Not least because of this…
I know that I have had a good old moan about Easter food already this week, but it is getting to me today for some reason. And if I am being honest, it’s not just Easter food…any old food would do.
Saturday evenings of old involved lots of junk food and TV. For the most part, these were not good evenings I guess. They added weight that I didn’t need, filled my body with rubbish, and left me feeling ill – both physically and mentally. However, there were fun times too. Mr WLB and I would choose ‘nice’ food and have cosy evenings in together…and today I guess I wanted the freedom to go and shop – to pick anything I fancied and then sit in bed this evening watching a film and enjoying some grub.
Binging once, I feel, will be a slippery decline towards binging more regularly. Maybe once I am at target the odd evening of junk food wouldn’t hurt, but I am just not willing to take the risk…despite the occasional encouragement I get from people to just have a binge.
My Dads girlfriend asked me if a binge would do me any harm. She even said, “You might actually lose a load of weight.” Now, she was just trying to be supportive. She has history with Slimming World and weight loss in general…having lost and regained significant amounts on numerous occasions…at the moment, she is at the ‘regained’ stage. When I asked her if she would suggest to an alcoholic that one drink wouldn’t do them any harm, she had to agree that she would never say that.
At the moment, I can say that I have been binge-free for well over 18 months…and I plan on increasing rather than decreasing that period of time!
Despite the rational part of my mind knowing all of the above, I still often want this type of food…and I am not sure that this will ever go away. Some days are far easier than others…today has been a tough day. I have been remembering all of the reasons why I started. I have been reminding myself that food is fuel. I have been telling myself that food doesn’t solve problems…but created them for me. Yet the rational part of my mind and irrational part of my mind have been at odds about it all!
Preventing a binge is one thing…removing the urge totally is another.
I have made it through the day. I had a great Pilates session, I then went to see the horses, popped to Asda, and then headed over to see my Mums horse. We had a nice time together – I managed something that I had never done before…a walk over to the big field she was in. In days gone by I would have to wait whilst other people took my horses out to this field, or bought them in for me. I did not have the energy or ability to walk that far. Today it was a breeze! So that made me smile. I then had a chat and cuddle with the little lambs before heading home…and they made me smile too. I caught up with my Dad, and then my sister and the kids. Before I knew it, it was 8pm and I had to get home to make dinner…so distraction worked today too.
Right at this moment I am full. I am happily full of lovely healthy food. But there is a little niggle…so I am off to meditate!
I hope that you are having a great weekend…and continue to do so.
In fact I am going to meditate and then have a little giggle over Russell Brand last night. He is so naughty, so switched on, flits from subject to subject with consummate ease…and he uses my favourite ‘C’ word…what’s not to like?! Mr WLB chortled the night away…I got annoyed with a drunk on the front row…as did Russell who had her removed from the audience eventually. I guess when you are established you don’t have to put up with plonkers…I say that we all stop putting up with plonkers and remove them from our lives too!
On that note, I will love you and leave you!
A good food day. A quick breakfast of bananas before Pilates…I never like much before these sessions. Lunch was a quickie of scrambled eggs with smoked salmon on top of spinach and cheese with red onion and cherry tomatoes. Dinner was chicken fillets with Cajun seasoning in wholemeal rolls, with salad, roasted red onion, and roasted butternut squash. And a nice Trek bar for my snack.
Exercise: 60 minutes Pilates…and a little mooch at the horses.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx