Goodness me…I have been having a few sleepless nights over my future!
I am going through the process – again! – of wondering what I should do with myself.
My old life involved all sorts – recruitment, resourcing, assessment, leadership and development, mentoring, coaching, general HR, project management. I started my career in sales, and then fell into recruitment and developed from there when I went to study in the evenings for six years – getting a PgDip and Masters and various other qualifications.
The problem with my old life was the people that I chose to work with I guess. Most of my roles were stand-alone positions and so I reported into operations directors, or people who didn’t necessarily specialise in my field – which was great, as I developed decision-making skills, could work autonomously, and frankly had to learn to deal with change and fly by the seat of my pants at times! They were a great bunch of characters. When I finally did get what I thought would be great people to work for…well, it went a big wrong and all I learnt was how I didn’t ever want to behave…rather than getting the guidance and development that I was promised and was seeking, although I suppose learning what not to do is guidance of sorts!
When I made the decision to focus on my health, it was always with the intention of going to back into my old field of work at some point in time. Mr WLB and I would also love to become foster carers…so it was with this in mind that I started on my health kick.
Little did I realise how many doors this could potentially open. I never imagined that I would write the blog, or have my Facebook page, and be able to reach out to so many people. I never imagined that I would be at one of the UKs top universities working towards a second Masters degree. I never imagined how many amazing people I would get to chat with, or the people that would crawl out of the woodwork looking to ‘help’ me either! 
I guess this is the bit that I find most frustrating. So for example I have had people make promises about me working with them, or offering me a book deal – a book deal…me?! I am just a fat girl trying to lose weight and get a life back…writing a book was never something I considered. Actually, I lie…I remember trying to write an erotic novel once…pretty much as in real-life, it was much ado about nothing!
So there are people making all sorts of promises…yet I doubt their motives. My motive is to reach out to as many people as possible, showing them that weight loss and a healthy lifestyle is achievable. I think their motive might be money-making. Now, don’t get me wrong, I need to earn money. My roof is leaking, I need new electrics in the house, I have no pension or savings, my boiler is temperamental, Freddie Freelander is apparently very rusty underneath, my Masters is going to cost me almost £10k…I have no money to speak of…but I am happier than I have ever been. So money is not my motivator!
I have had a weight loss pill company offering me tens of thousands of pounds if they can use my before and after pictures to promote their pills. Yes – this has seriously happened…and I politely told them to ‘feck off’…and they doubled their offer. Morals for me are stronger than pound notes though! Don’t believe these before and after pictures you see…the person may well have shifted their weight…but I seriously doubt that it was by using a weight loss supplement! 
And then there is my coaching. I absolutely adore my coaching and had the most amazing text off a lady that I work with this weekend…the changes in her mind have been fantastic…it makes it all worthwhile! So the coaching is going well…and I adore it…but it would be tough to make a full-time living from it given how emotional it is…and I only like working with a handful of people at any given time so that they get the support they need from me.
So what do I do?
I have spoken before about work having given me an identity. I feel that I have lost my purpose almost. I guess my purpose now is to just keep going…to show that massive weight loss is achievable…to share this journey.
But what happens when that weight has shifted?
I often get told to become a Slimming World consultant, but I know myself and I know that I don’t have the patience. Can you imagine me dealing with a Pizza Lady?! It’s one thing loving her to bits as a fellow group member…but trying to get weight loss results from a group with people who haven’t even read the bloody book…no, no, no – I couldn’t do it!
So if anyone fancies a business planning session, or mentoring a fat girl who wants to change the world – or at least the lives of a few people – then give me a shout!
If you have any suggestions – legal ones! – as to what may be good options for me in the future, then shout up too.
I do have an idea of where I am going…if only you could get a glimpse into your life ten years down the line to know if what you are thinking of is the best plan though. I have made so many mistakes, and learnt from them, but it would be nice to minimise the mistakes in future.
In the meantime, enjoy the rest of your Easter weekend. My binge thoughts of yesterday are a distant memory now. My day has been chocolate free! I will keep going and do the only thing that I know will get me to that target…healthy mind, healthy food, healthy movement.
I have spent time with family today, seen the horses – the bloody old woman caught me up at the stables in my PJs! She is convinced that my Welsh Cob likes her and therefore this means that she should train him. He likes all humans…he thinks we are walking carrot vending machines. One trainer I worked with has said that my horse thinks he’s a human…so he needs a careful eye as he’s a switched on cookie. I have told her that we can look at groundwork with him when I get back off holiday…she suggested 30 minutes twice a day in order for him to be top class in a year…hmmmm…I just want to take things slowly with him and am not really interested in rosettes. Actually, I lie – I am very interested in rosettes and so unbelievably competitive that if I didn’t win I would throw a major tantrum…taking a loss in good grace is not in my vocabulary. So I tend to steer clear of shows for that very reason! So yes, she caught me in my PJs and kept me talking for ages, whilst Mr WLB was nudging me as he wanted to get back for the football. A quiet evening ahead I think – I have caught up with Person of Interest and Revenge…I am wondering what to watch now!
Breakfast: Smoked bacon, Linda Mc sausages, eggs, mushrooms, red onion, cherry tomatoes, and spinach.
Lunch: Lamb, cabbage, carrots, and cauliflower – I forgot to take a picture as it was an impromptu offering from my sister…and rather lovely too…her Easter treat for me!
Dinner: Slimming World kebabs with roasted veggies, pittas and cheese (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).
Snacks: Cheats Black Forest gateaux (13 syns) and some fish sticks…although the dog ate the vast majority of these!
Brekkie was lovely. As the pictures shows – bacon, sausages, eggs, mushrooms, onion, spinach, and cherry tomatoes. Lunch was courtesy of my sister – very lean roasted lamb, with some cabbage, a little cauliflower, and carrots…I avoided parsnips, potatoes, and gravy as it was an unplanned meal…an unplanned but very tasty meal! Dinner was inspired by the new ‘Fakeaway’ book…kebab meat in pittas…I added roasted veggies and cheese with mine. And then my pudding was the Nakd bars, 0% Total Greek yogurt, and cherries all mixed together. I did have a couple of seafood sticks too…but the dog snaffled a load of those!
Exercise: Zilch!
Thank you for reading,
Weight Loss Bitch xxx
WeightLossBitch
On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!
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