This one is a bit of a personal one. I have lost alot in the last 5 years. I have lost the woman who was like a mother to me, I have lost my fertility and I have lost alot of family members through different circumstances. For the last 3 or 4 months I have found myself dwelling alot on what I have lost – wishing I could change things. I find myself making silly statements such as ‘if you let me have one more cuddle with Nana then I’ll do anything you want’. Isn’t it strange how the human mind works. I know that it’s simply not possible but somewhere in my imagination I still have the ability to make these statements.
I found that I am expending a HUGE amount of enery on things that are outwith my control, things that with the best will in the world I simply cannot change. So I have reigned myself in and decided to focus on what life has given me in the last few years.
Life has given me an insight that money couldn’t buy. It has taken me down paths that I would never in a million years have chosen – yet i’m so glad that I travelled them. I have been lucky to have wonderful people in my life – who although are no longer with me in person – they will never leave me in spirit. I try to live in a way that the best bits of them shine through me and the work that I do. I am so lucky to be blessed with two beautiful healthy sons, a wonderful husband (don’t tell him that!) and a good extended family. I have just a perfect sized circle of friends – a lovely dolly mixture, one for every occassion.
Yes life has chucked some lemons at me along the way – but the past is an imovable object and I figure that I can’t change it so I have to change the way I think about it.
And my thought for today is : ‘Don’t look back – your not going that way’