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18May

Today has been bloody marvellous…I am feeling very content and happy this evening! :-)

The day started well with a lovely long lazy morning in bed. I did wake up quite early but just lazed around for a while – I always wake up early in the summer and love a Sunday laze!

I decided to wear a vest top today. This is quite a big deal for me. I remember once asking a friend if my arms looked fat in an outfit…her response was, ‘Well fat arms will look fat in any outfit!’ Now, my first instinct was to smack her in the chops…I was only young and she was older than me, so I took it to heart and have had issues wearing short sleeves ever since then. It’s not that I am incredibly self-conscious – who am I trying to kid…I am a bit self-conscious! – but just that I have issues with fat arms. I have always wanted Madonna-esque toned arms…so have come to realise that I will never be happy with mine, and if this is the case then I just needed to get over myself and get my fecking arms out!

So the vest top went on today. It was such a lovely feeling getting the sun on my arms and a waft of air to my armpits whilst driving! :-) I did slap on my factor 50 suncream though as I am a bit of an ‘English Rose’ in that sense and burn within a few minutes of contact with the sun.

And do you know what…nobody stared or beeped their horn at me…it was a total non-event. To be fair, I was just heading to the horses, and had a bit of time waiting in Asda car park, so it wasn’t like I was strolling down the High Street…but even so! And the horses don’t care…they love me and my bingo wings! :-)

The horses were fabulous today. They were in the yard area when I arrived, and I just walked to the field and they all followed in a little line…from smallest horse to biggest horse! I gave them all a lovely fuss and conditioned and brushed their manes and tails, had a scratchy grooming session, and cleaned their feet. I did injure my foot again though…not the already injured one, but the other one! My Welsh Cob kind of grazed his hoof down the side of my calf and caught my ankle – half standing on it…it’s all swollen and bruised but will be fine tomorrow I think (hope!)

We got the BBQ started and then my Mum and her foster mum and baby arrived, and then my Dad and his girlfriend. Mr WLB is still feeling awful and wanted tasks to take his mind off how he was feeling…so he was BBQ monitor!

The food was good – lean pork steaks, chicken breasts, salad, and homemade coleslaw. I avoided sausages and belly-pork…which is a favourite of my Dads girlfriend, but makes me feel sick just looking at the stuff. I always wonder if it’s because I reckon that this is what my belly would look like all sliced up…not a nice thought really! :-)

Then I decided to take a little mounting block out to the field and see how my youngest reacted to me standing on it next to him. I had no plans whatsoever to get on him, as I am still far too heavy, but he needs nice and gentle incremental training – a bit like the approach I took with my weight loss journey! – so I thought it would be good to see what he thought of it all. I placed the block next to him, and stood scratching him…and then got onto the block and started brushing his back and over his sides with my hands. He was more concerned about having a good scratch! I repeated this a few times on each side…even throwing the block on the floor so it made a noise, to get him used to noises and staying still during these moments. He was fine. I left him to it, but then went back half an hour later and did it all again. Mr WLB even got on the block, and my Mum, and my lad wasn’t really phased at all.

So I have him a big fuss and scratches and left him to it for the day. The flies were bothering him too, so I didn’t want him getting too fidgety and bored.

I then of course had to do the same with my other lad…he gets jealous if not! Even though he has been sat on already!

My Mum laughed at me, saying how she could see that I was itching to get back on a horse. But good things come to those who wait. I am in no rush, and my horses are not yet ridden so need to get training. One is pretty much ready, but the one I worked with today needs more work and support before anyone could even think of getting on. I did get a bit wistful when I saw someone riding down the lane…but sod it, I need to keep working hard and I will get my reward eventually!

Then it was time for a bit of a fresh start. I got rid of this…

20140518-204700.jpg…my fat chair. It’s an oversized ‘love-seat’ built for two to snuggle up on…but it just about fitted my bum when I was at my biggest. Those wide arms used to house my junk food and I would come home from work and sit here, binging until I was literally in pain. Mr WLB and I can both fit in it now – admittedly it’s a bit of a squeeze – but it was time to say goodbye to my chair and all that it represented. The council are coming to collect it tomorrow, along with my old sofas, and it will be a monumental occasion. If it weren’t for the over-hanging apple and silver birch trees in my garden, I’d be tempted to set fire to it ceremoniously!

So as I sit here tonight, on my new-ish sofa that my sister gave me, it feels like life is moving on. Which is strange…it’s just a fecking chair after all. But today has been full of tiny positives…good sleep, good food, great company, good times with my horses, I topped up my vitamin D, and my bingo wings got some sunlight…and my Dad sent me a lovely text saying that not only is my weight changing, but my whole persona…and he thinks it’s fabulous. A great day! ;-)

Breakfast: Banana and boiled eggs.

20140518-194355.jpgLunch: BBQ food (3 syns for mayo on homemade coleslaw).

20140518-194450.jpgDinner: Ryvita, salmon, veggies and Philadelphia (2 x HEA, 2 x HEB and 4 syns).

20140518-194632.jpgSnack: Raspberries, grapes, 0% Total Greek, and a mint Nakd bar (6.5 syns).

20140518-205232.jpgA lovely food day. My usual brekkie was followed by BBQ food for lunch. I can’t resist BBQ food, so had two paper plates of chicken, pork, salad, and homemade coleslaw courtesy of my Mum! Dinner was similar to yesterday’s lunch as I enjoyed it so much. And my snacks were a take on my cheats Black Forest pudding…with raspberries and a mint Nakd bar instead.

Exercise: Not much…just mooching with the horses.

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

  

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