Ever had someone tell you that you look tired?  How did that make you feel? Uh it probably kind of made you feel like crap.  Ya if you didn’t feel like crap before, you definitely did after.  Now imagine always feeling like crap, for example, me.   See each and every day, I feel pretty crappy, but ya wanna know what makes feeling like crap even worse?  When someone tells me, “Hey you look like crap!”  Okay, so they don’t say it in those words.  It typically sounds more like

  1. “ya, I can tell you don’t feel good.”
  2. “Man, you look tired today”
  3. “You must not feel very good, I can tell”

Those may all sound different to you.  But to me, they all mean “Hey Crohnie, you look like crap today,” and sometimes with the an additional “so get your crap together!”
See, when I put it that way, it doesn’t sounds very nice does it?   So please refrain from telling me how bad I look, because it usually means I feel worse than normal, and by you pointing it out, it is only going to make me feel worse, much much worse. Instead why don’t you try telling me how good I look.   I will always take a compliment, but truth be told telling me, “you don’t look sick” is not a compliment.  It just means that I look like everyone else, so no that does not count as a compliment.
Okay new suggestion, going back to the age old rule, “if you don’t have anything nice to say,” don’t say it at all.  Bottom line if you don’t have anything nice to say about my appearance, keep it to yourself…forever…I don’t want to hear it.   So that is my rant of the day, and I am positive is applicable to other people suffering from Illness.  Next time I look like crap, please keep it to yourself, so I can go on pretending that I don’t have an awful disease in my not so normal life.


Sarah Brocker

Hi my name is Sarah Brocker and I have Crohn's Disease. I've got 8 scars and am missing two feet of intestines and my life isn't normal, but whose life is normal? I want to use my experiences to help you, even if it means sharing embarrassing experiences. I am also looking to break the stigmas associated with IBD in order to make living with IBD just a little bit easier. All I want to do is help, so please, let ME help YOU!

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