talkhealth Blog

4.5lbs off today…not too shoddy…and neither was this…

It feels like it took a long time to get this award, so it was rather nice to see a decent shift on the scales. In total I have now lost 16st 10lbs – which is 234lbs and I think is approximately 106kgs…bloody scary really!

I don’t want to harp on about how different life is now…but I might do for a moment! I can move so much better for example, and then when I was sat in the opticians this afternoon – in a chair with arms – I knew that this was something that I wouldn’t have done on my own last year, or been able to do physically. My usual clothes are hanging off me and I am able to start going through my wardrobe finding new options…most of which still have labels on. I wish I could get everyone in a room and do a dance to show them how great I feel!

Anyway, group was great. We had a chat about syns in certain types of foods and it was a real eye-opener. I am pretty good at working out the syns in my food, but apparently my consultant gets lots of food diaries where people have just written ‘chocolate bar’ and not listed the syns, or ‘apple pie and custard’ and guessed 5 syns. For me, this is totally alien – I cannot understand the logic of following a plan and consistently eating food that is synned but never taking the time to find out how may syns there are in it! Why would you do that? Why would you pay your money each week to not really bother giving yourself a chance?

If you are going to commit to something, then commit to it. Half-arsed attempts are just soul destroying. If you have no idea of the syns in a meal when you eat out, then this is fine – enjoy your meal and move on. But if you constantly eat foods and do not take the time to consider the syns in them…why bother going to group?

I have heard from people that they go to keep control. If they weren’t at group then they would put more weight on…and I do understand this logic. What I don’t understand though is the people who go but seem to make no attempt. Each to their own…but these are the buggers that always say, “Oooh, I wish I could lose xlbs in a week!”…it drives me mad as they really could if they just made the effort.

I sometimes feel as if people are on a perpetual cycle. Their life hasn’t been affected enough by their excess weight, so they mooch along and just accept things. But everyone who walks through the doors at Slimming World wants to lose weight…so why not give yourself a chance by following the flipping plan? I get asked about my motivation – what keeps me going…the simple answer is death. I was at the point where I could feel my body giving up; I would fall asleep mid-conversation and I would spend so much time in bed sleeping. So my motivation is never going back there. I would never recommend getting to this stage, so find your bloody motivation now before it gets too late!

Hmm – I am ranting…so I might give up on this one. I just know how damaging to self-esteem it can be to stay stagnant yet feel as if you are always on a diet. Just give it a good go and see what you can do!

A lovely girl joined group today. I have to admit to being a bit jealous of her! She looked perfect, she really did. When working out her target weight, it became apparent that she was already within the healthy BMI category…something that I dream of. I could not see an ‘inch to pinch’ on her and would gladly settle for her figure! Yet when my consultant and I had a private chat about my desire to trade places with this lady, we actually decided that she was pretty ace. She is joining Slimming World before her weight gets too out of control…for which she deserves credit and not jealousy.

Now I would never make anyone feel uncomfortable when they walk through the doors of group – I have been complimented actually about my lovely welcome! However it can be hard to remember that everyone has their own issues. What seems like an insignificant amount of weight to one person, is a serious matter for another. I have always said that it doesn’t matter if you have 7lbs to lose, or 77lbs to lose…Slimming World welcomes everyone – and this is one of the reasons why I love it there.

I am without doubt the biggest person in my group, yet I have always felt welcome…and so I think that should work at the other end of the scale. In fact, I once heard someone telling a lady that she really didn’t need to be at group…so, rather naughtily, I pulled them up and then went out of my way to make the lady welcome. We all need a bit of help and support!

A lovely friend of mine made the step towards joining a group today – which I am so proud of her for doing. I am sure that she won’t mind me mentioning this – she sat outside and watched people going into the group, and was reluctant to join as there were no ‘fatties’. This made me laugh, and my response was something along the lines of asking how would she feel if there was someone waiting outside watching her go in when she is at target…making the assumption that she had never been big…would she want them outside worried about joining, or would she want them inside getting the support they need? Of course, she would want them inside…so off she went and joined! It made me laugh as it reminded me of when I snuck into the swimming pool area at the gym last week to check out if there were any ‘larger ladies’ in the aquafit class! We all do it!

So other than group it has been an interesting day. I managed to get my other half packed off to his conference in London. I then had my opticians appointment…and I was there for ages but it was great! I had loads of photos taken of my eyes – the chap was fabulous. At one point he said, “Do you eat a lot of junk food?”…I asked him if he was looking at my bum rather than the pictures of my eyes when he made that assumption! Apparently my squiggly veins indicate a lifetime of junk food…caught! He said that I must have started eating junk a while ago…caught again! So I came clean and told him my story…he now thinks that he has someone who is going to be famous on his books! Haha – bless him!

The upshot is that my eyes aren’t buggered as a result of my diabetes…it’s just my addiction to reading and blogging causing the problems and I need some glasses. I tried on a few frames and had a shock when I was happy with what I saw in the mirror…I wasn’t bothered by my reflection for a change – I quite liked it actually. The problem with choosing frames after an eye test is that I couldn’t bloody see properly…and I certainly couldn’t see the price tags – maybe this is a ploy! So I think that I chose some nice frame…but I won’t really know until I see them next week!

Breakfast: Banana, followed by jacket potato, beans and cottage cheese!

Lunch: Burgers! (2 x HEA, 2 x HEB and 4 syns).

Dinner: Mixed bean ratatouille (1.5 syns) with roast sweet potato and butternut squash.

Snacks: French Fries (24 syns).

A lovely food day! Lots of filling yumminess! Brekkie was a little unconventional…the banana was immediately before weigh in, the potato immediately after it as I felt really dizzy and needed food NOW! As it was still quite early, I knew that I would still be having lunch and so just combined those for brekkie…cheating slightly! Lunch was my favourite – burgers, with gherkins and cherry tomatoes. Dinner was lovely too – a simple combo of tomato, courgette, onion, garlic, mixed beans, herbs and roasted sweet potato and squash – if my Tefal breaks anytime soon, I am buggered. And then of course it was my usual crisps.

Exercise: Just general mooching…nothing too strenuous today.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for your ongoing support!

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

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WeightLossBitch

On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!