“Most mothers are instinctive philosophers”- Harriet Bercher Stowe.
I thought it would be rather apt to write a post about something that has entered my head recently. As I’ve been online the main topic of conversation is Mother’s day and what people online have been doing to share this special day with their mothers.
Over the past sixteen months I’ve written about an array of topics ranging from concerns to worries about my recent feelings but ultimately Epilepsy is the main subject that unites us all.
In March it was Mothers day here in the UK and yesterday I was aware that the majority of the world were celebrating their memories of the women that put their stamp on their life that being their mother.
Whether you call her mom, mam, mum, mother, ma or hey woman get yourself over here (something I’d get my head ripped off for if I did that) mothers have what I call the other sense.
In my case my mam is without doubt my best friend or better still the older me. She knows me. She can tell if I’m pissed off because of my facial expression and if I’m upset by gosh she’s the first person on a telephone who’ll pick up on it before saying “Sarah what’s the matter you’ve got something to tell me”
Growing up my mam and I haven’t always seen eye to eye.
We’ve had disagreements, arguments, walking out on occasion because my room hasn’t been tidied, the good old saying of “You don’t understand me mam” before jumping on a bus to my grans and the list is endless however when all’s said and done the saying I dread to say and she’ll laugh when she reads this is that usually… Mothers know best. You may think I’m wrong but it’s taken me nearly 29 years to admit it.
There’s the saying that you’ll always love your family but you don’t have to like them and growing up with my mam who although received support from my father became a single mother at the age of 26. Living in the same home as my mam who felt like she gave me the clothes from her back was the woman you would go to with everything.
She was the one who’d work full time hours to keep a roof over our heads and was there to offer her support when I needed her the most.
Whatever the problem whether it be big or small she was the woman you’d gravitate towards and although we’d clash heads a fair few times she was the one I’d pour my heart out to. To this day my mam is still the person I’d phone for a giggle, a bit of advice or just a chat about a favourite TV show while we’re both munching chocolate down the end of the line.
My mam was the one who between us gave me the strength to conquer my fears since I was diagnosed.
At 8 years old my mam was to face the biggest challenge in her lifetime and that is to be informed that her daughter had Epilepsy. That her daughter at such a young age has just had six grande mal seizures one after the other, was paralysed down her left hand side and could have Epilepsy for the remainder of her life.
As a parent being told that your child has a neurological condition must be a terrifying experience in itself and although not a mother myself have been given a detailed account of my mother’s emotional connection with those words.
Ever since the doctor sat down with my mam to describe how Epilepsy could change the dynamics of my life along with testing her endurance as a parent that day would be the pivotal day that my mam and I would have to join forces, come together and for her to be not just the woman who’d make me laugh but she had to be strong for both of us.
Whether it be the aftermath of a seizure, a feeling towards the neurological appointments, the medication changes where she would be on alert for weeks after while my body adjusted or the discussions where we would consolidate our thoughts my mam never gave me that feeling of being different.
To me I felt different but to her I was her daughter. To her there was never a problem we couldn’t solve and to her I was her only child and she was put on this planet to protect her pride and joy.
When it comes to Epilepsy and the people who surround themselves with our condition their support can become unnoticed. Although you’re suffering parent’s end up stepping up to the plate and provide us with that unconditional love to get us through that day. They too need to be recognised and they too are going though our Epilepsy journey.
As an adult I’ve always been intrigued with the bond a mother can have with their child. I’ve been told on many occasion there’s never a feeling like it. You do your utmost to keep your child safe, to keep them happy, to be the nurturing person in both good times and in bad but most of all to be the person you’re child is never afraid of coming to.
I write this today because throughout my life my mam whether it be associated with my feelings towards Epilepsy or just life in general has made me see that anything is possible.
As I write today about my experiences with my mother I’d like you all to have a little think about the things your mam has done for you, the memories you have with the mother that brought you into this world and the happy times you have shared together.
Mothers are without doubt one of the most valuable assets you’ll ever have. They bring you into this world to protect you and I truly hope wherever in the world you are that you have had a lovely mothers day with memories to treasure.
I’ll leave you with a final quote:
“Motherhood; all love begins and ends there”- Robert Browning.
This is a blog for the mothers across the world. You know we love you x