talkhealth Blog

After my tough day yesterday, I decided to take a look back in time.

There is a ‘thing’ on Twitter at the moment that lets you look back at the first ever ‘tweet’ you sent…I didn’t bother so much with this, as it was Mr WLB who got me started on Twitter…ever one for honesty – he actually pretended to be me for the first couple of weeks as I couldn’t stand it!

I took a look back at my first ever blog post instead…the beast that got the ball rolling. It was called ‘Pubic Omelette‘ and if you take a look at it, I think you’ll agree that both the blog and I have come a long way!

I then got thinking about how much progress I have made in the last year…which led me to reading my 1st June 2013 blog post. I have decided that it’s actually quite relevant and so have decided to plagiarise massively today.

What I thought was a little spooky was that last night I posted a ‘goodnight’ message on Facebook which said something along the lines of, ‘Don’t compare your chapter 1 with someone else’s chapter 20′…this is particularly apt as I would always look at how much progress people had made and never dreamt that I could do the same.

So here it is then…my blog post from 1st June last year…

‘I wanted to take some time to let you know that this period of time that I have been losing weight with Slimming World has not always been plain sailing. I joined Slimming World – for about the fifteenth (more like thirtieth!) bloody time – back in February 2012, yet I didn’t start writing my blog until July 2012. And it was August 2012 that I really kicked myself up the arse – well, the diabetes diagnosis played a big part in that kick – so most of my posts have been demonstrating weight losses….

Yet I wouldn’t want people to think this has always been the case; I struggle just as much as the next person! To demonstrate this, I thought that I would conduct a whistle-stop tour of the first few months…

Weeks one and two were okay – I lost 13.5lbs in the first week and 2.5lbs in the second week. The second weeks weight loss annoyed me, as I had behaved myself more than in the first week…so I remember going home and ordering a big stinking dirty Chinese takeaway! I then made up some silly excuses and avoided group for a couple of weeks, and went back having put on 3lbs…followed by a gain of 8.5lbs a couple of weeks later…as I had again avoided group.

I have no idea why my consultant stuck with me! She kept encouraging me, sending me lovely text messages, and never judged me for sending the worst excuses for not being able to get to group via text – in fact, she offered to pick me up and take me to group one week when I fibbed and said that my car was ‘poorly’! I would love a Slimming World consultant to release a book about the excuses they hear…a few of mine would be in there no doubt.

After my 8.5lbs gain, I went back the following week and had lost 19.5lbs…but then put 14.5lbs of that back on when I went again a couple of weeks later. My online graph on the Slimming World website resembled the path that a rollercoaster takes! The following three weigh ins were okay, with losses of 2.5lbs, 7lbs and 1.5lbs…but then I put on 8.5lbs.

I knew I was due to see the psychologist at the hospital as part of the route to weight loss surgery which, at this point in time, I was adamant I wanted…as I could see no other way of losing my weight and all of the professionals had told me that it was my only option. I mean, look at the first few months – you could hardly call it a steady loss and, despite the big losses, I had only managed to keep just over a stone off. In preparation for my meeting with the ‘head man’ I made an effort to lose a bit, in the hopes that he would tick the box and approve me as fit for surgery. I had a brief interim meeting with him in May, after my initial meeting with him in February which kicked the Slimming World efforts off.

Alas, he saw straight through my claims of not having binged for months! He told me in no uncertain terms that unless I lost weight over the next couple of months, he would not approve my surgery. I was in tears in his office – witnessed by my Mum who attended the appointment with me – begging him to let me have this surgery. I told him that I wanted my life back and that this was my only option.

So imagine my joy, as I saw him again in late July, having just been weighed and knowing that I had lost just over 2st. He was pleased, and said that he would look at discussing my situation with the rest of the team, with a view to approving my surgery. He then asked me how I was getting on with my diabetes. “Diabetes, what diabetes?!” was my reply. He confirmed that the blood tests he had asked me to have at our last visit showed that I was diabetic. And then he quickly whisked me off to see a diabetic specialist.

That was it for me! Sod the surgery – I had diabetes to deal with. I had now spoken to this psychologist a couple of times and his words were sinking in, not just about the diabetes, but my behaviour with food in general. So I just decided to stop being a dick; I was putting my life in serious jeopardy and my family and friends were really concerned.

The local takeaways wondered what they had done to offend me, and Walkers and Cadburys had analysts beavering away, trying to identify why sales had dropped! I was a reformed(ish) character…well, I had a few false starts, but to be honest the bloody diabetes medication made me so ill that I just had to stop the crappy food until my stomach settled down. And by the time that had happened, I was starting to have good and consistent losses and didn’t want the rubbish food any longer.

And I had also begun my blog too…not seriously, as I was only writing as and when. Like most things weight-loss related, I was only blogging as and when I could be bothered…but my New Years resolution in 2013 was to blog everyday – lucky you!

I wanted to try and share my graph from the Slimming World website with you all. It isn’t brilliant – bring back the old graph SW! – but I think you will get the gist…

You can see the wiggly line in the first six months – up and down like a streetwalkers knickers, as my very-late Nan would say! Then you see a downward trend with a couple of tiny blips which, for me, is quite pleasing to the eye. That little line heading towards my target right at the end gives me an idea of when I might get to target. According to my very clever measuring device (the edge of the packet from my diabetes pills!) it looks like – if things keep going at the current rate – that I will be looking at getting to target in the summer months of 2016…amazing! I am realistic enough to know that there will be bumps in the road ahead, but I just want to keep things positive and focused.

So there we have it then, my journey so far! A few false starts – or takeaways! – and lots of bumps to come…but progress is being made and I am making changes that I will carry with me for life. And you cannot expect stuff like that to be straightforward and easy. One thing is certain though, I do NOT want the weight loss surgery…I can do this myself!’

That was interesting. Looking back at this time last year – with a few updates included – it strikes me that I was still very much in the stage of convincing myself that I could do this without surgery…whereas now it isn’t in question. So much so that I removed myself from the surgery list a few months ago.

What has helped I think – given my tough day yesterday – is witnessing how I felt last year and comparing it with present day. That utter belief I have in myself now is quite powerful. Some might say it’s arrogance…and if so, then I am very fecking arrogant! I truly believe that I can do this – so keep watching this space…I will try and remember to do another ‘year ago today’ comparison on 1st June next year!

Other than my reminiscing, today has been quiet. I went to see my niece and nephew and sister…and my Dad was there too. We recorded ‘get well soon’ videos for Mr WLB and made him a picture…

…which made him a little teary! My Dad was also telling me how he’d been showing my ‘before’ and ‘current’ pictures to a lad he works with who is a fitness fanatic and this guy couldn’t believe the difference…he was floored apparently. It was lovely to hear my Dad say that he’d been sharing my pictures…shows how proud he is of me I think! Then I came home and tried to do everything but start my final assignment for this year. I eventually got started – after writing most of this – and feel a bit better now that I have something to work with. Other than this, I prepped for my coaching sessions and got organised-ish for the coming week as I have a fair bit on! Oh, and Mr WLB has been smoke-free for three days now…he has his jar next to mine on the mantlepiece and my niece gave him a ‘well done’ sticker to put on it today!

Breakfast: Bacon, mushrooms, eggs, cherry tomatoes, and spinach.

Lunch: Ryvita, cheese, smoked salmon, and veggies (2 x HEA and 2 x HEB).

Dinner: Beef and veggie curry.

Snacks: Raspberries, blueberries, and a Nakd bar (8 syns).

Another lovely food day. My usual Sunday cooked brekkie was lovely – smoked bacon with mushrooms, wilted spinach, cherry tomatoes, and eggs. Lunch was again a current favourite and the same as I had yesterday! Dinner was a gorgeous curry. I used a Mrs Shah’s mild curry powder and added beef, onion, garlic, butternut squash, green pepper, mushrooms, and tomatoes. My snacks were lush too – a pecan pie Nakd bar with blueberries and raspberries.

Exercise: Nothing – a blissful rest day!

Thank you for reading,

Weight Loss Bitch xxx

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WeightLossBitch

On a health and fitness driven journey to lose over 32st / 448lbs / 203kgs – yes, it is a considerable amount – I am committed to losing my excess weight without the aid of weight loss surgery, diet pills, or quick fixes…as there aren’t any! Changing my eating habits and building up my fitness levels, along with addressing the ‘head issues’ will be crucial in order for me to achieve my goal. Living in England as a 31 year old super morbidly obese woman can be challenging to say the least. I have been shouted at in the street and verbally abused far too many times to mention; hence the name ‘Weight Loss Bitch’…the day I am just called a ‘bitch’ instead of a ‘fat bitch’ will be the day that I know I have cracked my weight loss! With many reasons to lose this weight I am documenting my journey for a number of reasons. Firstly, I would like to keep a record of the ups and downs, the highs and lows, and the challenges I face with such an enormous task to tackle. Secondly, I would also like to inspire and encourage other people who are in a similar situation and to show them that significant amounts of weight can be lost naturally…with a bit of motivation, hard work, dedication and will power. Thirdly, all of the blogging, Facebook-ing, Tweet-ing, Pinterest-ing and YouTube-ing keeps me occupied and keeps my fingers out of the fridge!