I thought I’d write a blog post about how things have been and currently are for any who aren’t on Twitter.

Things seem to be looking up at long last. This last week, I’ve been allowed two hours of unescorted leave to the local town. To be honest, I’ve found the full two hours to be extremely stressful so I’ve only been taking about an hour of it. It’s been good though, being allowed to leave the ward without a member of staff with me but at the same time, I found the escorted leave to be less stressful! It’s also good that they allow me to walk freely around the unit. A few weeks ago, when I walked anywhere near the doors of the ward, someone would watch where I was going. Now, I not only walk near the doors, but walk through them and around the unit without being watched. So that’s good.

There’s also talk of me being taken off my section as early as tomorrow. I think the main issue is medication. I will not and don’t think I ever will comply with clopixol, not after what it did to me last time. I’m supposed to be on a depot (injection) dose of it every fortnight but clopixol was the medication that gave me painful akathisia that never fully went away. The akathisia is getting worse already, despite only one depot dose of clopixol. Last night, I had to walk around my room for a bit to be able to fall asleep and I’ve had to do that several times this past fortnight. That said about the clopixol, I would comply with quetiapine, as that is the antipsychotic I have had the fewest side effects from. I’ve been on five different antipsychotics amongst other psych meds the past five years and quetiapine was the best of a bad bunch. So I would comply with that, even though I don’t feel like I need an antipsychotic right now.

I know a lot of people are saying how they don’t believe I need to be on a section or even in hospital, and while I agree with that, there is a whole other story that I’ve not published on my blog or Twitter. It is this ‘story’ that got me sectioned and while I don’t want to go into the details of it, the ‘story’ hasn’t changed since coming into hospital. The improvements the staff see are in my mood, rather than the ‘story’ side.

When I get discharged (I’ve no idea how long away that is), I will either be in supported accommodation or in a flat of my own. I’m hoping it’s a flat of my own. I imagine if I did get a place of my own, I would have the Home Treatment Team out for a while until I was settled. And hopefully soon I’ll start having sessions with my support worker again. I’ve seen my CPN a couple of times since being in here, but both times was because she needed to do a report.

I’ve got my managers appeal against my section on the 5th, but as there’s talk of me getting off my section sooner than that, it may be cancelled! I’m hoping so, because the Tribunal I had a few weeks ago was extremely stressful and I’m not sure if I could go through another appeal.

So I think that’s it. If I remember, I’ll post an edit explaining how ward round tomorrow goes, whether or not I get off my section and if there’s a rough/actual date for discharge. Watch this space!


Katy Gray

I started suffering with the symptoms of schizophrenia at the age of 18, but it wasn't until I was 21 before I was diagnosed. My diagnosis was recently updated to paranoid schizophrenia, but I refuse to be known by a label. I am a person first and my illness last. I am always trying to break the stigma that surrounds mental health, schizophrenia in particular, and write as much as I can to try and achieve this.

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