So this past weekend was my fall break and my mom and I traveled to Wisconsin to meet my new little nephew. I don’t know if you know much about traveling to Wisconsin, but it takes FOREVER! This being said, between sleeping most of the 8 hour drive, I had to stop at the bathroom 1 or 20 times. Most of these trips were entirely uneventful, but a couple were suuuuuper awkward.
Everybody has awkward bathroom trips but I seemed to be plagued by them on this trip. My favorite, and by favorite I mean, the winner of the awkward bathroom trip of the year award, was on our way back from Wisconsin.
The Cringeworthy Bathroom Trip
So on the way back, I all of a sudden really really had to use the bathroom, and low and behold, there was a rest stop. Awesome.
No one is waiting, but all the stall doors are closed. I have no idea if guys have this problem, but if the doors are closed, then you have to do one of two things to check if someone is in the stall…
Either you do the door push: Where you tentatively push on the door to see if it’s locked and hope that someone didn’t forgot to lock the door.
Or you look under the doors of the stalls by very awkwardly bending over to see if there are feet present.
The awkwardness begins….
I decided to go with the less awkward option of checking for feet underneath the stalls. I ducked down and the first two stalls had feet. They were occupied.
The only problem is that I couldn’t see the feet in the last stall…but I didn’t really want to potentially offend the occupant by pushing on the door. So I waited.
Strange Noises (never a good thing in the bathroom)
So I’m waiting outside the stalls I start hearing huffing and puffing. That is literally the only way I can think of to describe the noises I was hearing. I mean I guess she was kind of moaning too, but to be honest I was trying not to listen.
In walks another bathroom user
As the lady is making these super weird noises, another woman walks in. We avoid eye contact. I very awkwardly ducked again to check again for feet.
Nope couldn’t see, but what I could see is the look of disapproval from the woman behind me.
Of Course she would finish first
A weird amount of time passes for all the stalls to be full and the awkwardness increases. As I’m feeling awkward for myself, the moaning/sighing/grunting/huffing and puffing gets even louder. There are like 5 people in line at this point and nobody is making eye contact.
All of sudden, there is silence. Flush. Out walks the lady who was making weird noises from the first stall.
Now my first instinct was to back away slowly, I don’t know what was going on in that stall, and I don’t want to know. At that point, I took one for the team and thought happy thoughts before entering the stall. Just thinking about it grosses me out.
I can now say I’ve had one of my most awkward bathroom experiences, and it was even more awkward than having to ask the person next to you for toilet paper. And to think I thought that was awkward….