Well, I had the sixth and seventh day – Friday and Saturday – during which it was really difficult to keep focussed, because I felt really exhausted and I missed food, though in those two days I had about five or six nuts – I just binged on them. But it felt nice to just chew something; and also there were times when I ate those things occasionally, mostly after putting my son to bed, when I was quite drained and I did not have time to make the juice because it would take a long time to put him to bed afterwards. So I was running on empty a bit.
well today was really nice. I think today is the eighth day – it’s Sunday. I feel really positive, strong. I spent a lot of time doing the spirit of the detox, just working on my personal negative patterns, and that has been really useful – just really spending time with myself and recognising some of my behaviour patterns: what they are linked to, what feelings they are linked to, and how I can label them and change them. Paying attention to that sort of mental programming, I would say.
So that was really positive, and it’s really liberating, because today I found something really positive that I can do to just achieve this feeling of being in heaven, a harmonious place, with myself, and I just realised how I can do that any time I want; and it’s amazing how these things are in our minds and how we can tap into those parts of ourselves. So it was really good for me to memorise this place and how to get there. I’d forgotten about it so many times – it’s so easy to get distracted by little things that happen and distract our attention from what we’re meant to be looking at in life, in general. It could be anything. For example, when I started this detox, a friend of mine had died just before. I had so many plans to go out and do these things. I still did go out, but I didn’t really feel happy, and it was true – just practicing looking at beautiful things and experiencing ballet, opera, painting, going to exhibitions: that really helped me quite a lot through those moments.
Sometimes it’s very good to have that to fall back on. And this weekend I went to some exhibitions which really helped me to focus on what I had to do, and today, just out of the blue, this kind of amazing wealth of positivity and harmony opened up to me just by me going within myself. It felt like an effortless thing, and I kind of was so relaxed that I realised how I got there. It was just a real shift of perception that I managed to find – this really powerful feeling within me that’s connected to a way of being, let’s say; and that kind of awareness of that made me realise how much power I had to give things to myself, whether it’s calmness, comfort, all these things. So I realised this. I realised that I don’t need to talk to someone when I feel lost, or go to someone else: I just need to spend time with myself. And it was something great to realise, and beautiful: I’ve spent really beautiful moments with myself, just priceless – I felt so inspired by it. Although I feel quite weak at times – I feel tired for some reason. I’m not sure if it’s the weather, but this has been a bit tiring: it’s a big change. But yeah, I’m really excited.
Odete
You can call me Odete. I’m a 33-year-old black African female human. I am part of the CatchAfiya Network. I became interested in tools for coping with mental distress. Last year in 2010 I first started working at the BME Women Recovery Research Project which was lead by Jayasree Kalahil for the Mental Health Foundation. During the research project I was working as a researcher interviewer. I was at the lowest point in my depression, so doing that kind of work really inspired me. While working and listening to the stories of the women being interviewed, I felt as if was getting educated about what resources were available which aided their recovery. I hope this blog can inspire us to build a safer environment. I want to create my blogs as a tool of exchange and discussion where everyone is free to contribute on tips about how to use them in mental health recovery and share their experiences in a safe space.
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