Mind power!

14 Apr 2014

Wowzers! Today has been a tough old day in terms of food cravings. :-(

It has taken every ounce of my mind power to stay on track and not overeat.

Now I know that some would say that I can eat as much as I want on Slimming World. I am not of that opinion! ;-) It is my opinion that I can eat as much as my body needs. My body needs a decent breakfast, lunch, and dinner with an evening snack – in fact my evening snack was consumed mid-afternoon! ;-) My body does not need what my mind is craving.

So I have spent the day trying to distract myself. At one point I was watching Home and Away on the TV, Person of Interest on the iPad, and writing my assignment on my laptop…multitasking in order to keep my mind off food. And it worked, for a brief spell!

I chose distraction over mindfulness…which is strange for me as I usually like to try and focus on my feelings to work out what is bothering me. Therein lay the problem…I don’t think that anything was bothering me. I couldn’t pinpoint an emotion that I wanted to deal with using food.

The blame in this instance I think sits with Marks and Spencer. Their new Easter advert with hot-cross buns made my mouth water. Then there are the handmade eggs for adults…and the little pink piggy for children…I’d be happy to be either adult or child in this situation! :-)

The problem is, there is always an excuse to eat. At this time of year my mind goes into Hotel Chocolat overdrive! I know that I don’t need this food…but my mind often has an argument with me about it all. So today I have looked at my motivational jars, my visual progress board, holiday magazines, pictures of my horses…anything to keep me on the straight and narrow.

I could have just chosen to go to Asda and buy hot-cross buns and butter and eat. I could have chosen to buy an Easter egg – as Mr WLB did today – and eat it. But I have chosen to remain on track. As I was sat complaining about the unfairness of it all, I remembered an old blog post that I wrote…I wanted to share it with you, so here goes…

‘It seems that there is always a reason not to crack on and get healthy. Something stops us from taking the plunge, and that same something then becomes our excuse for not doing well. So I thought I would give you a taste of ‘Weight Loss Bitch’ excuses – with a little poetic license – across the year, for not just getting stuck in and sticking with it…

Now this tends to be a rather good month a it’s a fresh new year and I’m full of motivation! But wait, what about all of that leftover Christmas food…I’m halfway through a giant box of Hotel Chocolat, I still have a tub of Haribo left, family bags of McCoys and Penn State pretzels…not to mention the cheese board. Cheese, cheese, wonderful cheese! I can’t possibly throw it out, so I’ll eat it all and then start my health kick. Weird logic though – I mean, my wheelie bin won’t get fat, but my arse will – and either way you look at it, the food has been wasted. It might be halfway through the month before I consider rejoining a group or going to the gym…or even maybe just taking the dog for a walk.

Another good month – we’ve usually had a bit of snow, and I LOVE snow! It turns me into a child again and, as long as I know I can back up again, you might find me making a snow angel on the floor somewhere. But the cold weather does make you crave comfort food – thick, rich, gravy laden stews, and don’t forget the soup complete with gorgeous stodgy dumplings! Damn! Mums birthday this month, so that’s a nice meal out, plus a share of her chocolates too. And my brother in laws birthday too – we usually have a huge takeaway feast…lovely, but I’m stuffed! It’s Shrove Tuesday…and we all know what that means. Stacks of pancakes with syrup, chocolate, nuts, sugar – cheese if you’re a savoury head – and both if you’re greedy. And then of course it’s that wonderful day of romance, which isn’t complete without a romantic – and calorific – candle lit meal, a box of luxury chocolates, and a cute bear; the bear is okay…I wouldn’t eat that unless I was in a really munchie mood. So that’s another two weigh ins ruined…I’m now back to my original starting weight and it’s nearly March

The weather is getting better and at the first hint of a sunny day, the BBQ comes out…along with the picnic blanket. But if I stick to a ‘red’ day, I can do a decent BBQ. I do struggle to resist sandwiches, scotch eggs and pork pies though, so the picnic is a bit difficult and I dread getting on the scales. And then it’s Mothers Day – which involves buying chocolates for mum…and sharing them with her of course. We won’t mention the huge meal we ate too…that Yorkshire pudding was the size of a barge but it went down quicker than a bobsleigh does down an icy track! March isn’t a bad month though.

Easter! I love Easter…I remember my dad hiding the eggs around the house for us to find and it brings back happy memories. And have you tried the Malteasers bunnies – they are delicious! Oh, and then there are Mini Eggs, Caramel Eggs, hot cross buns – with butter – and that hot cross bun marmalade custard bake that dad makes…mmmm! Plus it’s time for the school holidays so that means more outings with the kids…meals out, picnics…tough times. Annoyed, as the weight I managed to lose last month has gone back on, so I’m still no lighter than I was when I started!

Now I can really get going – nothing is going to stop me! The weather is good, the horses are out 24/7 so that means no early morning mucking out sessions, and life is wonderful. So are the two bank holidays – love these extra days spending time with the family. We might go to the park, grab an ice cream, take a picnic – loving the cheese sandwiches and the farm shop pork pie…it tastes delicious! But the two bank holidays came at a price…I ended up staying the same

My birthday month – and my sisters too – so exciting! I know I’ll get spoiled…nice meal, chocolates…I usually treat myself to a birth-week…total enjoyment for a week. All my favourite treats (foodie heaven) and lots of them! The meal out for my sisters birthday was fabulous; we got a three course deal at the lovely country pub we use…their food is great, the portions are huge and their triple chocolate delight is lush! Needless to say, weigh ins this month weren’t going well…I even skipped a session as I knew I hadn’t done well.

School holidays – all of the entertaining can be so draining…drives you to the biscuit tin and the post-child-bedtime wine bottle! Plus, I’m off on an all inclusive to the Caribbean and, having been there before, I am dreading the irresistible Danish breakfast pastries…I cannot resist them, or the full cooked breakfast! The Mexican food at the beach bar is delicious…cheese drenched enchiladas and chicken fajitas with fries and guacamole. Dinners are great there too…so many choices, I generally have a dollop of everything. I was planning on doing loads of swimming, but something brushed past my leg in the sea, so I decided just to sunbathe instead…the seatbelt on the plane home is tighter – and I am already using an extender!

Needless to say, the post-holiday weigh in results were not good – how the hell did I manage to put on a stone? I know shouldn’t have done it, but I ordered a Chinese as I was depressed, and then ate the leftovers for breakfast…which gave me a taste for ‘naughty’ food – so it was McDonalds for lunch and a pizza for dinner. I’ll never lose this weight. A big family BBQ has been arranged this weekend, and I’m feeling awful as I told everyone I was going to lose this weight once and for all…but I’m a couple of pounds heavier than when I started! I’m doing a lot of babysitting for my sister as well, and it’s stressing me out – and I find myself picking at the kids leftovers too now. I am really stressed about my friends wedding this weekend, as I’ve got nothing to wear – I just end up getting drunk, eating loads of buffet food, and grabbing a takeaway on the way home. I’ll cut right back on my syns all week to compensate, as there was also the hen night damage I did…no shiny stickers for me this month.

Wow…how quickly is this year going? The kids are back at school though, so I’ll finally get some ‘me’ time! But then the nights will start drawing in soon – so much for this prolonged summer they kept talking about. Thoughts about gorgeous roast dinners, soups and stews creep into my head – all accompanied by piles of crusty bread and lashings of butter! The kids have started stressing me out again…they’ve already ruined their school shoes, a pair of new trainers have been lost along with a mobile phone, and money is just so tight! Healthy food can be so expensive, so the junk starts to creep back in…and I start to run out of group after just weighing in.

Halloween and half-term…more of those bloody treat sized chocolate bars lying around, as I always buy too many for the ‘trick or treat-ers’. The problem with the little bars is that I can fit a whole one in my mouth in one go! And, unfortunately, one is never enough. I’ve started to feel the cold too – and found a gorgeous hot chocolate drink made from fresh chocolate flakes…and can’t resist topping it with marshmallows. I can’t wait for half-term to finish…we’ve had sleepovers with pizza meal deals, and a huge Chinese – I feel so sluggish, and this colder weather isn’t helping.

I adore bonfire night and have always had a fascination with fireworks – I love them! So we arrange a huge party, complete with hotdogs, burgers, sticky toffee apples, toffee, and huge mugs of my luxury hot chocolate. I stick the leftovers in the fridge…I always make too much, but I’m sure it will all get eaten. These dark nights are really getting to me – I feel like eating comfort food…and can’t resist it! I try so hard, but I just can’t do it! And anyway, what’s the point – Christmas is coming up and I’ve got all of that stress to cope with…I may as well just forget the diet and start again next year. I’m over a stone heavier than I was in January though…so depressing…the only thing that will cheer me up is a family bag of McCoys and a packet of those new biscuits that panda advertises on TV.

Well, it’s Christmas of course! We always go all out for Christmas. There is so much food, it looks like we could survive a war…tins of chocolates – and Haribo for the other half – crisps, mixed nuts, cheeses…so much of it all! And our Christmas tradition is a huge meal on Christmas Eve, croissants for breakfast, and a massive dinner, with a huge buffet for tea. We do this all again on Boxing Day too! The leftovers see us well into the new year. And that lovely dress I bought to slim down into for Christmas…it’s still hanging up in the wardrobe…and probably won’t be in fashion when I finally lose weight – or the moths will have eaten it! Oh well, I can start again in January.’

Can you see why I wanted to share this with you? There is always a reason to eat something that doesn’t help you reach your goal. It’s fine if you choose to eat it…go ahead. But bloody well make sure that you enjoy it – ditch the guilt and get straight back on with the healthy eating. But if you recognise the above pattern of behaviour across the year then ditch the excuses and get on with it.

I think I am going to opt for an early night and will hopefully wake up without thoughts of Easter food! :-) The rest of the day has been okay. The horses were fine, we popped to the shops, I have prepped my food for tomorrow as I have a busy day and Slimming World talks in the evening. I made a start on my assignment but am not happy really. The subject is huge and I am used to writing far longer assignments. I find it hard to explain my thinking, give the critical analysis required, demonstrate practical application, and conclude…in 2500 words. But as the practical application is all that’s important to me, I think I might try and focus on this. After all, having the knowledge is one thing…applying it constructively is another!

Tomorrow is weigh-in day. I am 2.5lbs away from my 20st award. Recent history would indicate that I won’t get this award tomorrow…but I have played ball with my trainer and have reduced my workouts as requested. I am really secretly hoping – well, it’s not so secret now I guess! – but I would be thrilled if I could get that award tomorrow. Not least because my training review is due this week and if I get that award then I get a free training session! ;-)

Breakfast: Banana porridge (5 syns).

20140414-183618.jpgLunch: Smoked salmon scrambled eggs on toast (2 x HEB).

20140414-183653.jpgDinner: Mediterranean veggie and sardine melt (2 x HEA).

20140414-200423.jpgSnacks: Salted caramel HiFi bar (6 syns) and a packet of French Fries (4 syns).

20140414-183827.jpgAn okay food day. It was a toughie! My usual banana porridge for brekkie. Lunch was my favourite smoked salmon scrambled eggs with toasted rolls, wilted spinach, and cherry tomatoes. Dinner was roasted veggies – red onion, peppers, and courgette – with wilted spinach, topped with sardines, chilli flakes, mixed herbs, and cheese.

Exercise: Nothing but the mind exercised today! :-)

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

Add a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *