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8Dec

Lets talk about inspiration.  Specifically inspiration to lose weight.

Why are you putting yourself through the upheaval of making all these changes?  Lets face it, its a right pain in the arse so whats your motivation?

Are you doing it to be a better parent?  Are you doing it to increase your chances of becoming a parent? Are you doing it in memory of your mum who perhaps died of weight related illness? Are you doing it because you’re just bloody sick and tired of being sick and tired? Are your reasons more shallow than that? Do you want to lose weight to be able to wear pretty clothes and have builders wolf whistle you?  Do you want to win back your man from the skinny bitch that stole him?

Cos y’know, all of those reasons are OK.  Theres no good or bad motivation.  Head shrinkers will disagree with me on this point. The best motivation for losing weight apparently is ‘For You’.  Well guess what?  All the reasons listed are perfectly valid.  If it matters to YOU, it is For YOU.

When I was ten stone heavier I REALLY needed to lose weight for all the obvious reasons.  I’m a mother of four boys and I couldnt really play with them.  A game of football was out the question.  Even mucking around on the floor just playing was painful for me and dull for them. I never really went for walks with them, I never ran screaming after them round the back garden.

I was possibly not the best wife either.  My Husband is a sweetie and never put me down but I know he would have liked a hot wife and of course he was worried about my health.  I have a badly damaged knee from a childhood accident and when I was heavier it used to dislocate at random moments so it became yet another reason to avoid excersise.  My knee was crumbling and I had been told I would be in a wheelchair by the time I was forty.

This was not my motivation for losing weight.

In those days I lived less than ten minutes slow walk from my boys school. Every single day I used the car for the school runs.

One day I decided, as part of whatever my latest crackpot diet plan was, to starve myself all day then WALK to school to collect the three eldest.  The walk there was terrible!  Pushing a pram down a very slight hill, my legs, hips and back were in agony. I couldnt really breathe and I felt sick.  My toddler was running rings around me.  However, on the way back, things got worse yet.  I was overcome with nausea, my head started to spin and I had shooting pains down my arms.  I collapsed on the pavement believing I was having a heart attack.

Even the thought that my four children were going to watch their mother die on the side of the road was not motivation enough to properly commit to losing weight.

So what scared me enough to lose weight? If it wasnt for my children? My marriage? My health?  Im afraid to say it’s far more shallow than that.

I saw a photograph of myself.

I used to do the typical fat person thing of always taking the picture not starring in it so I dont think I was ever forced to face what others saw.  At age 34 I saw a picture of myself looking at least 20 years older. I was in profile and I saw my massive arms, my huge, rounded shoulders, My enormous boobs spilling out over my vast belly.  My backside splodged out between the gaps in the chair and my chins cascaded over each other.  I remember that dayvividly too.  I thought I looked GREAT at the time. I was wearing a pretty new top and a summery skirt.   However, my back ached all day and my heartburn was killing me.

That one photograph was the entire reason I lost weight.  I kid you not.  Yes, I’m THAT vain. I did not want to be that sick, tired and old woman any more.  I saw that photo on a Sunday and by Tuesday I was enrolling at Slimming World.  The rest is history.  I keep that photo close at hand for many reasons.  One, obviously to remind me why the hell I’m doing this. Two, to remind myself how far I’ve come. But the best reason I keep that picture at hand is for when I bump into aquaintances I may not have seen for a while.  If they don’t recognise me I get to show them the photo. Their faces make it all worthwhile.

I now get to buy pretty clothes, I get the wolf whistles and the flirting and its all great fun but along the way Ive come to value the reasons I really should have lost weight for.

My husband has his (sort of) hot wife.  My kids dont push their luck because they know Mum can chase and catch them quite easily.  I enjoy playtime and so do they.  My knee hasn’t dislocated in four year and Im not in that bloody wheelchair.  I can run, I am healthy, I have so much fun with my body (not THAT you grubby minded lot) (actually yes, THAT too lol).

Its not really important why you start your own journey.  No matter what your reasons are, they are important and dont ever forget them.

  

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