Not of the yoga-esque variety, but of the mind and syns variety!
I want to talk about group yesterday. First of all, I lost another 1.5lbs and was Slimmer of the Month. This is good, and I would imagine that all of my group members think that I am an ungrateful cow…they tell me that they would love to lose that amount, to look at how much I have lost before, that my muscle will be building and weighs heavier than fat, that my muscles will be holding water…and that one comment that makes my blood boil – but that I too have said to people – at least it’s a loss and it’s all in the right direction! 
Whilst I know all of these things, and I truly do understand the science behind the losses, they are not the ones sweating their balls off on the elliptical machine three times a week for 90 minutes, or prancing around in a swimming pool for 120 minutes a week, or swimming and aqua jogging on a Friday night for 90 minutes instead of having a takeaway, or lifting weights that make me want to cry for 135 minutes a week. Most of them don’t track their food religiously, or take packed lunches to a restaurant when they go out. This isn’t me saying that I am better than anyone else – everyone has their own journey and must do what they think is right for them – this is me just having a paddy that my losses are not reflecting the effort and energy that I am putting in! 
This is week five of the six it supposedly takes for your body to adjust to the exercise. And let’s face it, I have gone from doing not so much to seven session a week. So my poor body probably is in shock and, although my mind is loving it, my body might be rebelling! Next week will be week six, and so I am not sure what next weeks weigh in will bring…but if the one after that does not bring me a massive early Christmas present, then my toys will be flung all over the fecking place!
I have had lots of lovely advice from people about what to try and how to shake my food up. The issue I have is that what I am doing was working perfectly well before the exercise. I checked it out with the PT and guys at the gym and they think what I am doing should be working…they just want me to have patience…which those who know me well will testify that I don’t have much of! So I don’t want to have a knee-jerk reaction and change my eating until I have allowed this exercise stuff to settle as it were.
Given that I still have 15st-ish to lose, I need to have some tricks up my sleeve for when the going gets tough and I am much, much closer to my target. No Success Express or Fast Forward, no extra syns, no cutting back on syns etc. So it is business as usual for now, with a bit of moaning and complaining thrown in. It is not that I don’t listen to the advice, I am just choosing not to take it at the moment!
Right then – on a positive note I got down into the 25st bracket…albeit I now weigh 25st 13.5lbs…so JUST within that bracket, but it’s good to see those numbers change. Considering that I was in the 43st bracket when I started, it is not too shoddy at all! The Slimmer of the Month thing was a boost too as I was feeling a bit sad yesterday.
Group was a good one again. I must say that it wasn’t really relevant for me…it was about alcohol and flexible syns…and I don’t drink or have flexible syn moments…but it was a great way of highlighting some of the things us losers do.
First up was the alcohol. Goodness me – we looked at a measured amount of wine and then looked at a typical glass we would pour. This particular poured glass came in at 8 syns. It didn’t look huge, and was in a glass smaller than any I have seen at friends houses! Then of course you have to consider the dinner table top-ups when people add to your glass if it’s looking low. Alcohol is crazy! I would rather eat a couple of bags of French Fries…but I could see that everyone else in the room but me was interested in the alcohol talk…I am in the minority on this point I think.
I haven’t drunk for ages. To be honest, I have seen the damage that binge drinking can do…I have met a number of alcoholics and knew some personally. I used to drink crazy amounts on nights out – it was nothing for me to drink a bottle of wine, half a bottle of vodka and have over ten triples (a double vodka and diet coke with a shot of tequila thrown in) – I spent a vast amount of money on partying. And then I stopped. My other half doesn’t drink, I used to drink socially and am not in that social circle anymore…so I don’t do it. The damage that drinking can do is immense…so I stopped.
There are people who tell me that they cannot go without a bottle or two of wine each night. They don’t feel ‘normal’ without it. They would say that they have no issue with alcohol. I would question that! This ‘normal’ that they feel with drink is probably drunk! They have said that they feel sluggish if they don’t have it – I would say that they were in the throes of dealing with a hangover and the alcohol shifting out of their system. I don’t know enough about alcoholism to comment with any authority…I just knew that it was an added complication that I could do without. It doesn’t taste good – reminds me of wee or vinegar most of the time, it is high in calories, makes you act like a dick, costs a lot, leaves you dehydrated and leaves your judgement impaired…that’s my view on drinking!
For me, if you have to eat and drink to have a good time, then perhaps you aren’t in the right environment. I just like to chat to people, get to know them, have a good laugh…all of which can be done without the support of food and drink. Of course this stuff is seen as sociable, and you don’t want to feel like a party pooper – but really, just take an objective look at it – does the food and drink make you more fun, or could you have a good laugh without it? Drink loosens people up…or so they think…as I am often the designated driver, I get to witness this loosening up firsthand, and it’s not pretty!
The other thing we discussed in group was flexible syns. These are designed to be used for a meal, and not a whole day! So if you plan on going out at night, stay on track for breakfast and lunch, enjoy your meal, and then get back on track the following morning. No eating whatever the hell you want during the day because you know you will blow it at night and then feeling so guilty that you try and starve until the next weigh in.
My consultant made a really good point about our slim friends – those lucky buggers that have never had a weight problem. They would be all business as usual about their day – normal breakfast, normal lunch, a nice three course meal with drinks, and then back to their normal breakfast, lunch and dinner the following day. None of the guilt, none of the stress, none of the panicking that us losers experience. So take a leaf out of your friends’ book!
I did have to laugh at one point. There is a chap in our group who is…militant I think the right word would be. He decided to lose weight and nothing was stopping him – he takes a very logical approach to his weight loss. He could not grasp why on earth people would feel guilty after eating out, and could not understand why you might want to allow 100 flexible syns in an evening. He got quite heated and was getting all militant. I just told him that his approach was fine if it worked for him, but that 99.9% of the people in the room did not think like that – we are emotional creatures who have, in the main, had a lifelong battle with our weight. He had never tried losing weight before and does not have that understanding or experience of the emotional aspects…even though he does blow his top every once in a while and get all emotional!
He is definitely a character, but I tried to remind him that Slimming World Image Therapy was not specifically designed for him and his needs alone…the same can be said for me. I personally would not choose flexi syns – I would either take my own food, or I would eat before I went out, and I wouldn’t be drinking alcohol either. But the vast majority of the group benefited greatly from the wisdom of our consultant. The whole point of flexi syns is to remove the guilt…not to give you a free pass to go through the gorge/guilt/starve/gorge/guilt/starve cycle.
I probably haven’t done the discussion justice – and I certainly didn’t portray the difficult nature of this chaps objections…you had to be there to witness his horror at how some of us losers behave. He absolutely cannot ‘get’ our viewpoint at times…he once mentioned becoming a consultant himself…luckily my consultant managed to gloss over that!
I guess the moral of the story is that you have to choose. Choose to eat out, or choose not to. Whichever choice you make though, you need to own it and enjoy it. Do not allow that guilt to creep in! If you have allowed yourself flexible syns, then load that buffet plate up and enjoy each and every mouthful, or enjoy that three course dinner and take your time – savour it. Flexi syns come along once in a while, so enjoy them…but don’t make them a habit!
Right then – the usuals…
Today has been good. I managed to get my backside into gear at the gym – more about this coming up – and then checked on the horses, popped to the shops, grabbed a nice long shower before heading out to meet a lady that I chat to who found me via my blog. She was absolutely lovely! It was one of those ‘shall I wear a carnation moments’…but it all went well. We chatted for ages and it felt like we had known each other for ages. Such a lovely lady…and she gives good advice too! I am hoping to see her again soon. I then had to go home and prepare dinner…a bit miffed that my other half hadn’t done it to be honest as butternut squash and sweet potatoes take ages to roast in our oven as it’s buggered, and putting them in at 8pm meant it was a long wait for dinner…not good for my mood! Other than this, I caught another couple of episodes of Breaking Bad which I am loving.
Breakfast: Banana porridge (5 syns).
Lunch: Burgers! (2 x HEA, 2 x HEB and 2 syns).
Dinner: Roast sweet potato and butternut squash, with mixed bean ratatouille, broccoli and carrots.
Snacks: Nakd bar (7.5 syns).
A good food day today. My other half is trying to get me to replicate a week of eating that correlates with a good loss! So he is sneaking in meal suggestions despite my resolve of not making changes too soon. It seems that one of my better weeks was when I ate lots of burgers…so this burger-loving girl is going to take one for the team and will have to eat burgers under duress (not that much duress involved at all really!). I found out, courtesy of Ang, that my Asda meat free burgers have gone down to 0.5 syns instead of a syn each…even more reason to eat them! So – brekkie was the usual, lunch was burgers, and dinner was a nice combo of veggies and beans…it’s quite tasty too.
Exercise: 30 minutes on the elliptical machine and 50 minutes of weights.
I was not in the mood for prancing around on the elliptical machine today…and said as much on Twitter and on the FB page. I was instead going to double up on the weights and do two sessions of what I normally do. So not shirking a workout, but just adapting it a little…yet I still felt guilty! I adore the weights and could happily lift for as long as my body allowed me too…but cardio…urgh! I really have to push myself. I suppose it is good that I like the weights, as I burn more calories when I lift than when I do cardio. Plus, the ‘afterburn’ effect that comes with weight lifting means that your body burns calories well after your workout has finished. They aren’t for everyone…but I always think people should give them a go! Despite your fears, you won’t end up looking like a muscle-bound freak of nature either! I allowed myself to be socially engineered today though. My other half recommended that we just do 5 minutes on the elliptical machine to warm up – knowing full well that once I was on it, I would keep going for 30 minutes…and I did…he’s learning the tricks of my trade it seems!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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