talkhealth Blog

Being a realist is not the same as being a pessimist.  In fact, it makes me kind of angry when people tell me I am being pessimistic about my illness.  There are certain things that I say and do that people will tell me are me just being pessimistic, but in all reality, these things are truths in my life that would be foolish not to accept.  

Truth 1:  I feel miserable 90% of the time.  Wether I am nauseous or in pain, have a migraine, sore throat or back pain.  Chances are, I feel pretty awful.  This is not me being overly dramatic, nor am I wanting sympathy.  Feeling miserable is just a part of my life.  
This also means, that if I have chosen to go to the gym or work out, that it took a heck of a lot of effort to get there.  It does not mean I feel any better than normal, it does not mean I’m exaggerating how bad I feel and it most certainly does mean that I feel good.  What it does mean is that I am stubborn and refuse to not workout just because I feel terrible.

Truth 2: This disease is with me for life. I have a chronic illness, it is not going anywhere.  There may be advancements in medicine and someday they might even eventually find a cure, but at this point in time, I am stuck with this disease for the rest of my life.
So don’t tell me I’m being pessimistic when I say that this is never going away.  Because it’s not.  Pending some miracle or scientific breakthrough, I will always have Crohns disease.

Truth 3:  Nobody understands.  Now this one is interesting, because realistically no one understands what I am going through.  This is not me being melodramatic.  No one has lived the life I have lived, it is unique to me.  Sure, some people can sympathize or even empathize with me, but the average person literally has zero clue what it is like to be sick every day of your life for the last 9 years.

Well I’ll stop here for now, because I’m starting to feel like I’m ranting.  But I’ll leave you with what kept coming to mind while I was writing this is, “you don’t know me.”  I really am not pessimistic about my disease, to me, it is just the life I’ve been given to live even if it isn’t so normal.