One of the things that I learnt a while ago is that just because you share a common interest with someone it doesn’t mean that you have other things in common!
This blog post probably won’t make sense if you are not a ‘Twitterer’…but here goes…when I first started out on Twitter, I got all excited and started following Slimming World people…but then some of the tweets I would see from them shocked me. There were some racist ones, some homophobic ones, some incredibly judgemental ones, some intolerant ones, some scary ones, and some that made me fear for my skinny sanity…as it seemed that when people lost fat they lost every single inhibition and all they could talk about was sex!
On a serious note – the sex ones didn’t really bother me…but the racist and homophobic ones really did. So I got a bit more selective…I don’t want to be associated with that kind of bigotry thank you very much…and I began to weed out these people. Then there are people who tweet ‘funny’ pictures of fat people…and I am not sure that I like this kind of thing either.
I like to keep an open-mind, I like to try and avoid judgement where possible, I don’t like to partake in the marginalisation of those already marginalised! I have a decent sense of humour and have been to some frankly pant-wettingly shocking comedy gigs…with people who say the kind of things that having you laughing and then realising that you are terrible for laughing…so I am not easily offended, but I just have a sense of what I think is acceptable and not acceptable.
Recently, I haven’t seen much that has made my radar beep. However whilst I was away on holiday, I saw a tweet which made me wince a little bit. I am not sure that I dealt with it in the right way though…maybe ignoring it would have been the best option.
The general context was about a fat man (50st was mentioned) who was trying to put his sweatiness down to the warm weather. The tweeter had decided that it was due to his weight and used #realitycheck as the closing statement. Now, forgive me for being dim…but have you ever needed a reality check when it comes to your weight? I was more than aware, painfully aware in fact, of my size.
I responded by saying something along the lines of that I used to make similar statements to try and deflect attention away from the fact that my weight was the culprit. Note that I said I tried to deflect attention…I knew perfectly well that my weight was the culprit, but the sheer embarrassment and shame meant that I would try and brush it off as if it didn’t matter to me…but it mattered deeply.
The response I then got was that the chap wasn’t actually that big, but that the packed train was making the tweeter grumpy. But then I saw other tweets and there was talk of having a shower as he smelt already and similar statements…it made me feel a bit uncomfortable I guess.
So I unfollowed the tweeter.
I did this because although I wasn’t particularly offended – people talk shite when they are grumpy…I should know this as I do it lots! – I just wondered how the person would feel if they knew they were being tweeted about. Or how someone who really was near that kind of size would think about going out in public. Or how some of my followers, or those that I follow, would feel if they saw the message. As I said, I didn’t get particularly offended – I am thick-skinned and fairly sweaty myself…and accept that not everyone would want to sit next to me on train! I just didn’t like the feel of it really.
I am a fan of trying – where possible, and I don’t always get it right – of putting good stuff out there…in the hopes that good stuff comes back to me. So I try not to judge too much, I try not to talk crap about people – unless you are my old boss…and then you are crap-fodder as far as I am concerned! – I try and keep an open mind, and I try not to cause offence…although I know my swearing causes offence at times…but if you don’t like it, then do as I did and unfollow or delete!
The originator of the tweet then asked if I was offended – as I had unfollowed – that they hadn’t intended to cause offence, and that they were sorry. I explained that whilst I wasn’t offended, some of my followers and people I follow would be. The response back was that they would only have seen the tweet as responded to it…but that they understood as I had to make a stand somewhere.
Now, I did question the ‘understood’ part…because for me, the fact that people would only have seen it due to my response was moot really…the original tweet was the issue. It is not something that I would ever write…or even think. I guess this kind of stuff just makes me wonder. As I said, we all get annoyed and stroppy…but is putting it out there in that context advisable? I knew someone on Twitter once who made some shocking comments about the unemployed…she was hung out to dry, had to delete her virtual self, and lost her job over it…and rightly so in my opinion!
This obviously isn’t in the same league – but I just think that comments like this add fuel to the fire…making fat people even more sweaty! Seriously though, I just think that thinking before you write is advisable…haha – this comes from someone who writes whatever enters into her head most of the time!
So was I too harsh? I don’t know…I felt guilty when the person apologised, but yet still felt uncomfortable. Maybe just as it wasn’t nice for me to call a car driver a premature ejaculator a few weeks ago, or to refer to my boss as being a bit of a loose character…although I can back the latter up with a fair old bit of evidence!
I am not sure what my learning point from this experience was really. Maybe it was just a reminder to be a nicer to people…or to keep driving my car and avoid trains for fear of being tweeted about! Can you tell that I needed to get that off my chest…why the feck I feel guilty about unfollowing someone on bloody Twitter is beyond me…I guess I just like to be liked – don’t we all?
Enough about Twitter – today has been nice. I had a great catch up with one of my first official weight loss coaching clients…she is making such amazing progress – I am so proud of her achievements and the changes she has made, and will continue to make. Then it was time for my personal training session this week. It went well and was good fun, but I was just a bit frustrated as I think I have broken another bloody bone in my foot…not much that the doctors would say to me other than rest and to lose weight – no shit Sherlock…in fact I am surprised they don’t use #realitycheck when giving me this advice! We managed a good session despite my foot, and I will be back there tomorrow working out a way of moving without jeopardising my bones! The horses were fine, the shops were visited, and then I came home and caught up with Person of Interest, and finished a Rebus book. I am now starting a book about mindful compassion and watching Episodes tonight.
Breakfast: Boiled eggs and a banana.
Another good Green day! My usual brekkie was followed by a lovely soup. I used red lentils, passata, onions, celery, mushrooms, spinach, carrot, sweet potato, garlic, chicken stock, curry powder, ginger, coriander…and I think that was it – cooked it and blitzed it…and it tasted great. Dinner was grilled veggies – that I clearly over-grilled – with homemade hummus, Ryvita, cheese, cherry tomatoes, and Quorn deli chicken. And my snacks were my delicious Nakd bars.
Exercise: A quick warm-up follow by 60 minutes of PT.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx