1 Nov 2013

The gym – argh! Positivity – argh! My other half – argh!

Optimism and positivity is something that I am keen on. At times it might seem that I am a little over-ambitious, or a little out of touch with reality…but in order to stay focused and on track with my plan then I need to stay positive. And positivity for me breeds ambition and grand plans!

My mind is quite strange at times. If I used to see a food advert on TV then I absolutely had to have that food or else it was all that consumed my mind. So if the KFC man, with his beady eyes, was on during an ad break, that was it – KFC had to be bought. If my other half casually mention having a takeaway but then later changed his mind, I would be driving myself crazy – and would probably start an argument with him – as all I could think about was food. I was bloody fixated.

The same goes for passing comments or suggestions. If someone mentioned a BBQ or popping over to see the horses and then didn’t, I would get really wound up. I like to keep to my word – so be warned, passing promises get taken seriously by me unless there is a good explanation. I guess it’s because I tend not to say something unless I mean it.

So why all of the ‘argh!’ moments? Well, my other half – bless him – can be a character. He has a penchant for moaning! He has done nothing but moan since we joined the gym…complaining about his muscles hurting him, or how tired he feels. And it really bothers me. This morning he began again on his mission of moaning and so I suggested that we skip the gym today as he said that he felt awful. Fast forward an hour and he says, “I’m just going to have a shower before the gym as I whiff”…at this point I went a little bit crazy!

As my mind is strange, as I think you are well aware of by now, the conversation about skipping the gym had embedded itself. Little tentacles from that thought had begun to spread. I started to relax. I had thought about a pyjama day. I planned on reading the pile of – ironic really – gym and health related magazines that have stacked up next to my chair. I had re-organised my day mentally in order for him to have a rest. Although at the time of deciding this, I had given him a lecture about how it was him that had wanted to join the gym, and that I didn’t want him dragging me down…and that he had best get his ass in gear next week as we are going daily.

After this conversation, the aforementioned tentacles started to spread. My gym motivation that I had woken up with had waned somewhat. My mindset had shifted without much effort or energy on my part. And then it struck me – the power of focus and positivity and how crucial it is.

Letting negative thoughts creep in can be fatal. You have to believe that you can do it. My other half is truly wonderful but can often be a glass half empty person – as was I. I have encouraged him to look at the positive aspects, and again today we had this conversation. We both fell about laughing after he had complained about how early in the day it was. He said it felt much later as he was so tired. I suggested that a more positive way of looking at things would be to welcome the hours and use them for a nice long soak in the bath. It was quite a funny moment…having finished a lecture about positivity, he had instantly gone back into a negative mindset.

This is why losing weight and making life changes can be hard. The negative feelings – I can’t stick to this plan, I feel tired, I will never do it, I have too much weight to lose…the list of negative and damaging thoughts is endless. Each of these thoughts bring you down even further…leading to more negative feelings.

I am not suggesting that you wake up tomorrow all bright and breezy, sweeping issues under the carpet! Maybe just try and put a positive spin on things – my muscles have been aching but instead of focusing on the ache, I am thinking about how wonderful it is to be using my body…the ache is a sign of how far I have come. I might not be able to have greasy takeaway sweet and sour chicken balls for dinner, but I can have healthy meatball pasta full of veggies which will take me a step further towards my goal…releasing my body from the prison the shite food had trapped it in. I might not have as much money as I used to, but I am taking some time out to save my life.

Just try and have a look at those things that drag you down in a different light…this might help…

20131101-180453.jpgRight then – the usuals…

I was rudely awoken and then rewoken a couple of hours later by my other half who was on a geek-mission today. He was off to queue up early for the new iPad Air – which he HAD to have…the day after getting his new iPhone. Living with someone who works in the technology industry can be interesting! He clambered over me on his way out and again on his way in. To pacify me, he gave me the privilege of ‘unboxing’…which is his world is a huge deal – opening a shiny Apple box is a major thing…like marriage in his books I would imagine! ;-) We then got up and worked on his project for a few hours before heading to the gym. After this we popped to the shops and then to the horses. I put them in for the night as they are moving to their new field tomorrow. This is going to be a bit of a drama I would imagine. One of my horses – my youngest – has only travelled once and that was to my yard. I haven’t been as on the ball as usual – I should have practised loading him, but haven’t. So we will see how tomorrow goes. I just don’t want to get my trailer stuck in the field. The chap has a pristine grassed yard area that I need to drive over and he will not be happy if it ends up with tyre tracks over it…I might have to brush the grass afterwards! ;-) Tonight is just going to be relaxing…more Prison Break.

Breakfast: Black pepper scrambled eggs with cheese (3 syns) and cherry tomatoes.

20131101-101203.jpgLunch: Burgers (1 x HEA and 2 x HEB) and grapes.

20131101-163623.jpgDinner: Sausage and veggie pasta (1 x HEA).

20131101-194618.jpgSnacks: Banana and crisps (12 syns).

20131101-101657.jpgA lovely food day! A nice quick brekkie before the gym – eggs with black pepper and a slice of cheese, with some cherry tomatoes. The burgers were made using the Quorn red onion ones – so they were syn free and used some healthy extras. Dinner was lovely! Linda Mc sausages cooked in the oven, with a veggie sauce made with onion, garlic, chilli, Worcester sauce, mixed herbs, yellow pepper, courgette, passata, tomato purée, spinach and mushrooms. It was delicious.

Exercise: 30 minutes on the cross trainer and 40 minutes of weights.

I am seriously loving the gym. I leave feeling tired but energised at the same time. It feels fantastic to be using my muscles…I feel alive! My other half clearly isn’t saying the same thing, in fact he has just told me that he doesn’t recommend a Weight Loss Bitch workout and that he doesn’t know how I managed to do what I did today at my size. I was pushing him a little and getting him to do the same as me…he’s feeling sorry for himself now!

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful weekend,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx



On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!

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