I have finally managed to find another food item that I really do not like the taste of…pickled eggs!
Urgh! Eggs I love…but whoever decided that pickling an egg was a good idea really does need help. And the person who created choux pastry…urgh…horrid stuff. So that’s two things…two measly foods that I don’t like.
I always chuckle when people offer advice that goes along the lines of trying to imagine a food you hate when you want to eat something. They will suggest imagining the taste and the sensation of that hated food in order to put you off eating something you do like. This tactic never worked for me as I generally eat anything…that is the fecking problem! A lovely lady I know also suggested imagining cake with maggots crawling all over it…trust me, the maggots wouldn’t stand a chance if there was a cake on the table – I would fight the squirmy little buggers for it! 
Trying to wean yourself off foods that you love is just too much of a struggle at times. Instead, I think that it is healthy to have a bit…the more you tell yourself you can’t have something, the more you want it! One of my success tactics is to find really tasty alternatives to your favourite foods. As a savoury take-away lover, I can now rustle up a mean Chinese special fried rice, or a chow mein, or a Chinese curry without racking up the calories or syns. I can make a decent curry, a good Italian, a KFC replacement, a McDonalds replacement and even a kebab house replacement. If I want crisps then I have some, or I will cook some popadoms in the microwave for 0.5 syns each. If I want chocolate then I choose a small bar of Green & Blacks which takes away that craving for 4 to 5 syns.
The biggest ‘lightbulb’ moment for me though was realising that I don’t actually want the crap food. I was wanting the so-called comfort that it gave me, but not the food itself. It took a while to grasp this, and it took even longer to stop myself giving in. I began to introduce a little ‘pause’ before going for it. I would spend ten minute just thinking about why I wanted the food, and would try and find a distraction – if I was bored then I would start a new book, or check out a free online course via Coursera. If I was lonely then I would call a friend. Anything but eating!
And it does get easier – the more you say ‘no’ the more powerful it makes you feel…it is a real confidence boost. This week has been incredibly hard for me…my old cravings have been rearing their ugly heads. I could quite easily have ordered a Chinese and dug in, and eaten copious packets of crisps, and toast with butter. I haven’t, because it does get easier to recognise why I am wanting that food. I am fed up and have the holiday blues. I am a bit stressed with some ‘work’ type issues. I am worried about moving my horses to a new field and wondering how they will cope over the winter. I am stressed about both of my parents deciding to move house at the same time. I am worried about my old dog who has a little growth on the side of her head.
The point is that there is always something – there are always issues. Unless we manage to find another way of dealing with them though, we will just be creating a whole other issue that has health, weight and self-esteem complications…and the cycle gets worse.
I am not saying that it is easy to figure out why you want to eat, or even to resist – it is bloody hard…but it has to be done!
Today has been fairly sedate – actually, I am fibbing. My horses, the Shetland in particular, gave me the run around this morning. I was ankle deep in mud, sliding all over the place, trying to put their rugs on and swap them into our top field. I got the rug on my Welshie, and on my young chap, but the Shetland buggered off across the fields whilst the rug was undone…so off I went, getting within a metre of him before he buggered off again, and again, and again. Eventually, I managed to get him but he clearly didn’t want the rug on, so I trekked back across the field tripping over his rug and sliding around in the mud! After this, I popped to see the chap who owns the field they are staying in this winter…it was a nice conversation and it was fabulous to see a field full of grass…the horses will love it – and so will the bank balance – last year cost over £1000 a month on hay alone! A quick trip to Asda, and a visit to my Aunts to collect a mountain bike for my other half, was followed by an afternoon with the kids. This evening has been quiet…but I am a little worried about my eyes as they keep going all blurry, I must get in to see an optician ASAP.
Breakfast: Bananas.
Lunch: Sardine melt (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).
Dinner: Chicken and butternut squash curry.
Snacks: Christmas pud HiFi bars (12 syns).
My food today has been lush! Brekkie was just something quick. Lunch was my favourite – a tin of sardines in tomato sauce with chopped red onion, placed on a bed of spinach with toasted wholemeal rolls underneath that. I also hid some cherry tomatoes under it all before topping with cheese and blitzing in the microwave – yummy, and such a cheap way of getting some oily fish. Dinner was good too – chicken, onion, mushrooms, pepper, green beans, spinach, butternut squash, garlic, chilli, tomato purée, tinned tomatoes, chicken stock and curry powder…slowly cooked in the oven all afternoon. In fact, it was more than good…it was delicious, and I will definitely be making it again!
Exercise: Chasing my Shetland pony around the field…trying to get a rug on that he decided he didn’t want! 
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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