talkhealth Blog

Oh no! My honest nature seems to have offended yet another sensitive soul!

It seems that a blog post I wrote a year ago has caused some offence. Please don’t expect an apology to follow…as one will not be forthcoming – I stand by my view!

Way back when I wrote the offensive blog post I was having a rant about people trying to give advice and solve problems in an area in which they had no direct experience – a lack of personal experience. In my case, being overweight – severely overweight, not just having a fecking muffin-top!

I wrote, ‘Oh, and I also have a major bee in my bonnet about people giving advice when they have never had real issues with eating. I absolutely accept that a nutritionist or a dietitian or a personal trainer might know what should be done. But I have to question their level of understanding when it comes to the emotions involved. For me, it is a little like having a drugs counsellor advising a heroin addicted client when they have never had a drug problem. You cannot possibly imagine what it is like unless you have been there. So whilst you may have the shiny gilt-edged framed certificates to tell all and sundry that you have the knowledge…you can stick your knowledge up your arse until you have been there as far as I am concerned. Now this might be a little short-sighted of me, but I just cannot get to grips with people throwing out advice when they have no direct emotional experience to draw from.’

Admittedly, perhaps I could have structured my rant in a more effective and gentle manner. But I am not going to apologise, as I still feel exactly the same way!

The person who took offence was a drugs worker who has never had an issue with drugs. I have trained and worked alongside people who specialise in the rehabilitation of addicts – drugs, alcohol, and eating disorders specialists. So when I make such comments I am considering my own personal experiences along with the experiences they have shared with me…it’s not an off the cuff remark with no substance! I rarely put myself in the position of speaking about a subject unless I am pretty confident in my ability to support my argument.

Having first-hand experience of a situation provides an insight that absolutely cannot be taught. The issues and challenges associated with overcoming an addiction are things that only someone who has been there, done it, and worn the t-shirt can fully and completely understand. The above people that I mention I have trained with understand and accept this; some of them have shared with me that they feel a lack of ‘something’. These very same people have managed to help many, many people make progress…but they understand that they still lack a little something extra…

You can study, work with, and surround yourself with people who have the issues you are hoping to help others overcome. In doing this you gain an insight into addictive behaviours – the things it drives people to do. However there is a huge gulf between fully and truly experiencing addiction first-hand and having knowledge about addiction. People supporting others with addictions can study, and often do, for years…yet never completely understand an addict and the challenges this presents.

Addicts – this sounds like a strong term to use…so maybe anyone with an issue would be more appropriate, but it’s a bit long-winded! – have experiences that other people can only begin to imagine through the field of study and observation. Those cravings and desires and urges which feel so overwhelming and drive you do things that your rational mind would never usually consider are incredibly hard to explain to anyone who has not felt the same way.

Am I saying that all drugs workers need to have been addicts? No! Am I saying that all ex-addicts would make great drugs workers? No! Being an addict, or having had certain issues, does not make you an expert in that field. Many people I have met and spoken with are completely unaware of what drives their behaviour. They feel in the dark as to why they do the things they do…why they continue to binge-eat or self-sabotage…and the same can be said for some who drink to oblivion and use drugs.

In order to help people, you do not have to have had the exact same experiences as they have. If you want to become a drugs worker for example, it’s not a pre-requisite to have been an addict. There are many, many people out there who change and save lives who have not been addicted to drugs.

There is a ‘but’ coming…

But, in my experience and that of the people I have spoken and worked with, specialists in the field of addiction who have had excellent training, are dedicated to helping others, AND have been in a place of addiction themselves DO have that little bit extra. A certain something that can help them get into the mind and life of those they are working to help. This can often be the thing that makes the difference between helping someone overcome their addiction or failure for the addict.

So whilst I could have worded my argument more constructively, I write these blog posts at the end of long, tiring and emotional days. I would challenge any of you to be completely effective and eloquent when a days worth of stresses and strains are competing for your energy and attention. I would also challenge any of you to be completely effective and eloquent when you yourself are trying to overcome an eating disorder which almost killed you!

To conclude, whilst first-hand experience of addiction it is not a pre-requisite for you to get a job helping people overcome their issues, the combination of education/professional training and first-hand experience for me will always win out over someone who just has the education/professional training. Maybe it’s because I like to challenge people…I like to know what qualifies them to help me. I want someone who has read the books as well as someone who has walked the walk…so shoot me…and don’t expect me to apologise or feel sorry for you because you don’t have this combination of experience…I stand by my original comments!

So there we have my views…I am by no means an expert in any sense of the word…but I am allowed my views – if you don’t like it, don’t read it! People rarely agree wholeheartedly on every single subject, do they? It’s that kind of thing that makes the world go round…oops…that’s another opinion of mine!

Anyway…today has been fabulous-ish. I had a great training session this morning which involved hill work…outside! I haven’t worked out outside, in public, in a hell of a long time. My trainer pushed me up hills…and when I thought it was over, he made me do it again! Then we headed inside for a weights session. There was one moment of shaky legs and I had to sit down, but it was a great session. He never lets my body get used to anything…every week we change things up, increase weights, target new areas…it’s real hard work! Then I had all of the usual things, followed by an evening with a lovely load of Slimming World members. I did two talks tonight and met some great people. I love these talks…it’s so nice to chat to like-minded people who are all trying to change their lives for the better. It was a pleasure to witness a couple of people getting to target tonight…I love it! It was a late one though, and I am a bit pooped…and have Mr WLB to get to the hospital tomorrow, so I am heading off now.

Just the one picture of my food today…Breakfast: Rye bread (1 x HEB) with spinach, eggs, apricots, raspberries, and a banana.
Lunch: Lentil dhal – lentils, onion, spices, garlic, aubergine, courgette, spinach, and tomatoes.
Dinner: Edamame bean salad – spinach, radish, red pepper, cherry tomatoes, feta cheese (2 x HEA), edamame, broad, and green beans with a bit of balsamic vinegar.
Snacks: Nuts (1 x HEB) and Nakd bars (13.5 syns).

A good food day. I have upped my breakfast intake with the addition of some spinach, rye bread, and extra fruit. Lunch was good…I rustled it up within 25 minutes! And dinner was eaten between Slimming World talks tonight. My snacks have been eaten not very mindfully…whilst I have been writing this!

Exercise: 70 minutes PT.

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

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WeightLossBitch

On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!