“Not that hole!”, and, “It needs to be deeper!”

Those were the words echoing around the countryside this afternoon. My dulcet tones could be heard barking orders at my other half from miles around – I am a demanding lady! ;-)

And once you have removed your minds from the gutter…we were erecting fencing! The rickety old stuff, which had been bum-scratched into submission by my Shetland pony, was taken down and broken up today. We then had to use a bloody great heavy post slammer in order to drive what I think look like giant pencils into the ground. In fact, I think I might paint some like pencils – it would brighten the yard up!

I decided that I would take the role of director…complete with directors chair and loud voice, until I could see that the posts were being slammed in at all angles. I couldn’t stay still and had to get involved…which means that I am now sporting blisters. In addition to the angles issue, my other half had decided to wear flip flops today – and anyone who has ever used a post slammer will know how heavy they are…I could see a toe issue occurring.

So I got my back into it and had a go myself. My bingo wings were flapping around for Britain – they were covered up, but kind of make a strange slapping noise…goodness knows what any passers by were thinking – the slapping and the slamming…like a plot for a movie of the dubious adult kind!

The horses were observing our antics, with casual glances and dismissive gestures. They were probably thinking that they could have done a better job…I don’t think that I can argue with that. Especially when it came to the screwing. I had a big posh drill from my Dad, who had put in the right drill bit for me. However his drill bit was not quite like the end of the screws I had…so my efforts were futile. I have half a fence-ish. Dad is coming to the rescue tomorrow hopefully.

Other than this, my day has been fairly sedate.

I was contemplating my recent posts about diets – or fad diets – and it seems that there is just no winning. According to some people across the various social media sites that I peruse, even healthy eating is a diet in their eyes. If I wanted to be pedantic, I would say that the mere fact that you eat anything at all means that you are on a diet, as ‘diet’ simply means what we eat. The fact that the word has been manipulated into something with overtones of deprivation is down to clever marketing!

So what are the options then? If Weight Watchers is evil, and Slim Fast is the work of the devil, and Lighter Life is atrocious, and weight loss pills make you poo your pants, and Slimming World – with all of the healthy offerings – is also a ‘diet’…what is the alternative? Heart disease? Alzheimer’s? Diabetes? Cancer? A lifetime of misery?

I am not advocating that we all turn into crazed skinny wannabes. One lady that I follow on Twitter was told that she must be so desperate to be thin to resort to such measures as Slimming World. Personally, I have never eaten so well or felt so alive! The person with the bee in their bonnet happens to be the founder of a plus-sized magazine. For me, touting the ‘big is beautiful’ mantra is almost as bad as the people who peddle Slim Fast and Lighter Life. Big can be beautiful, but it can also be unhealthy…and this is my bug bear.

Once upon a time, I would cut out pictures from magazines such as Vogue and Elle. I wanted to look like the models – or rather, I wanted to wear the clothes that they were wearing. I wanted a gap between my thighs. I wanted ankle bones which stuck out – along with being able to see other bones!

I then went through my own phase of ‘big is beautiful’. I would dress up, go out, dance all night and get drunk, have a few snogs and go home with a kebab…and then I would do it all over again the following night. I convinced myself – or tried to convince myself – that I was happy. I shopped in Evans, I celebrated my curves, I had fun.

Fast forward a few years and I realise that life is about so much more than that. I am never going to look like those models – thanks to airbrushing, they don’t even look like that! I am never going to be truly happy being a ‘big girl’ either – although I feel pretty good at the moment and weigh in at over 28st! I want my health, and unfortunately the statistics show that being a healthy weight gives you the best chance of a healthy body and mind. So whilst I applaud people who want to support plus-sizers and to show that you can be happy at any size, beautiful at any size – and I agree – unfortunately I cannot and will not support those who claim that you can be healthy whilst being overweight. Perhaps you can for a while…but why take the risk? It goes back to that old Russian Roulette post I wrote!

No, I don’t so desperately want to be thin that I will put myself through the ‘pain’ of a fad diet. Instead I am just trying to eat more healthily and exercise to improve my weight and my mood – and Slimming World supports and encourages this. I am not a desperate skinny wannabe, I am just a healthy wannabe. I would rather spend a few more years with my loved ones on this planet than spend time convincing myself that my weight is everyone else’s fault but my own. Complaining that clothing should be made bigger, that plane seats should be made bigger, that elevators should be installed in place of stairs…

I want to be running up stairs, I want to be travelling around the world – lots – and so economy seats are a must, I want to be able to shop in normal clothes shops – maybe for the sizes at the back of the rails, but I want to be in there! If this means that I have to restrict processed food that is full of junk and nasties, then so be it. If this means that I have to restrict high calories foods, and make clever swaps that taste just as good, if not better, then so be it.

Does this make me desperate? Maybe. But at least I won’t be desperate for medical treatment in a few years time (hopefully!). At least I won’t be missing my niece and my nephew get married – and they won’t be attending my funeral earlier than they should be! At least I will be riding my horses. Desperate – or just realistic and not burying my head in the sand?!

Right then…the usuals…

My sleep was rubbish again…I know – I sound like a broken record! That dog kept barking, a friend sent me a text message at 6.20am…what sort of friend does that?! And then the postman needed a parcel signing for…at 7am! My Saturday morning of rest was well and truly over. After breakfast, I headed off to babysit for a while, before heading to the horses. After this, it was Asda and then home. Series 3 of 24 beckons…so I will be getting in a Jack Bauer mood this evening.

Breakfast: 0% total Greek yogurt with banana, raspberries and blueberries.

20130810-181559.jpgLunch: Two mammoth Quorn burgers! (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).

20130810-184826.jpgDinner: Quorn roast dinner with gravy (4 syns).

20130810-195824.jpgSnacks: Packet of French Fries (4 syns) and a Nakd bar (7 syns).

20130810-190015.jpgA gorgeous food day! Brekkie was a nice change, but I left it a bit too long before having lunch – it was 4pm! – and ended up craving massive burgers…so that was what I had! Thank goodness for Quorn and the syn free beef and red onion burgers. Dinner was more Quorn – with loads of veggies and a few roast potatoes. I had roast courgette, red onion and carrots, with steamed broccoli and cauliflower. Another delicious Nakd bar today – fruitier this time!

Exercise: Post slamming…my bingo wings were really wobbling! But it was good fun – ish!

Thank you for reading – I hope that you are having a fabulous weekend so far,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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