She was also very proactive about where she might live and so she happily downsized to a warden assisted flat near to her local shops and then even more sensibly started looking around care homes herself. Although I have to say all the homes near her knew her well as I think she was particularly partial to popping in at every opportunity for a ‘cuppa tea and a piece of cake’. So we were very lucky in these respects. However I realise now that we should have kept more of an eye on her very capable organisational skills….
Once decided that she was moving from her large family house she started unbeknown to her family to start giving things away at the most incredible speed. She would ask neighbours and friends what would they like and on someones recommendation gave her valuable collection of brass away to a shop for peanuts which we luckily managed to rescue just in time. Even the person who used to clean her oven started asking me what was happening to all her antiques….which really started ringing alarm bells – as you suddenly realise how vulnerable people like my mother are. Her judgement at this stage was clearly impaired, although if you spoke with her you would never have realised, as it was really her actions that were demonstrating the dementia not the normal day to day conversation one could still have with her at that stage. Hinesight as usual is a great thing and the signs were all there to see……..