Opening up about my psoriasis has been the best thing I've done
I was diagnosed with psoriasis at the age of 6, but it wasn’t until recently that I completely opened up about my psoriasis and I’ve started feeling comfortable in my own skin. I always used to avoid the topic of my psoriasis because I was ashamed to talk about it. I was scared to open up about how my health was making me feel because I thought no one would understand and that people would think I’m being silly for worrying about a skin condition. But since opening up and starting my blog, this past year has been the biggest turning point in my journey with psoriasis.
I’ve had a long journey with psoriasis. I sort of just grew up with the condition. I mean it was there and it was something I just had to get on and live with. It was quite calm during my childhood, but reaching my teenage years, it started spreading, covering 90% of my body. Throughout school I would constantly get questioned about my skin. People would say comments like “your head is snowing” because of the psoriasis I had in my scalp, or they’d point out that something was wrong with my skin. I think deep down it has always affected me psychologically, but I never addressed the issues and I kept brushing off those feelings and would talk myself out of it, because I always thought I wasn’t “allowed” to let myself feel down because of a skin condition.
I went through so many different treatments to get my skin under control, but last year my skin went through its worst, even spreading to my face, which had a huge impact on me, psychologically. I was so self-conscious. I would hate making eye contact with people because I’d sense them staring at my flared skin. I would cover up with long sleeves and neck scarves. I would flinch every time I looked into the mirror. It was exhausting. My psoriasis would constantly be on my mind. It was the first and the last thing I’d think about every single day and it was starting to affect my social life. I then got to a point where I could no longer bottle up how it was feeling, and finally opened up. Once I had opened up, I literally felt a million times better! That’s when my confidence starting building up again and I started to blog to help others dealing with psoriasis, and to help raise awareness.
My recent outbreak has taught me a lot. And even though it has taken me a long time, accepting my psoriasis has been the most challenging yet best thing I have done. It still surprises me how openly I can talk about it now. Although I do still struggle with my psoriasis from time to time and have my insecurities, I have learnt to deal with those insecurities in a better way now. Psoriasis has hugely shaped my life, it has made me the person I am today, and I now appreciate the smallest and littlest things in life.
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