To have anorexia is not a fad, it’s not your decision – which is what many people mistakenly believe. This is a serious psychological disorder that, in this particular category, has one of the highest mortality rates. No one wants to live an unhappy life, filled with confused thoughts and emotions. If we could choose, we would choose a life without anorexia – that’s a fact.
I lived with anorexia for almost nine years, and I can honestly say that these years were horrible. This disorder becomes a part of you and demands that you destroy your life. Even though it’s your life, you no longer have a say in it. During these nine years, there were a lot of tears, arguments, low points and uncertainties – and this is why I will never forget this part of my life. During these years, I had the most negative self-image and, when I was really down, even wondered if my life was even worth living. Because of anorexia, I was so down that my life didn’t seem worth fighting for.
What anorexia means to me
Anorexia makes you compulsively focus on achieving a goal that cannot really be achieved. You’re fighting for something that doesn’t exist. You fight for an ideal of perfection that was formed in your mind, but you never realise that you’re moving further and further away from it with each pound lost. Anorexia slowly robs you of your own life, and your personality is suddenly made up only of rejecting food, physical exercise, enormous pain, loneliness, and the skin and bones, clearly indicating that you’re sinking deep into the some unknown place, where you’re becoming increasingly hard to reach and help. Let alone drag yourself from this place by yourself.
I fought and it was worth it!
Today, three years after finally being able to smile again, I look back proudly because I know that when I was at a low point and it seemed easier to give up, I found some meaning and motivation, and decided to get my life back. It was in no way easy, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. I live a life I never dared dream of. And all because I decided to fight – and did fight for it. I persevered.
But this entire experience was for nothing if I can’t use it to do some good. I can use it to help many others that are right now facing the same thing I faced in the past. I believe we must first understand anorexia before we can overcome it. And who better to help with that than someone who struggled with it? For this very reason I wrote a book, hoping to make readers truly understand how it feels to live with this disorder, and to present some ways that helped me return to a normal, happy life.
We need to talk about anorexia
I want to share my book with the world, so that it finds its way into the hands of those who need it – make it a warning about the dangers of eating disorders, or even an encouragement that you can overcome them. For this reason, my brother and I are launching the Kickstarter campaign on 4 December 2018 – NOTICE ME: My 9-Year Struggle against Anorexia – to hopefully get the funding to translate the book into English. You can visit our Kickstarter page and presentation video if you wish. What do you say – do you want to join me so we can find HAPPINESS together?