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Tagged: bereavement

Do doctors talk about dying?

22May

Many people think that having a conversation about dying is reserved for those with cancer. We tend to forget that there are other, often chronic, illness such as heart failure, which also need careful management of the expectations of end-of-life … Continue reading

  

Who do you turn to when your Mum is dying?

20May

I have very mixed feelings about the support we were offered towards the end of Mom’s life. Everyone was lovely and kind to Mom, but nobody would talk about her dying. Even the Macmillan nurse wouldn’t broach the subject because … Continue reading

  

Managing Xmas Emotions after Loss

15Dec

Christmas, for so many, is a time for celebration, giving and receiving – and sharing time with those we love. But, for so many others an inevitable fact of life is that most of us will at some stage face … Continue reading

  

The Christmas Gift

8Dec

I love Christmas. I love the build-up to Christmas. The crazy running around, gift-buying, baking, visiting, carolling, then the peace and quiet of Christmas Day. To reflect on the year, on life, be thankful, happy and sad. Christmas will never … Continue reading

  

Autumn colours

9Oct

Mom always enjoyed the autumn colours on her birthday. She would have been 70 today. We will be going for a walk in the woods later, to enjoy the colours and to celebrate. Mom’s cancer was aggressive. The first round … Continue reading

  

Sea shell whispers

15May

photo 1

This lovely cowrie shell was collected on Durban beach a long time ago, when Granny was a girl. She treasured it. She gave away all her earthly belongings before she died. She was bed-ridden, on a high-care ward, dying from … Continue reading

  

Always on my mind

30Apr

I’m not used to people telling me things I didn’t know about my Mother. In the weeks leading up to her death from lung cancer, we talked a lot. She told me many personal things, and we shared the most … Continue reading

  

Walk and talk

6Feb

Just when I thought there was no more to say, a simple comment to Dad today brought out another level of reflection from us both. Time has given us the space to listen and so nearly three years since Mom … Continue reading

  

The chair

30Dec

Please don’t sit in her chair, It makes me ache that she is not here. Two Christmasses gone, Her place at the table will never be forgotten. I know you are a nice person, Not wanting to hurt me – … Continue reading

  

What do you dream of?

9Nov

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is a reality”- John Lennon. Dreaming. One word many authors have made an absolute fortune publishing books on, the majority of which have created little summaries … Continue reading

  

Time passing

21Jul

The every-day hum drum of life is OK. It’s the quiet times that get to me. The times when grief is close to the surface of my heart, and erupts in a harsh sob, that I can’t even tell the … Continue reading

  

Dear Friend (sharing grief)

17Jun

Dear Friend, I am so sorry to hear that your dear Dad has passed away. I know your pain. The sadness. The overwhelming emotion of dealing with the death of a loved one. Your Dad’s death has brought back memories … Continue reading

  

Long-distance grieving

24Apr

They say that the world is getting smaller, meaning it is easier to travel to or communicate with loved ones, friends, family and colleagues. But what about when someone you care about is ill, terminally ill? And living 10,000 km … Continue reading

  

Don’t sweat the small stuff

31Jan

I have changed. I used to be a worry-pot. I used to get annoyed at the slightest thing. I could get in a real temper. But that was before Mom became ill and died. It was a life-changing event. I … Continue reading

  

Your choice

10Sep

Sometimes, when things get a bit tough, it is easy to forget that we have a choice. We have a choice about where and how we die. With a diagnosis of terminal illness, we are given plenty of time to … Continue reading

  

When your time is up

23Aug

I am writing this today, the day after Tony Nicklinson died. I don’t know his family, but I do understand how brave they are. To see your loved one suffer is so very hard to bear. We knew that Mom’s … Continue reading

  

Get your ducks in a row

6Aug

That’s what Mom always said. She was a wise woman, right to the end. And her clarity and comprehension of her situation helped us to help her. My wonderful husband was pro-active in getting Mom to decide where she wanted … Continue reading

  

Isn’t it time we changed the way we do bereavement?

3Jul

Bereavement doesn’t have to mean suffering. It can be a period of reflection, from which we, the survivors, draw comfort and strength to face the future without our loved ones. I have been close to my Dad this week as … Continue reading

  

Sometimes, death is a negative

29May

I enjoy reading grief blogs. They are often witty, inspirational and always personal. But some are written by cynical ‘grief specialists’, each with a unique process for dealing with grief. Now, this is OK for some, but for many of … Continue reading

  

Dying Matters Awareness Week

14May

The support we had when Mom was dying was second to none. The group of people who rallied round and made sure that Mom’s wishes were met, were angels to her and to us. Mom found it difficult to accept … Continue reading

  

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