I wish I could watch as you click off this page when the reality of what you are about to read hits home with you and begins to sink in. It is a horrible feeling; I know I’ve been there! Many of you will possibly disagree with what I am about to say, but maybe you want to look in your own back garden before you start disagreeing, all I ask for is that you keep an open mind and read till the end before you make your mind up. 

I have heard almost every excuse people give to not go to therapy and time and time again it is money that comes top for reasons that is stopping someone seeking help, AND they wont go to the doctor because they don’t like the therapy that’s offered. 

Firstly, do you really want to change? 

Secondly, why are you using money as an excuse? 

Before reading on I would like you to know that I have been in a position of being penniless, in fact in debt and needing help from a therapist, so I know first hand what it’s like and I made all the excuses too! 

Ask yourself, what is more important than your health and wellbeing? 

Let me answer all the excuses that people give… 

Quite often people say, “but I have kids, they come first!” 

That’s right they do, and if you don’t take care of yourself then your children will end up in a similar position as you – children learn from their parents. Do you want your children to be in a similar position at any time in their life? They will grow up believing that what you’re doing is the right way to do things and behave.

“I have bills to pay”. 

Yes I know, we all do, but you could always live in a smaller place? 

Do you need the car you have or could you get a cheaper one? Can you walk more instead of driving or take public transport? 

Do you need your hair cut or beard trimmed regularly, what about your nails and make up?

Do you need Sky TV? Can you not just have freeview? Do you need the TV? 

Do you need those cigarettes or alcohol, what about those fizzy drinks or energy drinks and all those coffees you buy?

How about your smart phone? Do you really need it?

Now think about all the excuse you just gave yourself to justify your answers against what I asked.

“I can’t leave my house”. 

No problem, these days a there are therapists that work over Skype or FaceTime. Depending on the therapy, I’d do it over the phone too. 

“Therapy doesn’t work, I’ve seen a few therapists and they just talk about my childhood/mother/father”. 

Really? All therapy? 

It may have been the therapist you didn’t like or maybe that they were getting to the route cause and that made you uncomfortable, you may not have been ready to change? I wonder why all the therapists you have seen talk about the same thing? Maybe that’s the problem you need to deal with? 

“I don’t have the time because of work and/or my kids”. 

Could you not go in your lunch break or maybe you could ask your boss for a little time off so you can get some help? I doubt your boss would have a problem with this. 

The chances are that there will be a therapist within 30 minutes of where you work, that’s a total of 2 hours off per week (an hour travel and an hour appointment), now that isn’t much time at all is it? What about a Skype/Facetime appointment from your car during your break at work? If you boss isn’t willing to support your health and wellness then you may need to rethink that job. Maybe you could get someone to watch your children while you go?

Are you arguing with yourself yet, about all the “insensitive” things I’m saying? 

The reality is, we all make choices and excuses as to what we want in life, if you genuinely don’t want to change for whatever reason then that is absolutely fine, but don’t forget, any sacrifices you do make to head toward change are only temporary, you can get your Sky TV back when you’re better, you only need to take a little time out per week, it’s not forever. 

Believe me when I say that there is a solution to every problem. So when will you stop blaming others and take charge of your own life? 

Now you have read this far then please note that I truly do care about helping others and will give up as much time as possible for those that want it but please don’t kid yourself by making excuses, this life of yours is 100% your responsibility and no one is coming to save you. 

What is the aim of this? What is the message here? 

I am hoping to influence others to get off their arse and do something to become successful, I don’t care if you don’t want to come and see me, I care that you go get help from someone and if possible get off any antidepressants you are taking, stop suppressing and start dealing with your issues so you can live a happy and enjoyable life, remember, you were NOT born with the issues you are suffering with (anxiety, depression, worry, unable to cope, stress etc.). You can make change I promise, just DO NOT GIVE UP keep fighting the good fight and beat the shit in your life – YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY AND YOU CAN BE! 


Ed Francis

As an integrative therapist, I use extensive experience and training in effective methods that can help people overcome problems, phobias and issues that create obstacles in a person’s life. These methods include clinical hypnotherapy, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), psycho-therapeutic methods, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing), CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), Brief Strategic Therapy, Counselling, and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).