14 Aug 2013

My first foray into the horsey world for a long time went pretty bloody well! Today I was watching a lady called Kathleen Lindley Beckham working her magic – a fabulous lady with a great sense of humour.
My Mum collected me at 9am and we headed off to the venue. I can’t say that I wasn’t apprehensive….I was a little bit, but not because of me or anything that I might say or do, just because of this bloody bulk that I am carrying around! A friend of ours was going, so I knew that I had one familiar face, and the clinic was taking place at a yard on which we used to keep our horses, so I also knew the owner too.

I will try and get to the point quickly and explain the horsey world in a way in which my fellow ‘losers’ and non-horsey people will understand…

The horsey world is exactly like the world of weight loss. You have charlatans trying to make money out of unsuspecting or uneducated and ill-equipped people desperate for a solution to their problem. And you have some great people who – like the weight loss world – are few and far between and are genuine and knowledgable. Kathleen is a genuine and knowledgeable person – she talks sense, she is direct but fair and she knows what she is doing. For me, she is like a Slimming World – a good evidence-based experienced option…not like a Lighter Life or Slim Fast! ;-)

However, Kathleen can only work with what she is presented with. So, like a Slimming World consultant, anyone could walk in. That person might be really up for the challenge but just doesn’t have the tools or the knowledge to go it alone. They could be there because someone has told them it’s great. They could be there because it’s all the rage at the moment. That person might take on all of the advice given and go on to do fabulous things…or they might just go right back to their old habits again – creating, in horses, a vicious circle of behaviour which can be dangerous…in dieters or losers, a vicious circle of behaviour which can also be dangerous…but this danger doesn’t have hooves – it just leaves you fat!

The people Kathleen was presented with today were all there because they wanted what was best for their horse – they wanted to make positive changes. So similar to us losers. The people today had all been told certain things that they should and shouldn’t do with their horses – like not wearing a bridle, or a bit, or using the reins, or using the mind to instruct the horse. Us losers get told not to eat after 8pm, that carbs are bad, that we shouldn’t eat chocolate, or that we should only have 1200kcals.

Kathleen very quickly – politely and diplomatically – made her point that if you really want to do what is best for your horse, you direct it, you give clear signals, you show the horse what it is that you want. This doesn’t cause the horse any issues; in fact, it relives stress and allows the horse to get on with the job in hand. Us losers need to give consistent and clear signals to our bodies – yoyo dieting, days of starvation followed by binging, fad diets and drastic measures all send confusing signals to our bodies…they have no idea whether to shed the excess fat or to hold onto it incase we don’t feed it again!

Of all of the insightful comments that I heard Kathleen make today, the one that struck me the most was her use of the word ‘comfortable’. As a horse owner, I want to ensure the comfort of my horses. I don’t want to do anything that might cause them discomfort – why would I want to cause them discomfort? Yet Kathleen asked us to recall a time of significant change in our lives – for me, mine has been this weight loss. She asked what prompted our change…were we comfortable in the immediate moments leading up to that change, or did we have to go through a little discomfort to discover the world of possibilities on the other side? It was a real lightbulb moment for me! :-)

My life was so far from comfortable it actually causes me discomfort to think about it now! I wonder how I ever could have considered remaining like that. I didn’t want to go through the discomfort of losing weight – the challenge that this brings, the emotional issues, facing my demons. Yet when I faced up to those issues and dealt with them (and continue to deal with them now) things changed…I began shedding this weight and creating a new life for myself. One that is brighter, more fulfilling, more challenging, and much more bloody fun!

The discomfort on display today was shown in the form of a horse that bucked (bounced his back legs to dislodge the rider) when it was asked to move from trot to canter. Yet once the owner went with these bucks and pushed through the discomfort, the horse produced a really lovely canter and showed how much fun it could have.

Anyway, I am going to wrap it up there…as it is 10pm and I am shattered and could well fall asleep before the end of this post…

For me, today was fab in so many ways. I got to meet someone who talked sense! I got to spend some time with a weird and wonderful bunch of horsey people. I got to see some lovely horses. I got to spend time with my Mum. And I got out there – I wasn’t hiding away…and it was great!

I took a couple of pics to share with you. One is of Kathleen…

20130814-215437.jpgI have to admit to being a little jealous of her legs…they went on for miles and she looked fab in jeans…one of my dreams! :-) She really was good. I had never seen her in action before, but had read some of her stuff and heard about her…I was not disappointed at all and hope to get one of my horses to one of her clinics at some point. She was also really lovely to me…I explained my situation and she dealt with that very well…not that I expected her to throw rotten veggies at me or anything! ;-)

The other pic is of Herbie – who I really felt for. He had some very dangerous behaviour on show and his handler was pretty bloody brave! In fact he behaved how my Welshie did when he was a baby…yet this horse was ten and his issues seem to have been created rather than just being down to a lack of education. It seems that his education has turned him into what he is today. But I felt for this guy…and he had a look about him that I like in my horses…although I could do without this particular look…

20130814-215903.jpgI hope that the lady who now has Herbie in her care can find a way of moving things forward with him.

Breakfast: Two Alpen light bars (1 x HEB), a banana and a fruit salad.

20130814-083407.jpgLunch: Couscous and roast veggies with Quorn pieces (1.5 syns).

20130814-083508.jpgDinner: Syn free chips, beans and sausage with melted cheese (3 syns, 2 x HEA and 1 x HEB).

20130814-204427.jpgSnacks: None!

A good food day today. A picnic lunch ate in the sunshine (well, it was actually a bit cloudy!) which was the Ainsley Moroccan cous cous with Quorn pieces, courgette, onion, pepper and mushrooms. Dinner had no superfree food from a Slimming World perspective, but was just good old sausage, chips and beans with my cheese on top!

Exercise: Nothing – I have been sitting on my bum!

Thank you for reading!

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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