Or JFDI as a friend of mine says!
Just fecking do it…
Today’s blog post was inspired by a conversation that Mr WLB and I had after my weigh-in yesterday. He asked me if I was disappointed by the result – 1.5lbs off…just 0.5lbs off my 19.5st award. How can I answer that? Of course I would have loved that next award, but fecking hell…I have lost nearly 19.5st!
I said that had you told me back in February 2012 – which was when this journey started…although I did bugger around for the first six months – that I would be well on my way to shifting 20st a couple of years later…I would have taken it. I would have snapped your hand off!
The truth was that I just did not think it possible.
You have seen me write about the struggles that I had with the ‘professionals’ – constantly being told that surgery was my only option or else I would be dead by the time I hit my 35th birthday. Being told by an eating disorders specialist that my weight was not my fault. Encouraged to try VLCDs (very low calorie diets). Offered weight loss pills.
I was convinced that I couldn’t tackle my weight without a magic cure.
I ended up believing that it was not my fault…and so I gave up. If it was not my fault, and surgery was my only option, then why bother? What could I do when all of the people in the know were giving me these messages?
There is always going to be something that stops us. One of my favourite quotes is this one…
“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” – Mark Victor Hansen
If you have genuine issues in your life that prevent you from moving forwards then what do you do? Do you wait until that issue is no longer before you JFDI? What if that issue in an unsupportive partner – or a child with behavioural issues that takes immense effort to deal with – or an illness which makes losing weight hard? These are issues that are likely to be there for a hell of a long time. So do you wait…or do you work out a plan of action and take it day by day?
I set myself some tough targets when it comes to weight loss. I wanted to go from 43st 5.5lbs to 11st – that is still my aim…and whilst it may be over-ambitious I am bloody well going for it, despite the professionals telling me to be happy if I get to 17st. I set myself the challenge of losing 14lbs each month. Some months I hit this, some months I don’t…but I don’t give up. I set myself the challenge of joining the gym. I bought a treadmill when I was 37st and I built up my fitness. There were days when I was physically sick just walking for a few minutes…but I didn’t give up.
I may not hit all of my targets, but I don’t give up.
What is the alternative? I know two ways of living – this way…or the old way. As the old way was killing me, and is no longer an option, what choice do I have? I know which way of living I prefer. It may not be smooth sailing but I am heading in the right direction. There are difficult days…but nothing is as difficult for me as trying to exist at 43st 5.5lbs!
Actually, I am going to have to change my mind about something I said earlier. I would not have been happy with an offer of a 20st weight loss in a 26 month-ish period…I would have wanted 26st off. But back then, I still believed that surgery was going to be my magic cure. I truly believed that I would shift my weight after having life-threatening surgery. I believed that I would lose at least a stone each month via the surgery route. I know that this is bollocks now…I work with people who have had surgery…and my results outstrip theirs time and time again. But back then, I thought it was my only option…my life-saver.
Take a look at the above quote again. The bit that really strikes a chord with me is this – ‘With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.’ I cannot describe how accurate this is. As I said, back then I believed that surgery was my only option…but as I embarked upon this journey I did get – and continue to get – stronger and stronger. I truly believe that I can do this…but I didn’t back then…when I started I was a wreck. I am more skilled, more confident, and more successful now…and I think there is another saying about ‘success breeding success’.
You just have to get started. You have to realise that your old ways need to change. And once you start to make those changes, and start to feel good, and start to see some results…it’s hard to think about going back.
Of course there will be shite days. Everyone has those regardless of their weight…we are human! But you have to keep fighting. You have to fight for the life that you want because nobody will hand it to you. Surgery won’t fix you. Pills won’t fix you. Faddy diets won’t fix you. None of these things are an easy option. They are not options that I would choose…but they are not easy options, and they can actually cause more harm than good.
So fight. JFDI. Work out your plan of action and bloody well go for it. Don’t wait for the ‘perfect’ time…perfect doesn’t exist!
If I had sat there back in February 2012 and waited for perfect then I am convinced that I wouldn’t be able to write this…as I truly believe that I wouldn’t have survived that long. I turn 33 this year…I think the doctors were being generous in using my 35th birthday as a threat!
So then, today. Today has been good. I managed to get a bit of sleep this morning – as Mr WLB let me stay in bed for a bit – and it was lovely. We then headed to the gym and I got in a decent cardio session before my PT tomorrow. There was a gym-prick there though who wolf-whistled at a lady walking past him. I couldn’t quite believe that someone would do this, so I looked over and he looked horrified…freaked out that I might have thought he was whistling at me. Seriously – I have shifted over 19st of useless flesh and don’t want to be adding 14st of even more useless flesh in an instant! I do wonder quite what he hoped for by whistling. Did he think that she would jog over and rip off her Lycra for him to take her there and then on the sweaty gym mat he was sitting on? Well, with the level of class and respect directed at her, I doubt that he was after a romantic candle-lit meal! I mouthed the word ‘wanker’ – he got the picture, and I got on with my workout! We then went to see the horses. Then it was Asda…where I got spotted plucking my chin hairs in the car – the light is perfect in the middle of the car-park…a girl with PCOS, dark hair, and tweezers needs to grab every opportunity to pluck! Then it was home for the day – a couple of coaching sessions, a read of Slimming World magazine, and some work for my next university assignment. I caught up with a lovely friend too! We also had a visit from a Jehovah’s Witness crew. I have no issue with religion…but for me, it’s like a penis – I don’t want it ramming down my throat unless I have agreed to it! Mr WLB is so incredibly polite that this is now the fourth knock on the door in the past week – as I said, I don’t mind religion but it strikes me that the JW lot are quite indoctrinated…I might have to have words with Mr WLB and give him some suggestions as to what to say when they next knock. In fact he has just told me off for writing this…saying it’s vulgar and that if someone in their 70s was reading…well, I think they might have stopped reading a while ago given my love of the ‘C’ word!
Breakfast: Banana porridge (5 syns).
A good food day I guess…it just wasn’t that exciting! My usual porridge for brekkie. Then I tried to make a Pasta’n’Sauce and veggie combo…but it ended up like a soup. It was okay – plenty of superfree – and fuelled me up…although I did say to Mr WLB that I could have easily swapped it for a portion of chips, a jumbo sausage, and curry sauce! This led to a mini debate about chips…he thinks that a cone of chips would now be sufficient…whereas I doubt that a cone of chips is ever enough! Dinner was nice. I made this a while ago and it’s a recipe that I have posted on the Facebook page before – and I love the cheese in it…sounds strange, but tastes delicious! And then my rice cakes as my evening munchies.
Exercise: Cardio day! 20 minute on the elliptical machine, 13.5 minutes on the hand-bike, and 18 minutes on the treadmill.
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx