As most now know Robin Williams committed suicide. I think the immediate comments on Twitter summed up the widespread ignorance of the impact of severe depression and anxiety in our society when one wrote, ‘So What has Robin Williams got to be depressed about?’
Within 24 hours attitudes changed and the fantastic Mrs Doubtfire initiative went viral and is positively helping raise awareness of mental health issues globally.
But when someone has a stroke, individuals suffer residual physical disabilities but the long term emotional impact is often extreme. One woman even blogged on a closed group in Facebook, ‘I was always very independent. Now walking from one room to another wears me out. My friends & sisters turned their backs on me. I hate living. I wish my stroke had killed me.’
Because of these often widespread and desperate views, I feel very passionately that we must raise awareness of stroke and severe depression. Furthermore, we must not make stroke campaigning always about stroke PREVENTION an F.A.S.T.
‘It amazes to see how selfish some people can be. They can try to justify it by saying it’s just too hard, or that the stroke patient isn’t the same, but that’s just life. Life gets hard and things happen that flat out stink. That in no way should affect your commitment to a loved one. My husband’s family rarely come to see him (maybe one person will come once every 3-4 months and stay for maybe an hour) and they only live about 30 minutes away. I know it bothers him that they don’t come, so I continuously invite them, but they always say they’re just too busy. I understand being busy, but if you can’t make time once a month or so to come and check on a nearby brother or son that needs you, then you need to look at your priorities.’
‘We have similar problems and I look at in that they have the problem! What bothers me is when they come and try to tell me and Paul how we should be doing things! That’s none of their concern they should simply come and visit your relative, and show support in that way. But nothing stranger than folk! Xxx’
‘I can’t count the number of times I was told, ‘Don’t ask me to go back it’s was just too hard,’ like it happened to them. I had to release my demons & digest my trauma, I was felt muzzled.’
‘…people need to get over themselves and think of how the stroke survivor feels. You don’t like hospitals? Neither does the stroke survivor. Visit them anyway. It’s hard on you to see a loved one in this condition? It’s hard on the stroke survivor to be in this condition. Be there for them anyway. To show true love is to put down your own feelings and hang-ups and be 100% there for the one you love.’
‘People are just selfish though how do they think we feel looking at our Loved Ones in their new post stroke conditions? It makes me mad I would rather they just said I can’t be arsed, at least you would know where you stood. People just can’t be honest, scared of hurting our feelings, well compared to what we have been through their opinions are nothing!’
‘Sometimes I feel as though it’s me and the boys up against the world. All I can say is thank god we’ve got amazing friends! Family gave good support at first but now we rarely see them, the majority haven’t visited for over 6 months which shows no support to my husband or our kids. People seem to think that sporadic text messages and emails are sufficient to keep in touch with my husband whilst my uncle who’s in his 70s and has just had heart surgery comes to see my husband from his home 20 miles away every couple of weeks. I think I’m better without the support and quite frankly the irregularity of it totally pisses me off. I hold grudges, a bad trait I know but that’s just how it is!’
Charities and government please LISTEN to these views from anonymous patients and people above affected by stroke.
Kate Allatt
Imagine being buried alive, where you can think and feel normally, but move absolutely nothing? You can hear & see everything going on but you are unable to communicate you can understand anything to anyone? Well I recovered, thrived and now inspire others, globally. I’m the founder of Fighting Strokes Trust. My first of three books - ‘Running Free' - is internationally published. I work passionately and voluntarily for my charity. I’m a keynote speaker, educator and patient health advocate. Finally, I pioneered a large stroke research bid which we hope will aid upper limb stroke recovery for others. I write blogs regularly – Stroke Recovery Tips & arockystrokerecovery - and I’m delighted to be posting blogs on talkhealth which specifically aid all types of stroke recovery – both physical & emotional recovery. My blog posts will be monthly and I always welcome your comments and feedback. A few of my notable media credits include: BBC Radio 2 Jeremy Vine, Globo TV Brazil, RTL Germany, BBC WORLD SERVICE, BBC Breakfast ABC Radio Australia, The Sunday Indian Times, Victoria Derbyshire podcast, , BBC The One Show, ITV This Morning, , the Voice Russia. ‘No promises, just possibilities.’
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