Life as a part-time blogger can be interesting at times…and also awkward.
There are those wonderful highs when I get messages from people who have felt inspired by my ramblings and ruminations and have gone on to make some incredible changes to their lives. This for me is priceless; it makes the process of running a website (at a cost to me!) and all of the time and energy that I spend on it (in excess of 20 hours a week!) totally worthwhile. It is bloody marvellous and makes me proud that people feel that because I am struggling along, they can too!
Then there are those moments when something I write is misinterpreted, or just picked up on by someone with a personality disorder who feels the need to try and set me straight. Like the people who contacted me telling me that I am evil, disgusting, and ugly for daring to answer back to someone who has been a dick…or telling me that the language I used to describe my old boss was slut-shaming and a reason why some rapists are never convicted…or that I should be ashamed of my foul language (my response is generally…feck off, twat!) What these people fail to understand is that my writing of an evening is replacing the binging that I used to do…the binging that almost killed me…so forgive me if I get emotional and swear every now and again and talk about the issues that contributed to my weight and binge eating disorder. I have to laugh at times…when people meet me they are often surprised by my eloquence and lack of foul language…I WAS bought up very well and educated in the field of manners and decorum! And there is another option…don’t bloody read it if you don’t like it!
Then there are those awkward moments when a company gets in touch, or their PR people, and make an offer that they feel is tempting. In a way it is incredibly flattering I suppose. I wouldn’t get offered free stuff if they didn’t think they were going to get something back from it…so it indicates to me that my old blog is building up a bit of an audience and that they hope you will buy their stuff after seeing me sing it’s praises!
My most exciting moment was when Fage – the people behind Total yogurt – contacted me about their Fruyo yogurts. I explained that there were certain flavours that I didn’t like and so not to send me those as they wouldn’t get a favourable reaction from the off-set, and then this huge parcel arrived full of yogurts…I had been expecting a couple of pots – I felt like royalty or a celebrity getting swag! I am well aware of how sad this is, but having worked for everything that I have my entire life – well, I got my first ‘proper’ job at 12! – getting freebies was all new to me!
In terms of my freebies, and in the interest of full disclosure, I have had some hot chocolate sachets from Weight Watchers, which I liked back then but would be far to sweet for me now. I had the yogurts which were amazingly delicious. And then I was given some bits and pieces for a couple of charity events I held from Eat Natural, Dorset Cereals, and Nakd bars and Nakd raisins. These products were amazing. Nice and natural, healthy in moderation, and so bloody tasty…I couldn’t fault them really, apart from the fact that more freebies would have been excellent as 99.9% of what I got, bar the stuff I tasted and reviewed, went to the people who attended my charity events…and rightly so too!
My morals around the world of weight loss products are pretty strong. Not that I don’t have strong morals anyway…but I have been in desperate places so many times when trying to shift the weight. I have tried pretty much every fad diet and product out there, regardless of the cost and stupidly outrageous claims, as I was absolutely desperate to lead a semblance of a normal life in terms of my weight and how I looked. To the outside world I was confident and happy, and I was…but inside I was desperate to change my external appearance.
As something of a blogger I am very PR friendly…if I believe in the product. I love nothing more than sharing things that work or taste delicious with other people. But if you try and get me to review stuff that I would never use…you are onto a loser straight away.
A large online chemist contacted me recently about being extremely keen to work with me. I would have loved to – they have so many products that I would have reviewed – decent joint supplements for my achy knees, joint supports, heat packs, relaxation products…all of the stuff that, to me, is important. So I responded with a lovely email stating how happy I would be to support their endeavours but that in no way, shape, or form would I ever promote the use of weight loss supplements, shakes, diet plans, body wraps etc. Needless to say, I never heard from them again!
Then I had contact from a weight loss pill manufacturer asking me if I would consider letting them use my ‘before’ and ‘after’ pictures in their marketing campaigns. Now, this one was interesting as obviously I haven’t been near one of their pills and never will be. This didn’t seem to be a problem for them. There was a princely sum on offer…tens and tens of thousands of pounds. When I kindly rejected their offer, it was doubled! I didn’t even bother gracing that email with a reply.
Body wrap people are interesting. The question, “What fecking planet are you on?”, was on the tip of my tongue recently when trying to remain calm and polite regarding an offer that had been made to me. As I responded to the fifth message from a rather persistent lady who would not take ‘no thank you’ for an answer, I was starting to lose my patience. I understand that we all having a living to make, and I understand that some people believe wholeheartedly in the products that they are trying to sell…actually, I don’t believe that bit, what I actually believe is that they love the money these products can make for them!
Apparently this body wrap would deal with all of my loose and saggy skin. Hmmm…I asked how big this wrap was as the lady in question has no idea of the size of my arse! The response was that these wraps would deal with anything. Hmmm…really? Even the vast quantities of skin that a 400lb+ weight loss produces? No problem again apparently…’try me’ was the response. As I sat there chuckling, with my flabby skin settled around me, I had to wonder if this lady had ever dealt with someone of my proportions. I also wondered if it really was this simple, why there is such a demand for skin removal surgery! Once again, I said, ‘no thank you’ and left it at that. Yet this lady still persisted…I will give her credit for that.
If this miracle fecking wrap does work though, in about two years time you will find me wrapped up like an Egyptian mummy for a few months! I do love the optimism (naivety?!) of some people – I WILL have tons of loose skin so bring this miracle wrap on I say! Goodness me – whatever next?! I am well aware that with a weight loss over 400lbs, or 32st, I will be left with skin…an amount of skin that no fecking body wrap will solve…get real!
In the defence of wraps, they do work. They leach the water out of your body. So you will feel smaller and weigh less. They also moisturise your skin, so it will feel smoother. But the effects of a wrap will probably be gone by the time you are tucking into your dinner. The effects of a wrap on your bank balance will be felt for much longer than that though! You would be far better off buying a bottle of baby oil and skipping the chocolate cake!
The most recent PR email came from a lovely lady who had done her research…she said that she knows I don’t take pills, but that her client had all sorts of other products…detox kits, weight loss tea and coffee, body wraps, and even Spanx! After looking at the website in question, this was my response…
‘Thank you so much for getting in touch! I have had a look at the site…and I think the only thing that I could / would be comfortable recommending would be the Spanx. I am not a fan of detox, teas, pills, wraps etc…they aren’t needed or helpful if you are eating well and moving well. Saying that, to have the words ‘as worn by Eva Longoria’ under the Spanx info made me chuckle…her whole body is probably the size of one of my legs…so I am not sure that in my wildest dreams is Eva in need of a pair of Spanx! I would love to review some, but I am not sure if I am the right person to promote…as I said, bar the Spanx, there is nothing on there that I feel comfortable in recommending as I wouldn’t use any of it myself.’
So whilst I am PR friendly, I am not bullshit friendly. I would gladly review Spanx products, only a couple of which I noted would actually fit me…the ones I was most interested in, like the leggings that I thought would be ace for the gym, only go to a size 18/20 and cost fecking £67! For that kind of money I would want an arse like Eva Longoria’s! I wonder if when she takes her Spanx off, that her stomach hangs almost to her knees too?!
Seriously though, I do love spreading the word about stuff that works – which is why I am so passionate about Slimming World, mindfulness, compassion building and confidence building techniques, coaching, movement, healthy eating, cutting out processed foods…the list of stuff that will help you get the healthy lifestyle you dream of is long…but it doesn’t include pills, body wraps, weight loss tea or fecking coffee, and detox products – I know it’s crazy…but our body detoxes us…it’s what our liver and kidneys are kind of there for!
I am not expecting a reply back from this lovely PR lady really. I would love to try some Spanx though. As you know, my loose skin is becoming an issue for me and anything that helps with this would boost my confidence. I tried to do a half plank yesterday in Pilates…my stomach still touches the floor even though my body is lifted off the ground, so if anyone has a shapewear solution – other than scaffolding! – for this, I would much appreciate the steer. Maybe Spanx would help…who knows…I will let you know if I get a pair, and I will even take a photo of me in them…but probably won’t share that one for a while yet!
So today has been okay. A nice relaxing morning was followed by some time with the horses in the field. They had a feed, and a fuss, and a groom, and I stood on my little mounting block by the big lad again and he seems very at ease with it all really. Then we headed to the tip to clear out some of my spare room clutter and get rid of an old wardrobe that was falling to pieces. The kitchen has been cleaned, as has the lounge…I caught up on some more ‘Person of Interest’, read a bit more about mindful compassion, and a bit about the subject for my university assignment, cooked and prepped food for tomorrow as it’s a busy day…and am going to try and relax now!
I have to sell my tickets for Paolo Nutini in Wolverhampton this coming Friday. Mr WLB is so poorly at the moment and is not going to be up for a gig. It’s such a shame as we both love Paulo…but if I can sell the tickets then I am going to buy the album and recreate the gig at home! So if you know anyone who might want two seated tickets for £29.50 each…they are selling for over £100 on ‘those’ websites!…then please let me know as it would be a massive help…or if you want them, email me – firstname.lastname@example.org
Just a couple of bananas for a quick brekkie before heading out to see the horses. Lunch was lovely – I cooked the mushrooms with the bacon and added a tiny bit of water, so they tasted smokey too – and added wilted spinach, a couple of eggs, and some fresh cherry tomatoes. Dinner was lush – I used the bFree wraps and my cheese allowance, and made some chicken and veggie kebabs with mushroom, peppers, butternut squash, courgette, and aubergine, and wrapped it all up – very tasty! And my snack was similar to last night.
Exercise: Just a bit of mooching with the horses…in fact, it wasn’t exercise at all really!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx