What does the word ‘success’ mean to you?
The definition of success is, the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. For me though that definition is so bloody broad…success means different things to different people…defining it can be a nightmare!
I spent the morning with a wonderful lady – a likeminded soul – and I am thrilled to have her as a coaching ‘client’…I hate the word ‘client’ but hate the word ‘coachee’ more! We were discussing success, and her frankly amazing and extensive history of achievements, and I guess I started thinking a bit more about what success means as I drove home.
Back in my dark and distant life, success meant ‘things’. TAG watches, Mulberry handbags, my Mercedes, big bonuses, being able to fund a night on the town for all of my friends without giving it a second thought, being able to shop each week and not even look at the price of the stuff I was buying…so I guess that success meant money.
However in order to have this money, I had to be successful from a career perspective…and I was. When I worked in a recruitment agency environment I was often the top-biller. I worked hard, I worked long hours, I worked smart…it was quite cut-throat…but I managed and managed well! Add to this that I was often labelled as the ‘youngest’ in the team…young, successful, with money…I sound like some sort of wannabe ‘Wolf of Wall Street’…it was nothing like that, but it was fun!
Success is a motivator. And it can breed…when you experience success in one aspect of your life, you want it in other aspects. Which was why my situation was so frustrating. Everything else in my life was fabulous…but when it came to my weight I felt like a failure. And failure is not a motivator. And it can also breed…making it bloody hard to find successes anywhere!
With success comes praise. And praise is good. Praise can be a confidence boost…it can give you that little bit extra. I guess I constantly sought the praise and approval of people around me. I craved the title of being top-biller, or the youngest and most successful. So you have a craving for success, a fear of failure, and a desire for praise in order to boost your confidence.
What a mixed-up situation!
Add to that mixture a little something called envy. If you are being truthful, at some point in your life you will have experienced envy when you see a successful person. I have envy at the moment…it relates to a lady who has not long joined my Slimming World group. She is doing so well – winning Slimmer of the Week numerous times, and Slimmer of the Month…and I am jealous I guess. But then again I am comparing my chapter 20 to her chapter 1 in a sense…flipping heck, when I first started I had 13lb, 19lb, and 14lb losses some weeks. Envy is not worth it!
I know that people envied me. When I was earning decent money and getting these accolades…well, I know that people around me weren’t happy. And then when I moved away from sales and started my educational expedition…my boss was annoyed that I had more qualifications than she did…admitting it…she felt it belittled her and undermined her authority!
When it comes to my life now, I look at success in a different light. I look at my binge-eating and the progress that I have made, I look at the weight I have lost and the fact that I have done it without the surgery that I was told I absolutely needed, I look at pressing 200kg in the gym the other day, I look at my progress pictures, I look at the messages from people who tell me that I have given them the belief that they too can change their lives, I look at my horses and how much I can do with them now.
In terms of material things I have less than ever before. I have debt, a leaky roof, need a new car, my house needs rewiring and a new boiler, we have no pension plan, no savings…but bloody hell am I happier than ever before…you bet I am!
My life is rich and full of wonderful people who are all trying to make a change for the better. My life is full of people who love me and support me – and I do the same for them. My life is good…great even.
I read a nice little article in the Harvard Business Review that contained this…
…but even trying to balance the objective and subjective options can be a nightmare. I think, for me, just ‘being’ has been good. Stripping away the job, the lifestyle that went with it, the added benefits…this brings with it new focus. Now I am not suggesting for one minute that you ditch your job, but trying to strip away some of the objective stuff can be interesting!
So what does success mean to you…and are you doing what you need to do in order to achieve it?
That’s my lot for today then. As mentioned, I spent the morning with a coaching ‘client’ (yuk…don’t like that word – but adore the lady in question!) and then headed home for a second coaching session – but this has been rescheduled. So I headed to see the horses, and popped to Asda, before heading home for food and preparation for another coaching session this evening – which was a great session…such good progress after the first session! Oh, I also took another set of progress pictures and updated my measurements – there is a good change in shape, but everything is heading south at the moment and the measurements are affected by this I think – but losses in all three areas that I check and I am happy with the pictures and progress. Mr WLB is feeling under the weather at the moment, so I am trying my best to be sympathetic but failing I think! It’s weigh-in tomorrow…and the next big award is within my grasp…and I really want this before I head on holiday at the end of the week.
Breakfast: Boiled eggs and a banana.
Another good food day. And for the ‘Healthy Extra Police’ you will notice that both my A’s and B’s have been consumed! Brekkie was my usual and was followed by poached salmon fillets with roasted veggies – red onion, peppers, courgette, and tomatoes. Dinner was chicken, roasted carrots, celery, and onion, cabbage, cauliflower, green beans, broccoli, and melted LowLow cheese. And my snacks were nuts and Nakd bars!
Exercise: Not a lot at all today!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx