So yesterday, I blogged here saying about how I wasn’t 100% happy with my leave being unescorted, how I wanted to stay on my section and that I was going to move into a flat of my own. Those three things have changed overnight. (Having support worker sessions and the medication issues are still the same.)

Last night, the akathisia from the depot I am currently on was making me feel awful. The restlessness wasn’t going away with walking or with procyclidine and as a result, I felt absolutely awful. When my parents came in to visit me, I started crying almost immediately and cried throughout the entire two-hour visiting period. The pain and horribleness from the depot made me feel a sharp sense of impending doom, like I was about to die or something equally awful was going to happen.

During the visiting period, I confessed a few things to my parents that I hadn’t even told the nurses and in the end, managed to conquer a lot of the horrible thoughts I’ve been having. In one hour, I had gone from horrible thoughts to much more pleasant ones, and while I was still crying, I felt a whole lot better.

So much so, that I took my unescorted leave with my mum today. I have only allowed them to accompany me once before and it didn’t go too well. However, today’s leave went really well and I have asked the nurses if they can phone my psychiatrist and get me off the section. Unfortunately, he’s off sick now so I’ll have to ask again tomorrow. I’ve said that if I can’t get off the section, could I have more leave, which has been met with approving looks so I’m hopefully I’ll get that at least.

I’ve also said that I’ll move back in with my parents rather than a flat of my own. This could mean getting out a lot quicker, and my estimation is that if I get overnight leave at ward round next week that goes well, I could be out the week after (or the week after that). I’m hoping that I’ll be discharged in 13 days from today (the 19th) so fingers crossed for that!


Katy Gray

I started suffering with the symptoms of schizophrenia at the age of 18, but it wasn't until I was 21 before I was diagnosed. My diagnosis was recently updated to paranoid schizophrenia, but I refuse to be known by a label. I am a person first and my illness last. I am always trying to break the stigma that surrounds mental health, schizophrenia in particular, and write as much as I can to try and achieve this.

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