“When someone is going through a storm your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words”- Thelma Davis.
Support. Something that speaks volumes and shouldn’t cost a penny.
Whether you be silent or outspoken having the right support network can be vital. It can give you that sense of certainty at a time when you feel that nothing makes sense. That presence gives you the feeling of hope.
I’ve chosen tonight’s quote because there comes in everyone’s life that time where help is required. Although you’re sitting there thinking you don’t want to impose on others sometimes you have to be guided slightly in order to find the right direction for you.
For as long as I’ve written Sazzle’s blog I’ve mentioned on many occasion how support can tend to go un-noticed. It can also be something that’s taken for granted.
Support doesn’t have to be speaking the loudest or making your feelings known. Something as simple as just a hug, a nod of the head or a hold of your hand after an episode is sufficient.
Whether you suffer from Epilepsy or not there is always that one person that makes you feel happy inside, that makes you feel appreciated and looks at you for more than just the condition you have or the flaws you see in oneself. They complete you. Simple as. Have a think… Who’s your person?
It doesn’t have to be someone you’re in a relationship with or you have to associate yourself with they choose to be there because of who you are nothing more.
Like the millions of individuals that have been diagnosed with Epilepsy there are moments throughout your journey where life tends to get a tad too much and things can get a little overwhelming.
There’s that element of the seizures never feeling like they’re going away in a hurry, the shakes making an appearance at the happiest of times and that feeling of just not being yourself can be a difficult prospect and one that can take years to accept.
Not portraying myself as the person that requires sympathy I sit here giving you an insight as to how my Epilepsy has effected me over the past 21 years and how although seizure free now for just over five and a half years there’s still that sense of wonder.
Wondering whether the grand mal seizures will return, whether my shaking episodes will eventually turn into the seizure I’ve so desperately wanted to remain dormant or the questioning whether my former self will return. All are insecurities that I’m managing to slowly break away from. Without that support network around me none of that would have been possible.
My shakes are still with me challenging me regularly however there has to be light at the end of the tunnel and that’s a fight I refuse to lose.
As a youngster I was a person that so desperately wanted to be independent. My grandmother had a nightclub in the sixties and the stories I used to hear were magnificent. I longed to be like my gran.
The woman with the voice, the one that oozed elegance and that had made a name for herself for all the right reasons. That woman to this day is one of my inspirations. Although extremely persistent when it comes to something she’s passionate about still has that class at 84 years of age and who has supported me throughout albeit not necessarily seeing eye to eye on occasions.
Although I was very fond of my family and valued their opinion there was sense of me wanting to portray to the world what I was made of and I’d be damned if my condition got in the way.
Falling more times than I actually won the knowing that I’d given it a go is something my parents instilled into me that gave me the incentive to want to know more about my condition and to eventually put it into words for you all to read. Fair enough I don’t have all the medical jargon however I can speak from experience.
Support is a funny old thing and in today’s society can come across in quite a negative manner.
I usually find support can come into three categories. There’s the people who support you that expect something in return. There’s the one’s that allow themselves to be walked all over and then there’s the people in between the ones that offer the advice, never expect anything and who when all’s said and done just want you to be happy.
Whatever the person that’s not for me to judge however what is apparent is that support when you’re low can raise one’s spirits and can make you feel good inside.
I think we have all had those moments where you know family will repeatedly be there to lend a hand if you need it, that they’re a quick phone call away or a drive in the car for them to cuddle you when you get to your destination however what I’ve noticed within myself that there have been times where I haven’t thanked my parents enough for their support.
Many may read this and think that there’s no need for me to address my parents and show my appreciation because I’m their daughter however it takes nothing to say two words.
Two words that many can’t even say when they hold a door open for someone or offer their seat on a bus. Those words are.. Thank you.
It takes nothing to say other words such as I love you, thanks for being there, thanks for coming or thanks for cheering me up. It’s those simple words that have the most meaning.
A couple of questions for you.
When it comes to your support network have you ever thought to yourself that they too need support and that due to them being strong for us occasionally need help to prop them up at times? It’s just a thought.
I never thought like that until a few years ago when I saw my parents getting upset over a cluster of shaking episodes I had and them being powerless to stop them. Listening to their perspective made me open my eyes.
As much as we’d like to be a superhero where nothing phases us and we can miraculously change the wrongs within our lives and the lives of others unfortunately there has to come a time where we have to acknowledge who we are, acknowledge the condition we have and be there for the people that take the time to be there for us.
As for the remainder of my time away…
Exercise is kicking on strong. I haven’t exercised as regular (thanks to the shakes) however when I have I’ve given it my all.
Food wise the odd rather large portion of steak pie and potatoes have been one of a few meals I’ve had that’s made me feel a tad bloated and sleepy however if I stick to one not so healthy meal a week then that’s good enough for me. Let’s prepare in advance and crack on with my fruit and veg! Nutriblasts all the way!
As for Benny he hasn’t made any further jaunts on vehicles around the country however is eating like a rather small horse and is costing me a small fortune. Mice are the top of his agenda at the moment and trying to chase a mouse around my kitchen is one sure way of keeping me fit even though I’m mortified it’s dirtying my new (ish) kitchen!
To conclude today’s post…
Support should never go unnoticed. Everyone has battles in their lives, everyone in their lifetime needs that sense of encouragement at some stage and everyone is loved by someone.
Never underestimate the power of you and the people around you. They’re the ones we should be thanking as they are the ones that keep us strong.
I’ve dedicated this post to you all as I know it’s been a while since I’ve written. Love to all my supporters of Sazzle’s blog, my followers, the Epilepsy community but most importantly my husband, family and friends that same support network that show me I’m loved and that give me the incentive to be Saz, no-one else.