I really shouldn’t be allowed Internet access at times – especially on the run up to Christmas. Under normal circumstances, my Christmas shopping for the family would have been done by now, as I love to look for little bits and pieces throughout the year for them…and I have a major issue with not being organised.
Some people love the rush at Christmas to get everything done. My Mum is usually organised when it comes to presents, but she always leave the wrapping until Christmas Eve…which would drive me mental! As part of a ‘couple’ I am usually left with the job of organising presents for his side of the family too – which is not something that I mind at all…I just hate the extra wrapping up duties. I have watched those people in department stores, who are forced to ask if you want the gift you have just bought wrapped or not, and I see their eyes belie a little hint of hatred when you take them up on their kind offer!
Well, I am not quite so graceful. I shut myself away in a room, play Christmas music – which I end up despising within minutes, and swear to myself as the skin gets ripped off my lips by stray pieces of Sellotape…which also seem to land on the wrapping paper in the wrong place, and then rip the print off it when you try and rearrange it. Oh – I am full of the joys already!
This is why I have been writing Christmas lists and doing some shopping over the past 24 hours. If I can get ahead of the game, and wrap as I go, then it isn’t so traumatic for the local residents – they don’t hear me cussing the celebration of our saviour and dropping C-bombs everywhere. My dog and other half know just to leave me to it. They eat mince pies and watch ‘Santa Claus The Movie’ whilst I wrestle with wrapping paper and ribbons. 
Don’t even get me started on Christmas cards – argh! I always end up forgetting someone and feel awful. I once decided to donate money to charity instead of writing cards…but felt guilty and Scrooge-like and so bought cards anyway. I did the same with these charity gift things – where you pay for a goat for a village somewhere, or mosquito nets – I bought a charity gift for everyone, and then a real gift too…cost me a fecking fortune, but at least I had a feel good vibe for a while.
As I am heading off on holiday soon, and am then starting uni, and then have a jam-packed November, I thought now was as good a time as any to start shopping. Especially as I am wrapped up at home full of cold – retail therapy is always fun.
So I hit the usual suspects – and some unusual suspects – Truffle Shuffle is a current favourite of mine…full of retro stuff from my childhood. And then there is Firebox, and Pink Sumo…such fun!
After all of this online browsing, I just have one wish – and if any of you are sitting inside a magic lamp, give me a shout and help me out…I wish to be a size 8 so that I could eat my way up to a size 12/14 – maybe even a 16! Why? Well take a look at some of the things I have found today…
It’s only a fecking personalised pork pie! I was so excited…I used to love a bit of pork pie…and what better way of letting someone know you care than with some pork, a bit of fat, and some artery clogging pastry? Seriously though, I would have ordered one of these for myself – haha – I could order a Weight Loss Bitch one and auction pieces off!
How mega is that…I would far rather have had a pork pie than a carrot cake for my birthday…it really is no wonder that I got so fat!
And then there was this stuff…
Bacon flavour mayonnaise…I am in heaven! When I saw it, I did get a watery mouth…sad, but true. 
And how about this?
I have to admit to putting this on my Christmas list and then quickly deleting it…I cannot tempt fate. Maybe I will just ask for a jar of Marmite instead – get the violins out quick!
As a former lover of vodka, I thought that this was pretty cool…
I have eaten dried bugs before, and a worm drenched in tequila…so this was appealing, if not just to show off by having it in your drinks collection.
The vodka led me to remembering a rather hilarious drunken night during which a few of us decided to play ‘chubby bunny’. Please do not worry, that isn’t a euphemism for a strange sexual practice – not that I know of anyway – and I won’t be providing a ‘too mush information’ moment as I usually do…it is where you stick as many marshmallows as you can into your mouth, without swallowing, and say, ‘chubby bunny’ over and over again, often as you can. For some reason, it is quite hilarious…probably made even funnier by the black label vodka jelly we had made – oh, those were the days. Mum – if you’re reading, can I move back home and relive my youth?!
Then I found these – luxury marshmallows…I might have to pick up some of that vodka after all and give you a YouTube rendition of luxury chubby bunny!
And alcohol leads to snacks – in my case it was always a chicken kebab and chips with full fat mayo in the taxi on the way home! Although these look like a good option – I do love nuts, but rarely eat them now.
And finally, for the stonkingly rich – or stupid – amongst you…
A £349.99 handmade chocolate skull! If I was stupidly rich, I would throw a Halloween party and have these as my table centrepieces…but I will have to make do with these for £2.17!
That’s it then…my roundup of the weird and wonderful Christmas offerings…although I am still on the trawl, so you might end up viewing some more beauties.
Other than mooching and spending money online, today has been sedate. I got up and went to see to the horses, and then popped to the shop, and have then had a lazy afternoon wrapped in a blanket with fluffy socks on – I want to see the back of this cold soon so that normal(ish) service can resume. I finally managed to finish watching season 6 of 24 last night…and season 7 starts with a two hour prequel, so I will hopefully watch that today – Netflix…a blessing and a curse rolled into one!
Breakfast: 0% Greek yogurt, fig, plum, banana, raspberries and blueberries.
Lunch: Leftover green Thai curry, with bread – yes, I made cold curry sandwiches again! (2 x HEB).
Dinner: Steak, roast butternut squash and a cheesy pepper, mushroom, onion, green bean and spinach combo (2 x HEA).
Snacks: Snack a Jacks (13.5 syns).
A good food day – nice and tasty! Brekkie was the same as yesterday, with the addition of a plum; and lunch was also the same as last nights dinner…apart from the fact that I ate it cold and made it into sandwiches! Dinner was lush! I cooked the steak and roasted the butternut squash. I chopped some onions, pepper, mushrooms, and green beans up, fried them off in a pan with the spinach and then stirred through the garlic and herb Philadelphia – it makes a gorgeous sauce…so tasty! Also, I was feeling a little ‘snackist’ with my flavour choices and decided to mix it up a bit…salt and vinegar instead of sweet chilli!
Exercise: Not a sausage today! 
I hope that you have had a wonderful weekend – and that this week is kind to you!
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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