one. Half syn cakes. They annoy me to the point that I could tear my hair out.
I will explain why! For me, if you are going to have a small slice of cake then enjoy a decent tasting piece of cake – something ‘proper’ and enjoyable…not something that tastes like an omelette and a jar of sweetener! And this is why I get annoyed. Despite what people may claim, if they have made a half-syn cake, they will be eating the fecking thing whole…to themselves…not the tiny sliver they tell you they had!
So they will have had breakfast, lunch, dinner, syns, healthy extras, and then a half-syn cake. Which takes me back to my first gripe about Slimming World and the excessiveness.
There is no weight loss method on earth that would advocate eating a whole cake. The danger for me in half-syn cakes is that you get used to eating a whole cake. What happens when you come off plan? Do you carry on making your half-syn cake…or do you end up buying a gorgeous carrot cake and devouring the lot as you are used to eating cakes whole?!
Go ahead and make a cake full of sweetener and eggs. Enjoy sharing it with your family…or whole if you like. But if I ever eat cake, I am going to enjoy each and every mouthful of my full-fat delicious ‘proper’ cake.
Next up on my hit-list are some items that I mentioned in a recent blog post. Syn-free roasted chickpeas, Doritos made with lasagne sheets, crisps made with thinly sliced potatoes, syn-free rice pudding, snacks of any kind made with stuff like Smash or mushed chickpeas…unless it forms part of a main meal.
I did explain my reasons for this, but I will reiterate. If you take the time to make these types of snacks, you will also have had a breakfast, a lunch, a dinner, your syns, your healthy extras…and now you are adding additional calories in the form of snack tweaks to the plan.
So a big bowl of roasted chickpeas – which are supposed to replace peanuts – or a big bowl of lasagne Doritos, or a big bowl of homemade crisps should actually be synned using the highest syn-value in the book. 100g of chickpeas would be 5.5 syns.
Could you really be arsed to stand and make these snack foods if you knew that you had to syn them?
If you prefer to make your snacks from scratch and are prepared to syn them, then go for it – nothing better than home-cooked snacks and knowing what is in them. There will also be people put there who eat this kind of thing and lose weight…in which case, go for it! But there will also be people out there – like the lady in my group who was eating a fair bit of the homemade rice pudding – as it’s ‘free’ and obviously you can eat as much of this as you want! – who miraculously kept staying the same or gaining and losing the same 0.5lbs. As soon as she stopped messing around with the tweaking, she started losing weight again. If your weight loss has stalled and you are a lover of these tweaks, then maybe try a week or two without them and see what happens.
And that is my final gripe. People who constantly tweak. I love a good fakeaway. I love trying to find Slimming World alternatives for those meals that I used to enjoy. Yet I have accepted that, if I truly want to change and lead a long and healthy life, there are certain things that just cannot be eaten. I heard of someone making a pork pie using Smash…and sausage rolls using Smash. Seriously?! The worry for me is that the mind never adapts to the new routine if you constantly tweak everything. And if you fail to adapt to the Slimming World way of eating and are used to ‘pork pie’ and ‘sausage rolls’ then you will be chomping on Melton Mowbray’s finest delights…or nipping into Greggs again, before you know it!
These gripes are mine. I don’t really care what you think of them. I don’t really care what you do. What I do care about is those people who sit there moaning and complaining that weight isn’t shifting…and then share ‘cheat’ recipes. It drives me fecking mental. Accept that the types of food you have been eating got you fat. Accept that in order to shift that fat you might need to not eat these types of foods…unless you have them in moderation and syn them.
Nothing in life is free as ‘they’ say…deal with it. Either work for that healthy life and body that you want…or sit at home making roasted chickpeas and deal with the fact that the scales might not move in the direction you are hoping for!
If this makes me sanctimonious and arrogant, then so be it. The approach I am taking is working for me. I didn’t try and go from a sinner to a saint overnight…but I didn’t try and kid myself along the way either. Unfortunately you have to change in order to see change…and, in general, people aren’t keen on change.
There are more gripes, but you have heard enough for one night I think!
Today has been great. We had a lazyish morning, headed to horses – where I reached the fence at the bottom of the hill, which needed fixing, on my bottom after slipping down it! Then we popped to the shops and headed home. My Dad called in to show off his new car – shiny BMW that I am hoping for an insurance add-on to drive! Some cleaning happened – which I hate…and then I sorted out all of my recipes and quotes for the week…which take hours…and then managed to fit in some reading. I love my reading and made sure I read something not related to weight loss or coaching…a nice Ian Rankin book. Tonight I am being coerced into watching some Mr WLB TV…I have no idea what yet, but he has promised a treat!
A lovely food day. I grabbed the bananas before heading to the horses as I needed to take my tablets. Lunch was a cooked brekkie – delicious! Dinner was good too – roast chicken and loads of veggies. My snack was lush. Pittas topped with veggies and cheese.
Exercise: Nothing much…apart from sliding down a hill on my bum in the mud!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx